Adult Son Rents Room in Parents House; Can Parent Tow Sons Car W/O Permission

[Mark47n]

Do you honestly think that the dad was being reasonable in this instance? He promised to give the OP 24 hours notice and did not, in a situation where he knew the OP was out of town and wouldn't be returning until late the next day. His own wife believed he was being unreasonable since she did not back him up and in fact actively prevented him from having the car towed.

However, the OP had better seriously consider leaving a second set of keys somewhere at home so that somebody can move his car if necessary.

I'm sorry, were we discussing what is/isn't reasonable? I was under the impression that we were discussing what the law did and did not permit in this specific instance.

No, I don't believe dad was reasonable, but that doesn't mean that dad didn't have the right to have the car towed. There is no mention of advance warning anywhere in any of the referenced statutes for having a vehicle towed off of private property.

[llworking]

I'm sorry, were we discussing what is/isn't reasonable? I was under the impression that we were discussing what the law did and did not permit in this specific instance.

No, I don't believe dad was reasonable, but that doesn't mean that dad didn't have the right to have the car towed. There is no mention of advance warning anywhere in any of the referenced statutes for having a vehicle towed off of private property.

Your statement:

I'd start looking for a new place to live. If you were my kid and you tried this I'd make your life hell for that time that I was require to provide notice. If your mom doesn't agree to that notice she can't stop your dad from making you miserable.

not only made it appear that you thought dad was being reasonable, but that you applauded him as such.

[Mark47n]

Your statement:



not only made it appear that you thought dad was being reasonable, but that you applauded him as such.

Fair enough. There are a lot of adult children living with their parents and for a lot of different reasons, the most common being the cost of housing. I don't have an issue with this arrangement as long as said children are not acting like children. Given the tone and petulance I sense in the OP's writing it sounds like there's a lot of child and a lot less adult. I'll accept that I may be reading a lot in between the lines and I may have been influenced by my state of mind at the time.

I have two daughters, 20 and 22, one is in Norfolk VA and is in the Navy, the other lives on her own and works as a Vet Ass't. There are still issues that arise periodically about to whom the house belongs (this often crops up when we've made modifications to old bedrooms, like painting. My wife and I have made it clear that while they will always have a home with us, where ever we are, the house belongs to us, not them. Towards the end of my younger daughter living with us there were distinct issues that arose that smack of the attitude that comes through this OP's writing that bring forth my support of the OP's dad. It would not surprise me if the OP had adequate prior notice but simply ignored it or forgot...but now I'm in the realm of wild and biased speculation. Perhaps dad is an unreasonable jerk or, conversely, maybe mom is an enabling, codependent mess. I don't know.

[llworking]

Fair enough. There are a lot of adult children living with their parents and for a lot of different reasons, the most common being the cost of housing. I don't have an issue with this arrangement as long as said children are not acting like children. Given the tone and petulance I sense in the OP's writing it sounds like there's a lot of child and a lot less adult. I'll accept that I may be reading a lot in between the lines and I may have been influenced by my state of mind at the time.

I have two daughters, 20 and 22, one is in Norfolk VA and is in the Navy, the other lives on her own and works as a Vet Ass't. There are still issues that arise periodically about to whom the house belongs (this often crops up when we've made modifications to old bedrooms, like painting. My wife and I have made it clear that while they will always have a home with us, where ever we are, the house belongs to us, not them. Towards the end of my younger daughter living with us there were distinct issues that arose that smack of the attitude that comes through this OP's writing that bring forth my support of the OP's dad. It would not surprise me if the OP had adequate prior notice but simply ignored it or forgot...but now I'm in the realm of wild and biased speculation. Perhaps dad is an unreasonable jerk or, conversely, maybe mom is an enabling, codependent mess. I don't know.

My adult daughter, her children, her boyfriend and his other children all live in my home (his other children every other week). Do problems occasionally arise? Sure they do. Do they occasionally get sticky? Sure they do. You cannot have a bunch of people, and dogs (lol) living in a home together without things getting occasionally sticky.

Does that mean that I assume that all adults living in their parent's homes are always in the wrong? No, I do not. I can understand dad being frustrated that son's car was in the way of the work that he wanted to get started. However, threatening (and actually attempting) to have his car towed when he knew that son was out of town and could not move it was totally unreasonable in my opinion. I think that the fact that mom stopped him is an indication that he was being unreasonable.

Also, he pays rent to his parents (he said so in the first post). So he is not the typical deadbeat adult child sponging off of mom and dad.

[Mark47n]

My adult daughter, her children, her boyfriend and his other children all live in my home (his other children every other week). Do problems occasionally arise? Sure they do. Do they occasionally get sticky? Sure they do. You cannot have a bunch of people, and dogs (lol) living in a home together without things getting occasionally sticky.

Does that mean that I assume that all adults living in their parent's homes are always in the wrong? No, I do not. I can understand dad being frustrated that son's car was in the way of the work that he wanted to get started. However, threatening (and actually attempting) to have his car towed when he knew that son was out of town and could not move it was totally unreasonable in my opinion. I think that the fact that mom stopped him is an indication that he was being unreasonable.

Also, he pays rent to his parents (he said so in the first post). So he is not the typical deadbeat adult child sponging off of mom and dad.

Then I'm willing to stipulate that you's much more forgiving than I am, for what that's worth. That said, we know almost nothing and you well know it. We don't know how much notice is actually given or anything other than the OP feels that dad's unreasonable and mom putting a stop to the towing is not an indicator anything, either. That the OP pays rent is immaterial, it only means that he can't be chucked out on his ear.