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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    3

    Default 18-Year-Old Son Asking to Change Custody

    I have a question based on the following scenario:

    Last month, a month before high school graduation my son asked to live with his dad--all the time. Note he is leaving for away-college mid August, so it seems weird timing to me--he can come and go as he pleases, why the abrupt change for 8 more weeks...

    Background:
    We divorced when he was 5, and since then I have been primary residential custodian and he has visited with his father anywhere from 2 to 7 days per week over that time. For most of the past 6 years, they have argued alot and my son would refuse visitation about 1/3 of the time.

    Things changed last year when his father bought him a brand new jeep. All of a sudden he was asking to spend more time with this person he had so despised. His father also told him how unfair it was that he pay me child support and have to pay for for his portion of college too. Slowly I saw my son getting brainwashed, because he would tell me it was unfair--information that was not even his business. In brief, I believe his father is telling him that by changing the custody he will not have to pay me child support which he has convinced my son is unfair. The issue is not custody so much as money .


    I can't list all the past incidents here because it would slow down the internet , but in June after he was deciding he did not want to live with me, he went to his college orientation with me. His father did not even go to college orientation. This demonstrates even more that his does not want to be a real father, only a good time Charlie that doesn't have to pay for his child and doesn't have to care about his school's rules and regs nor teach him to be a responsible adult either.

    I received his motion and we will be going to court in the near future. Do I stand a chance by explaining that money is the crux of the issue, and that I am willing to give up child support and allow more visitation, but I would like the jiudge to ask my son for the reason he wants the change and to still get to see him?

    Is this a totally losing battle? I love my son and it is hard enough to see him go away to college without him also not coming to even visit me this summer.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: 18 year old son asking to change custody

    what state are you in and what are the directives concerining college costs?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: 18-Year-Old Son Asking to Change Custody

    I live in NJ, which is fairly liberal in its decisions. The existing agreement says the college costs will be split proportionately, and I believe he makes about 50% more than I do.

    He is asking to split the costs 50-50.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: 18-Year-Old Son Asking to Change Custody

    The age of majority in New Jersey is 18. It is difficult to see why a motion would be necessary except to affect post-majority child support.

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