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  1. #1

    Default Parents Struggling With A Difficult Teen

    Florida.

    My stepson is a habitual runaway. His father, my husband, is gone almost all the time due to work. The natural mother is dead. He is a high school drop-out with a GPA of .75. He work history is scant. Drugs are an issue. DCF has been involved in our lives but always the claims have been deemed unfounded and/or untrue.

    Without going into extensive detail, we were recently contacted by an attorney who inquired as to if we would be willing to emancipate the currently on-the-run stepson.

    Many do-gooders step in and have made our lives hell concealing his whereabouts. I think this is a step they are assisting him with. It is something he has wanted a long time.

    Once a minor is emancipated, can they ever become the responsibility of the original guardians/parents? What do they have to prove to be emancipated? Any longevity needed to secure their claim to independence? Is promise of expected inheritance an issue weighed by the judge?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: Parents are struggling too

    Quote Quoting desperate stepmother
    View Post
    Florida.

    My stepson is a habitual runaway. His father, my husband, is gone almost all the time due to work. The natural mother is dead. He is a high school drop-out with a GPA of .75. He work history is scant. Drugs are an issue. DCF has been involved in our lives but always the claims have been deemed unfounded and/or untrue.

    Without going into extensive detail, we were recently contacted by an attorney who inquired as to if we would be willing to emancipate the currently on-the-run stepson.

    Many do-gooders step in and have made our lives hell concealing his whereabouts. I think this is a step they are assisting him with. It is something he has wanted a long time.

    Once a minor is emancipated, can they ever become the responsibility of the original guardians/parents? What do they have to prove to be emancipated? Any longevity needed to secure their claim to independence? Is promise of expected inheritance an issue weighed by the judge?
    Your husband can file to have his son emancipated, however, from what you describe it's almost certain that a court will refuse to grant emancipation. Your step son is an habitual runaway, and a drop out without a stable work history, or any plans for his future. Those are all very good reasons why a court will refuse to emancipate. No, a possible FUTURE inheritence will not mean anything in court.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Parents are struggling too

    Florida's statute seems to be designed in no small part for situations like this - where the parent has determined that emancipation is necessary. However, there has to be a plan for the support of the minor through the age of majority.

    As part of the emancipation petition you would provide "A statement of the minor's character, habits, education, income, and mental capacity for business, and an explanation of how the needs of the minor with respect to food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and other necessities will be met."

    Assuming your son otherwise qualifies, you have not described how your son would be able to support himself without receiving financial assistance from your husband, and I expect that would be part of the deal. Your husband's lawyer can fill him in on the details of how this might work.

  4. #4
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Parents Struggling With A Difficult Teen

    What about bootcamp or something similar. Emancipation is about self support not giving up on a child leaving him to fend for himself. Since you are already aquainted with Social Services contact them and ask them about programs that may be available to you

  5. #5

    Default Re: Parents Struggling With A Difficult Teen

    Florida.

    Forget the camp. Forget counseling. Need support and cooperation for success with this step.

    We refuse to financially support the next camp this step son sets up. We refuse to accept the people he will be camping out with. There's a history. The interlopers were warned and they have done it anyway.

    My main concern right now is the security of the rest of our nuclear family. When this one runs away and DCF is pulling your elementary school child into the office for a clandestine meeting, well, adios kiddo.

    Obviously, emancipation is off the table for all purposes.

  6. #6
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Parents Struggling With A Difficult Teen

    How does the bio parent feel about all this? If the child is a danger to others then action camp etc are a must if not then regardless of your willingnes counseling is in order. This is your step child and you have no real connection its not your issue to resolve. Legally you have few options but morally the child needs help as does the family. Talking to Children's services can steer you in right direction on whats best for all

  7. #7

    Default Re: Parents Struggling With A Difficult Teen

    Florida.

    I was writing hurriedly. I didn't make my point clear. Many in the family have begged the father and the now deceased mother to get counseling. Again, without going into the history, in my opinion it came down to pride and not wanting to hear about personal responsibility. Each decided that the boy would "grow out of it" and would "move on."

    Frankly, I have been the strongest immediate proponent for counseling. I set it up through the schools so grief counseling and anger management were available to the children. I brought religion and practice of faith into the home.

    I resent the supposition that because I am not the birth parent I have no real say in what goes on. Afterall, I as we aim to spend the rest of our lives together I don't believe 18 is a magical age where we dispose of a responsibility and lose a tax write off. Working toward a common goal is what is needed here.

    With outsiders availing themselves to this kid and alienating the natural family, and with so little power to do anything about it, what I feel like doing is setting my sights on the interlopers and getting some satisfaction at seeing them punished.

    Selfish and self-serving motive? Yep. And it will just remain an idea because there is no real win in destroying someone else.

  8. #8
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Parents Struggling With A Difficult Teen

    If bio Dad wont do anything and you feel this child poses a danger to you or other in home you do have options

    .Contact CPS file complaint
    .Camp or similar actions
    .Threats to Bio Dad to take action or you leave
    .Leave for safety of yourself and any others in home endangered

    These are a few suggestions. As Step parent you have limited say so in anything regardless of how well meaning you are. If Dad wont enter counseling or some other acceptable option then leave.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Parents Struggling With A Difficult Teen

    I am not in fear of this child while he is removed from the home. Yes, there was violence and manipulation and lies while he lived under our roof.

    I will not leave the marriage nor abandon the security of the children to make a point about the oldest son. Bio Dad will have his own day of reckoning with the child. At that point they will work out their own problems.

    It's tough to work out anything if the two are not in contact and one is in hiding.

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