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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
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    1

    Exclamation Going About Custody

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

    I haven't been getting along with my boyfriend, who is the father of my 2 children ages 5 and 7. We haven't been getting along for a while now but I'm at the point where I want to be done with him. I've only stuck it out with him for this long (we've been together 8 years) because I didn't want to separate the children. I stupidly allowed him years ago to have custody of our 7 year old son. I have custody of our 5 year old daughter. I'm so afraid to end the relationship cause the children's father doesn't care about the kids having a routine or any structure to their day. He doesn't believe the kids need to go to bed at a decent hour on a school night, he doesn't seem to worry about them being included in meal times. He has another 14 year old son from a previous relationship and he seems to only worry about the 14 year old. He says he don't worry about the kids because they'll let us know when they are hungry but he ends up giving them junk food. He is trying to more of a friend to them than a parent, he only seems to parent his other son from a previous relationship. I don't know what to do about this, he does other stuff like he lounges in bed half the day while I do all the work. He told me he'll get custody of our daughter. My kids will be neglected under his care and it scares me but I don't know how to prove him not capable of taking care of the kids. Any advice? He also has a nasty temper, he calls me mean names all the time and has the kids calling me names like meany mommy because I'm actually being a parent.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,441

    Default Re: Going About Custody

    Quote Quoting supermom91
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

    I haven't been getting along with my boyfriend, who is the father of my 2 children ages 5 and 7. We haven't been getting along for a while now but I'm at the point where I want to be done with him. I've only stuck it out with him for this long (we've been together 8 years) because I didn't want to separate the children. I stupidly allowed him years ago to have custody of our 7 year old son. I have custody of our 5 year old daughter. I'm so afraid to end the relationship cause the children's father doesn't care about the kids having a routine or any structure to their day. He doesn't believe the kids need to go to bed at a decent hour on a school night, he doesn't seem to worry about them being included in meal times. He has another 14 year old son from a previous relationship and he seems to only worry about the 14 year old. He says he don't worry about the kids because they'll let us know when they are hungry but he ends up giving them junk food. He is trying to more of a friend to them than a parent, he only seems to parent his other son from a previous relationship. I don't know what to do about this, he does other stuff like he lounges in bed half the day while I do all the work. He told me he'll get custody of our daughter. My kids will be neglected under his care and it scares me but I don't know how to prove him not capable of taking care of the kids. Any advice? He also has a nasty temper, he calls me mean names all the time and has the kids calling me names like meany mommy because I'm actually being a parent.
    First, just because he was given custody of your son some years ago doesn't mean that you could not file for custody based on the status quo of you all living together as a family. The same applies to your daughter as well. Just because you technically have custody of her doesn't mean that the status qua hasn't changed for her as well. It would be appropriate to start fresh establishing custody at this time. However, bottom line is that you are both going to have parenting time with both children no matter what the timeshare ends up being.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    2,730

    Default Re: Going About Custody

    Quote Quoting supermom91
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    my boyfriend . . . is the father of my 2 children ages 5 and 7.
    Was his paternity ever established? If so, how was it established?


    Quote Quoting supermom91
    View Post
    I stupidly allowed him years ago to have custody of our 7 year old son. I have custody of our 5 year old daughter.
    I think what this means is that, for some unstated number of "years," the 7yo son has lived with your (ex-?) boyfriend and the 5yo has been living with you. Correct? If that's not what you meant, what does it mean that you "allowed him [to have] custody"?


    Quote Quoting supermom91
    View Post
    he does other stuff like he lounges in bed half the day while I do all the work.
    So...do you live together? If so, what did you mean when you wrote that, "years ago," you "allowed him . . . to have custody of" your 7yo, while you have custody of the 5yo?


    Quote Quoting supermom91
    View Post
    Any advice?
    Retain the services of the best family law attorney you can afford.

    Unfortunately, you chose to have kids with this guy and chose to do so without being married. Different folks have different philosophies about parenting, and when you split up, you can't force the other parent to adopt your philosophy, and courts give folks wide latitudes to raise their kids as they see fit, so you're going to have to accept that your children's father has a different philosophy than you do.

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