thank you in advance as i navigate this forum. my situation/question is this:
i have a 17 yr old daughter at home, who will be 18 in july. she has been an honor student for 2 years, leader in rotc, no troubles will the law, drugs, etc. she has no record. however, she has had some emotional problems due to divorce and chemical imbalance (despite all this she has persevered to do well, has NO history of drugs,alcohol,tobacco use). i have had social services here on 2 occasions and also called them to try to find resources to help her, they had none.
she has been under the treatment of a psychiatrist for about 2 years. he initially DX her with depression and gave meds. she did better, wanted off the meds as they were many and made her sick. after about 6-8 months she starting having problems again, i took her back and she was DX with bi-polar and an eating disorder. she has been in the ER twice in 6 weeks, and also brief hospital stay 2 years ago for a week. ER refused to transport her to psyche stay and said she was old enough to decline. we did try to have her placed for help.
i have tried to find resources for her but due to rural area, not much offered. i have had her in therapy and counseling also and encouraged her to do various activities like track, etc. this is a child who has never even dated and is very disciplined in all other areas.
about 3 weeks ago we visited the psychiatrist who at that time DX her with the mood and eating disorder, wanted to hopsitalize her but she wouldn't go. they only hold patients 7 days, put on meds and send home, and it is 3 hours one way there. doctor told her to avoid this because it generates record/papertrail which could come back to haunt her. my feeling was so what? the child has a problem and needs help.
due to all this ongoing chaos at times, i have been unable to keep a job and my husband, kids stepdad, is our only income. he is a great man. my ex husband has been no help at all and out of the picture.
after this doctor visit, we went to buy groceries. she had only taken one or two doses of the meds. i think this was all within a few days of eachother.
i kept her with me at all times. she did get a few feet away, was looking at laxatives, knew i would not purchase nor let her purchase, she opened a small box and took one foil pak out and stole it. we left the store, and she reentered minutes later to hand in job application.
nothing done at that time and i knew nothing. she told me truth later after she was questioned.
that night and next day, same store called to have her come in for job interview (false pretenses). i took her, excited for her and dropped off. they sat her in pizza stand and came out to ask her what she had been wearing day before. next they took her in the office, police chief there, questioned her on this, made alot of threats and scared her badly. then had her go to police station to write statement. all this time i did know what was going on and she denied the theft to the store and police, and wrote a statement saying she did not steal anything.
hour later she called me and i picked her up at library. police released her to walk to library. still i was never notified. she confessed to me what happened when i picked her up. they did not arrest nor charge her. but threatned to post her name and picture in the store, where some of her friends work, to the public and make a spectacule out of her. they informed her they would hand over the evidence to prosecutor for processing.
(i did call a free legal help line and the attorney there told me they would probably drop it due to lack of evidence, however, they did not and now she must go to court.)
now, its been 2-3 weeks and a police officer showed up at our home yesterday. we live in very rural area in amish community. he had her sign a paper, stated she was being charged with petty larceny-first offense, and left her with us, gave her court date for day after her graduation.
we have no money to hire attorney. they base their charge on a video tape which they say shows she stole the merchandise. apparently she stood directly in front of the pole where the camera is.
i have not seen any documents.
i am confused about how to handle this. i am not a whiny mom who protects her children from consequences, but i don't want this to ruin her life. she has been trying to join the military.
she has no past record, and was told by recruiter that her emotional problems were not uncommon, she could recover, and it would not prevent her from enlisting at a later date.
i am wondering how i should handle this, and if her psyche problems will help to minimize anything.
should i contact anyone, and if so, who? and when? i believe she has learned her lesson and will not repeat it. the police said she is 17 and therefore a legal adult and that nothing they did was illegal.
they did not charge her when they questioned her nor read rights, etc.
the prosecutor viewed the evidence and scheduled the hearing.
she is 17, but an adult, but since she is still at home, we are responsibile.
she is planning on moving to ohio after graduation to live with her sister and has a job there already. if she gets probation will this prevent her from moving?
if any of this makes sense, feedback would be helpful and i do thank you.

