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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Lebanon, OH
    Posts
    4

    Default Ex-Husband Is Arguing Nonpaternity And Fraud Nine Years After Divorce

    Hi, I am new here and facing a crisis. I live in Ohio, where I have lived for my whole life, I was married for over ten years, and divorced in 98.

    During my marriage I cheated on my husband, and he cheated on me, plus there was some more complicated situations, but that is neither here nor there. When I divorced I asked for nothing from my ex except custody of my son, I didn't even want child support. I was told in court that Ohio law requires that a child support order be set. This may or may not be exactly true, but based on our incomes my ex was required to pay about $100 a week child support. We agreed on shared parenting on paper, but my son only sees my ex about once a month, and never stays over. About 2 to 3 years ago my ex told my, then 14 year old, son that he didn't think he was his father. My son asked me and my current husband about this, and we decided to tell him that there was a possibility that this was true. He asked who the other person was, and if it was someone he knew, which it was so I told him. After going off on my ex for saying this to a 14 year old, I thought it was more or less dropped.

    The problem is that I just found out, when I was served with papers, that after finding out he was infertile my ex had a DNA test ran that proves he is not my sons biological father. I asked my now 16 year old son about it and he said that his dad's girlfriend swabbed his mouth a few months ago for this. My ex has known the results since early April, my son has known for a little over a month, and his dad told him nothing would change, he just didn't want to pay support anymore. My son says, "he guesses he should have told me! Now my issues...

    My ex says that I committed fraud when I said he was my sons father, but I didn't know he wasn't. We were sleeping together during the time that my son was conceived, yes I cheated on him during the same time period, but we were still having marital relations. We remained married for 7 years after this time. He is asking the courts to terminate his child support, and to order me to reimburse him for the support he has paid. Plus he wants me to pay for his current fees, testing, and his past attorneys fees from when we divorced nearly ten years ago. What are the chances of the court doing all of this? If they terminate the child support that is no big deal, as I said before I didn't want it in the first place. And will my son have to change his name?

    Thank you,
    Tammy in Ohio

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Horse Capital of the World, FL
    Posts
    98

    Default Re: Ohio Ex established thru DNA he is not 16 year olds father 9 years after divorce

    The court will probably ask him why he waited so long to perform a paternity test (if he had doubts). Reimbursement of paid child support and lawyers fees related to your divorce are not likely (especially since he could have had a paternity test anytime in the last 15 years). Not all paternity tests are admissible in court so he make sure the one he took will hold up in court. Speak to a family law attorney. They will be able to give you some good direction. Be aware that they will want to confirm that the 'other man' is truly the father (paternity test) and that his name may be placed on the BC.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Ex established he is not father

    He says that I committed fraud when I said he was my sons father, but I didn't know we were sleeping together during the time that my son was conceived.
    What?! You didn't know you were sleeping together????!!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Ex established he is not father

    well, it seems that Ohio does not limit the time, after birth, for the paternity to be validated or refuted. So, with that, he will be able to disestablish paternity and should be released from any further child support obligations.

    I could find nothing that would allow him to recover past payments or legal fees such as he is seeking. I suspect, unless he could substantiate a case for fraud, he will not recover anything. Even if he does prove fraud, I believe his chances of recovering anything are very limited since he failed to act in a timely manner in his actions.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Ex established he is not father

    In connection with the fraud allegation....while you were married, did your ex know that you had been unfaithful? At the time the child was born, was he aware that he might not be the biological father?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Ex-Husband Is Arguing Nonpaternity And Fraud Nine Years After Divorce

    I've been googling "paternity fraud" and it looks like more and more states are trying to help these guys that sign birth certificates for children born in a marriage without knowing the child is not theirs biologically.

    Here's a site with an article on how some states (including Michigan) are trying to deal with the epidemic - http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1144414531354

    The article reads, in part:

    Meanwhile, many states are responding to the alleged widespread problem of paternity fraud with new laws.

    Florida is about to pass a new law that would end child support if a man proves he's not the father.

    In Colorado, a new state law took effect this year that permits men, for the first time, to challenge the paternity of alleged offspring -- at least during the proceedings of a divorce, separation or child-support action.

    And Michigan is considering a bill that would require the courts to withdraw child support if a man proves he is not the father.

    A dozen other states have also made similar changes to paternity laws, most of them in the last five years, that allow for men to disestablish paternity. These states include Ohio, Georgia, Maryland and Alabama.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Lebanon, OH
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Ex-Husband Is Arguing Nonpaternity And Fraud Nine Years After Divorce

    When I said "I didn't know we were sleeping together" I meant I didn't know if it was him or the other guy, because my exhusband and I were sleeping together at the time I got pregnant. As a matter of fact our anniversary was on Nov.9th and my son was born on Aug.1st, if you use a gestational calculator that is the Nov.9 is the date I got pregnant, and my ex and I had sex on our anniversary.

    In regards to the other question about if he knew. He accused me of cheating from the time we first got together. I was young and dumb or I would have seen how controlling he was and never married him. I started seeing him when I was 15, and married him right after I turned 18. We were married 2 years before I finally did cheat, yes I know it was wrong, but that is in the past. My ex and I also had a threesome at his insistence with his bestfriend, a male, before I had my son.

    The person I cheated with was someone I had been friends with from childhood, and it started as someone that listened and turned into more. We slept together twice, my ex had accused us of sleeping together nearly 2 years before we actually did.

    I have no problem with the courts telling my ex he no longer has to pay child support, as I stated before I didn't want child support in the first place. I have a problem with him asking for the return of the prior support when he knew that we had cheated on each other long before we were divorced, and he said that he thought my son was not his then. I have an appointment with a local attorney, but due to their vacation they can't see me for another week. I am just stressing in the meantime.

    Thank you all for any help you can and have given

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Horse Capital of the World, FL
    Posts
    98

    Default Re: Ex-Husband Is Arguing Nonpaternity And Fraud Nine Years After Divorce

    Don't stress. He certainly could have asked for a paternity test anytime in the last several years (especially if he had doubts along time ago). Granted, you could have asked for one too. Hind sight is 20/20 vision. I'm still confused - was he aware (from the beginning) that you had been intimate with someone else and that this child could have a different father? If he was aware and still accepted responsibility (by not having a paternity test or disputing it in the divorce), I can't see a judge ordering you to pay back that child support. You could always offer to pay it back if that is something you really want to do . As far as reimbursement of divorce lawyers fees.... There's absolutely no merit to that request. It sounds like he's asking for anything he can think of in hopes that he'll get something (if you don't ask for it, you cartainly can't get it). Please let us know how this turns out. Good luck.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Lebanon, OH
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Ex-Husband Is Arguing Nonpaternity And Fraud Nine Years After Divorce

    In answer to the question, "was he aware" from the beginning... My ex knew that my blood type is O-. It is my understanding that he found out when he had a blood test later that his type is A-. After my son was born I had to have the shot for RH antibodies, which means he is positive. We were told by the doctors when they first found that I was RH- that two negatives can't make a positive. So when he found out his blood type he knew then that he couldn't be my son's father, but he didn't tell me at the time. I just found out that he is A- around the time I heard about the DNA test. On top of that, he knew I had been intimate with his best friend around the time I got pregnant, because he was there. I don't think his friend is the father because we used protection. He also knew that I had been with another person around this time, the man that I now believe is the bio-father of my son.

    I have recently figured out that my ex doesn't think that is who it is, and I don't feel the need to tell my ex that he is wrong. My ex told my son who he thinks it is, and that was a person that I have not seen since high school, 20 years ago, and my son is not yet 17.

    Addendum: My friend read the court papers and thinks that my ex is trying to say that I got pregnant on purpose and said it was his because he was going to divorce me. Mind you, our divorce was granted on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, after I filed, six months after I left him.

    I realize that this is a strange situation, I'm sorry.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Lebanon, OH
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Ex-Husband Is Arguing Nonpaternity And Fraud Nine Years After Divorce

    Well, I met with one attorney today. First off he wants $1500 to start, big money for a poor girl...lol, but if I have to come up with it I will. Anyway, he says he doesn't think my ex has a leg to stand on because he waited so many years to dispute paternity. 9 years since the divorce! I told him that I was willing to give up receiving child support, he recommends against this. He thinks we should counter with the reason that I didn't know, and ask him to pay my costs seeing as he calls it a frivolous case. I am going to talk to another attorney later today, I will let you all know what he says.

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