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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    California
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    Default Almost 18 But Can't Stay With Mother, in California

    I've had a normal relationship with my mom for the last 17 years, but now that I want more freedoms as a teenager, there's been so much animosity because she's losing control over my life. I do what I'm supposed to, I come home when I'm told to, I maintained good grades and a heinous job in my Junior year, and balanced all kinds of emotional issues between my home and my friends.

    But now she's become extremely overbearing with me and I can't stand her. Whenever I try to talk to her and discuss the issues at hand, she pulls this "you're a teenager, you don't know what it's like" defense. I know I lack a lot of life's experience, but it's still not fair if I can't even put in my own defense. And of course, she thinks I'm throwing away my future for my boyfriend - which couldn't be further from the truth - because I like spending time with him and he's really the only friend who offers to see me anymore.

    Now finally, with us always being at each others throats, she's telling me she's kicking me out after I turn 18. I, however, want to get out sooner. My mom told me that she'll gladly let me leave if I can find a responsible adult who will agree to take me. My dad died 7 years ago and I doubt any of my related family can take me right now and/or I have a feeling they'll take her side because she's the mom. I have two people in mind though; my boyfriend's mother who thinks my mom shouldn't be parenting at all and is willing to claim guardianship over me until I'm 18 (though I would only go to her in case of emergency - I don't think living in my boyfriend's house is the best thing), and an old friend of the family's, who actually took care of me when I was a toddler because my mother was the druggie/alcoholic teen mother.

    I only have seven months until I'm 18, but I'm sick and tired of living here with her. I don't know the first thing about changing legal guardianship. How do I get out?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    California
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    174

    Default Re: Almost 18 but can't stay with mother - CA

    Quote Quoting KryssDevine
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    I've had a normal relationship with my mom for the last 17 years, but now that I want more freedoms as a teenager,

    What 17 year old in this world doesn't???

    there's been so much animosity because she's losing control over my life. I do what I'm supposed to, I come home when I'm told to, I maintained good grades and a heinous job in my Junior year, and balanced all kinds of emotional issues between my home and my friends.

    Sounds pretty darn normal to me.

    But now she's become extremely overbearing with me and I can't stand her.

    What 17 year old can stand their mother all the time?

    Whenever I try to talk to her and discuss the issues at hand, she pulls this "you're a teenager, you don't know what it's like" defense.

    Maybe a defense...but absolutely true.

    I know I lack a lot of life's experience, but it's still not fair if I can't even put in my own defense.

    It's completely fair actually. At least in my house, you don't have a say until you can support yourself without my help... at all.

    And of course, she thinks I'm throwing away my future for my boyfriend - which couldn't be further from the truth - because I like spending time with him and he's really the only friend who offers to see me anymore.

    I remember saying the same thing when I was 17


    Now finally, with us always being at each others throats, she's telling me she's kicking me out after I turn 18.

    Absolutely within her right

    I, however, want to get out sooner.

    Good. Can you support yourself without anyone else helping you?

    My mom told me that she'll gladly let me leave if I can find a responsible adult who will agree to take me.

    That's nice of her. I'd make you stay put. You sound a bit spoiled.

    My dad died 7 years ago and I doubt any of my related family can take me right now and/or I have a feeling they'll take her side because she's the mom.

    No, they'd take her side because she's probably right

    I have two people in mind though; my boyfriend's mother who thinks my mom shouldn't be parenting at all and is willing to claim guardianship over me until I'm 18 (though I would only go to her in case of emergency - I don't think living in my boyfriend's house is the best thing),

    No offense, but your boyfriend's mom should mind her own business and not speak about what's going on inside someone else's house. I guarantee you she only knows what you want her to know/see.

    and an old friend of the family's, who actually took care of me when I was a toddler because my mother was the druggie/alcoholic teen mother.

    Irrelevant if she's cleaned up her act

    I only have seven months until I'm 18, but I'm sick and tired of living here with her. I don't know the first thing about changing legal guardianship. How do I get out?

    You wait out 7 months and pack your bags. At midnight, leave and do whatever it is you please with your life, just be aware that most of us thought we knew all we needed to know about life until we became parents ourselves, then it was hell trying to get back on track once life kicked you in the behind.

  3. #3
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Almost 18 but can't stay with mother - CA

    Looks like you might be putting lust in front of reason! CM is correct in all her answers. Look through the emancipation threads at all the teens who thought (as we all did at that age) we knew better. Then we grew up saw the real world and realized we didnt!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    California
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    Default Re: Almost 18 but can't stay with mother - CA

    Okay, maybe I gave you the wrong impression. Where "lust" came into play, I don't know. I stated I DIDN'T want to move in with my boyfriend unless I had no place else to go. And spoiled? I probably work harder than your kids and my needs are always second to my mother's.

    I know I don't know better, I know I lack life expirience, but I'm not stupid. I see what people have to do to get by. This isn't a cry for help because I don't love my mommy, this is me not being able to live with someone who verbally abuses me, accuses me of things I don't do or have any intention of doing, takes cheap shots at emotional wounds, and blames me for the "rough life" we've had.

    I came here looking for help, not to whine about my life, and I got shot down by someone. So thanks. But this is the problem with parents with teenagers. They don't listen to their kids and replace their child's reasons and explanations with "typical teen behavoir." If it's so typical, then just shut up and listen to your kid. Maybe you're wrong. More than 90% of the time, my mom was wrong.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    California
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    174

    Default Re: Almost 18 but can't stay with mother - CA

    Quote Quoting KryssDevine
    View Post
    Okay, maybe I gave you the wrong impression. Where "lust" came into play, I don't know. I stated I DIDN'T want to move in with my boyfriend unless I had no place else to go. And spoiled? I probably work harder than your kids and my needs are always second to my mother's.

    I would hardly think so puddin' pop. My oldest is a Los Angeles County Sheriff. You think you work harder than him??? My youngest is but a 7th grader, but even he has a job.

    I know I don't know better, I know I lack life expirience, but I'm not stupid. I see what people have to do to get by. This isn't a cry for help because I don't love my mommy, this is me not being able to live with someone who verbally abuses me, accuses me of things I don't do or have any intention of doing, takes cheap shots at emotional wounds, and blames me for the "rough life" we've had.

    Cry me a river already. Welcome to teenage life. Good thing is that you only have 7 months to go. Look how fast the first 7 months of this year have gone by. You'll be out of there in no time and you can do whatever you want. I'd sure let you, but as I told mine... that door is one way once you've decided you know everything.

    I came here looking for help, not to whine about my life, and I got shot down by someone. So thanks. But this is the problem with parents with teenagers. They don't listen to their kids and replace their child's reasons and explanations with "typical teen behavoir." If it's so typical, then just shut up and listen to your kid. Maybe you're wrong. More than 90% of the time, my mom was wrong.
    And maybe I'm right...ask my son, he'll tell you I had it right on. But you can counsel me on parenting when you become one and raise them to adulthood in tact, responsible and able to live on their own (like we have). Until then, take your own advice and shut up. That's probably part of your mother's issue with you. Your mouth is too big.

  6. #6
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Almost 18 but can't stay with mother - CA

    You sounbd like every other whinning brat who thinks they know better. We hear it dozens of times a day. Now since you think your different here swhat you need for emanipation

    . A job that pay sufficent income for "self' (keyword) support
    . A plan for continued education
    . A place to live (living with BF doesnt count and is frowned upon)
    . A plan for independent living

    Thats for starters. Emancipation is not about escaping parents rule its about self support for minors who are forced into such situations. Its not easy and process takes months! Its not quick. By the most petitions are denied! Heres an example in 2005 GA had about 10,000 petitions out of that number about a dozen were granted. Every teen thinks their parents are too strict. You have but a few months hang in there and at midnight of your 18th birthday get out. You may think you know what it takes you don't! However you can find that out on your 18th birthday because emancipation is not likely. If your being abused (even verbally) contact CPS

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