Can I Live with a Friends Family

[edotoria]

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: arizona

so ive been living in a really abusive house with my mom for my whole life she has really bad anger issues and takes them out on me shes constantly hitting, kicking, slapping, punching me etc every day. not only that but emotional abuse as well she constantly tells me how worthless i am how much she hates me and wants me dead on an everyday basis. not to mention i deal with depression and anxiety but she dose not care and refuses to get me help. i really need to get out of this house i and i have a friend whos willing to take me in and there parents are completely on board so i need to know if my friends parents can get legal custody of me without me having to go to foster care

[Mercy&Grace]

If your mother has "constantly been hitting, kicking, slapping, punching me etc every day". A teacher at school would have seen the marks by now and called CPS. If for some strange reason that has not happened. Why haven't you called the police or CPS? Why haven't you talked to a teacher, school counselor, etc about it?

You need to tell us how old you are before anyone can answer your question.

[edotoria]

im 13 years old and no teachers reported the marks because i hide them and i havent called cps myself because i dont want to be put into foster care or a group home

[Mercy&Grace]

Your mother has to give permission for you to live any place else. Where is your father? If things are as you say they are. You need to talk to a teacher or school counselor. You can also call CPS or the police. You are a child and cannot decide where you do and do not want to live.

[edotoria]

so is there absolutely no way that my friends parents can get custody of me? even if my mom agrees with me leaving and we take it to court?

[Mercy&Grace]

As long as your mother agrees it is fine. But I seriously doubt your mother will agree. Your mother will still have to give her permission for the same things she does now. Your mother and father will still be responsible for your financial support. You living with your friends and their parents is not as simple as you think it is. There is no reason to go to court as long as your mother agrees to you living there. If she does not agree. There is no reason for a court to allow it. If things are that bad at home and CPS agrees with you after they investigate. You will be put in foster care.

[pg1067]

In any future posts, please make at least some effort to use proper capitalization and punctuation. Doing so will make it easier for others to read and understand what you write.

The starting point is getting out of the abusive situation, and that means calling the police and/or CPS. Once you are out of the bad situation, your friend's parents can seek to have you placed with them.

[cbg]

Can't help wondering how bad the abuse really is, if there's only one solution you're willing to take. We used to have a moderator here on this board who had really been abused, as in, landed in the hospital for weeks type abuse. She used to get plenty mad at kids who claimed abuse, but weren't willing to take any steps necessary to get out. Foster home, group home, other relatives; if ANYTHING wouldn't be better than the situation you're in, she figured, then there's something wrong with the abuse claim.

Now, you've got two ways out of the house. One is with your parents' permission; the other is if the state removes you. There is no situation under which custody or guardianship is going to be given to someone else by a court over your mother's objections unless the state agrees that you need to be removed. If Mom says you can move in with your friend's family, then fine, you can move in with your friend's family. But if she says you can't move out, then you can't move out unless the state says so. And that means involving CPS.

So I can't help but wonder what you think is going to happen to you in foster care or a group home that's worse than "shes constantly hitting, kicking, slapping, punching me etc every day. not only that but emotional abuse as well she constantly tells me how worthless i am how much she hates me and wants me dead on an everyday basis". Sounds to me like foster or group care would be paradise in comparison. If it doesn't to you, then even allowing for a bit of "the devil you know" it sounds more to me that you want to live with your friend than that the abuse is really all that bad.

Y'know?

[Mercy&Grace]

Can't help wondering how bad the abuse really is, if there's only one solution you're willing to take. We used to have a moderator here on this board who had really been abused, as in, landed in the hospital for weeks type abuse. She used to get plenty mad at kids who claimed abuse, but weren't willing to take any steps necessary to get out. Foster home, group home, other relatives; if ANYTHING wouldn't be better than the situation you're in, she figured, then there's something wrong with the abuse claim.

Now, you've got two ways out of the house. One is with your parents' permission; the other is if the state removes you. There is no situation under which custody or guardianship is going to be given to someone else by a court over your mother's objections unless the state agrees that you need to be removed. If Mom says you can move in with your friend's family, then fine, you can move in with your friend's family. But if she says you can't move out, then you can't move out unless the state says so. And that means involving CPS.

So I can't help but wonder what you think is going to happen to you in foster care or a group home that's worse than "shes constantly hitting, kicking, slapping, punching me etc every day. not only that but emotional abuse as well she constantly tells me how worthless i am how much she hates me and wants me dead on an everyday basis". Sounds to me like foster or group care would be paradise in comparison. If it doesn't to you, then even allowing for a bit of "the devil you know" it sounds more to me that you want to live with your friend than that the abuse is really all that bad.

Y'know?

I agree. When I was working I saw a number of kids, usually teenagers, that thought they were being abused. They turned being told they could not do what they wanted to do into abuse. When the police or CPS became involved. it was discovered there was no actual abuse. Foster homes and group homes are not perfect. But when a child is truly being abused They are a answer to prayers.

If the friends parents knew the whole story and their is actual abuse in the home. The friends parents should call CPS. There is much more involved with a child living with "friends" than children realize.

[Harold99]

In any future posts, please make at least some effort to use proper capitalization and punctuation. Doing so will make it easier for others to read and understand what you write.

Stop being the grammar police! Incase you haven't noticed, you are talking with the general public. IOW, cut them some slack.