Hi. I currently have been with my fiance since 2001. We have three children together (one my own) and plan on getting married next year 2008. My son's father has been in and out of his life since he was born. He has gone to seeing him a few times a year to seeing him once every couple years, etc. My son turns 11 this Thursday. I have been to court to try and remove vistitations rights I gave his father back in 98, but the court keeps giving in to him. Also, my soon to be husband has been his only father figure since we have been together; mind you; me and my sons father were together three years. (year two we had our son, year three i left) The court seems to keep giving his father chance after chance. I dont get it. If I left my child I would be a bad mother and they would say I abandoned my son; he would have all rights. I have had soul custody of him since 98 and it feels like I don't. He is an unfit parent, and is never there for his son. Why are they giving him so much right to our child?
Basically, I wanna know what it takes to allow my soon to be husband to adopt my son, and change his name to our family name without having to go through his biological father. His father refuses to give up any visitation or allow for a name change/adoption even though he is never there. The last ttime he seen his son was three years ago, the time before that maybe a year. Now after not hearing from him in so long he calls up the other day to see our son and has more stories than mother goose why he hasn't been around. This is killing me and my husband, and our son! This whole ordeal has upset me greatly for years, and I simply cannot deal with this anymore. please help.

