
Quoting
pg1067
The suggestion that "a reminder [be] sent to [the] ex before the closing" is perfectly reasonable. That the ex is "abusive" or "difficult" isn't relevant for the simple reason that he's a part of this transaction, so you have no choice but to deal with him. Being proactive is better than not being proactive.
The court order isn't binding on anyone other than you and your ex. The job of a closing attorney (or escrow company) is to what the persons who hire him/her instruct him/her to do. In other words, if your and your ex's instructions to the closing attorney are that he/she distribute the proceeds according to what the divorce decree says, then there you go.
At this point, I'm going to remind you that no one here has read your divorce stipulation, your divorce decree, the contract for sale of the property or the instructions to the closing attorney.