
Quoting
Harinakshi
Different names have plagued me my whole life. My father forced my mom to give me his last name, but he has never been in my life, I have never met him, at least since I was a wee baby. But I've been stuck with his last name, which I've always hated. When I was 6 months old my mom got me a second SSN Card with her last name, and when I went into high school my mom registered me with her last name. I've gone through life since then with her last name except for anything that required a birth certificate or driver's license.
I'm getting married next month and I cannot wait to have one single legal last name that I do not detest.
But it gets more complicated. When I was 19 I had a baby with a crap of a man. Well, I haven't seen him since I was 4 months pregnant. He's not on the birth certificate at all and I gave my son my mother's last name since it was the last name I liked. But now that I'm getting married, and we're planning on more kids, I want everyone to have the same last name. I don't want my son to have to deal with the troubles of a different last name from his parent(s) like I did.
Now, while his real father isn't on the birth certificate, he does pay child support. Well, they dock it from his check, he doesn't pay it on his own, and actually owes quite a bit of back child support from when he didn't pay it and his employer didn't take it. There has never been a paternity test and his father has never actually claimed him. As far as child support goes he is the default dad because he did not return the child support papers he was served.
Anything dealing with him I've just kept stagnate. I've never tried to get more money like I know I could, because he'd be served more papers, and while he has never seen his 4 year old son, I'm afraid if he were to get new papers and have to say how much time he spends with him, he might decide he wants to see him. And seeing as we already live a good 500 miles apart, and our family might move up to Oregon in the next year or so, that would put more distance between us. I don't want his father to have any custody rights at all, I don't trust him, but I've been told any court would give him rights and partial custody if he asked, even though it's been 4 years of no contact, and about $5K of back child support unpaid. This fear has kept me from doing anything to child support. And the main reason my future husband and I have decided against adoption is because, right now, we still need child support and do not have the money to possibly fight the father in court.
So, this long story comes down to...can I just change his name? There is no father on the birth certificate and in child support he is only the default dad. And the child has MY last name. Basically, what do I need to do to change his name? And will the bio father have to be contacted?