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  1. #1
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    Oct 2020
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    Default Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana
    My sons father and I have joint legal custody of our 4 year old. He has been with his girlfriend since our son was a few months old. Within the last few months we have changed our court agreement to every other week. We have not been able to co parent well at all. Itís gotten worse with every other week arrangements. I have explained to him that I feel she is the reason we cannot co parent well and I do not want her to be apart of our parental conversations and other things. She ALWAYS speaks for him, She is always the one to message me and I rarely speak to my sons father about my my son. Recently while I was having a face to face conversation with my sons father she jumped in and it turned into a huge fight. I do not want her being a third party interference right now, until me and his father can work on our co parenting. And then I will try to work on co parenting with her as well. He is ignoring my request and tells me she will be at everything he is at regarding our child. Is there anything I can do? If I ask/tell the school I only want me and his father there do they have to listen to my request

  2. #2
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    Oct 2016
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    The girlfriend doesn't have a dog in this fight. Her wants and needs do not come into play.

    But the school is not the referee here and it isn't their place to have to do so.

    If you aren't happy with a situation and you and your ex can't work it out, lawyer up and get a court to babysit the two of you.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    Quote Quoting Courtl10
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    Is there anything I can do?
    I'm certain there are lots of things you can do.


    Quote Quoting Courtl10
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    If I ask/tell the school I only want me and his father there do they have to listen to my request
    Assuming that "have to listen to my request" really means "honor my request and do what I want regardless of what the other parent wants," the answer is no. I have to wonder, though, do you anticipate a significant number of "school parent conferences" for a four-year old child? I have kids in their mid- to late teens, and I don't think my spouse or I has attended more than a small handful of conferences with their teachers or other school officials over the years.

    The bottom line is that you cannot force your child's father to deal with you directly. He's free to do all of his communicating through his girlfriend. You can, of course, request that the school only allow you and the father to be part of any conferences that may occur, but you can't compel the school to exclude his girlfriend if he wants to designate her to attend in his place. If things get particularly problematic, you'll have to ask the court to amend the custody order. Note, however, that courts don't tend to like it when adults act like children and force the courts to micro-manage their lives.

  4. #4
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    Jan 2011
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    There are services/tools such as Our Family Wizard that are used to help facilitate co-parenting relationships, especially when they are difficult.

    If your ex does not respond to questions then you can make statements with the caveat that no response from him implies agreement. So, instead of saying "May I drop off <son's name> an hour early this week or will that be a problem?" use "I will be dropping off <son's name> an hour early this week. If that is a problem please let me know so I can change my plans."

    You could also block your ex's girlfriend's phone number.

    Is there anything in the visitation order about no third-party interference?

    Check with the school for their policy regarding non-parents attending parent-teacher conferences.

  5. #5
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    Aug 2020
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    You can return to court and ask for a order/ruling on this and likely piss off The Judge you wasted his/her time with this. A better option is to talk to EX and work this out between you like adults https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVrrG6t4QYk&t=2s

  6. #6
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    Quote Quoting Shrinkmaster
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    You can return to court and ask for a order/ruling on this and likely piss off The Judge you wasted his/her time with this. A better option is to talk to EX and work this out between you like adults https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVrrG6t4QYk&t=2s
    If the girlfriend is interfering in the co-parenting process it is not at all guaranteed that the judge will be pissed off at the OP. It is equally likely that the judge will be pissed off at dad for letting his girlfriend take over. Many judges are not fond of overstepping new significant others, whether they be females or males.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    Question: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences(?)

    Answer: Yes, if he wishes to invite her to be present while he is there (as you indicated), then she is allowed to be there.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    Schedule separate conferences.

    Also, it works both ways. Would you like to have your SO involved?

    Are you jealous that your ex has moved on? Are you afraid that SO will replace you in your child's mind? Make ex's SO your ally and not your enemy. Life has so many possibilities that another caring and involved adult in your shared child's life could be a great help for your child in the future.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
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    Schedule separate conferences.
    If your school allows for divorced/separated parents to have separate conferences this is a good idea. Not all schools will, but some definitely do.


    Are you jealous that your ex has moved on? Are you afraid that SO will replace you in your child's mind? Make ex's SO your ally and not your enemy. Life has so many possibilities that another caring and involved adult in your shared child's life could be a great help for your child in the future.
    Sorry but I don't think that this part is good advice in this type of scenario.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Default Re: Does My Sons Dads Girlfriend Has Legal Rights to Be in School Parent Conferences

    You may want to consider parallel parenting vs co-parenting.

    It's been my experience (long ago, to be fair) that preschools/daycares (at 4, your child is in one or the other) will be willing to meet with the parents separately. When he is actually in school, you can approach them about doing individual conferences - but you will not be able to bar her from attending with him. I would also urge you to be very cautious as to how you talk about her to your child's teachers - don't be "that Mom" who badmouths the new woman - let them figure things out for themselves. Go high every time.

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