My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Kansas
So 2 years ago, im in CA, I’m 2 years married, my wife is 6 months pregnant, and we JUST posted a gender reveal video on Facebook. The next day i see i was messaged by the mother of a woman I use to sleep with years ago from work back in Missouri. She was married back then, abusive husband story etc. anyway I knew she was pregnant, and I asked her, if it’s mine or her husbands. She said her husbands, we had an hours long talk, and she had no confusion about it and given our feelings, I had zero reason to think this woman would lie to me.. I moved probably 2 weeks later (had already announced the move months before). I had also seen her and talked to her for hours a few months after she was born, i even commented on a Facebook picture of them! (Side note, my sister was her delivery nurse when she was born, technically the second person to ever touch my daughter, we think that’s kinda cool) but she never said a word, my sister had no idea who she was as she wasn’t a relationship that was known to my family, but BM did know she was my sister). Sometime around 1.5 years old husband does DNA test and has rights terminated. Fast forward 5.5-ish years and here I am after a gender reveal. The message just said “you’re my granddaughters father” and began to explain that the “ex” is now married to someone new, lives in Kansas and my daughter had been raised, for 2 years knowing him as her father and if I don’t want to be involved “they won’t even tell my wife” just establish paternity and sign my rights off so husband can adopt. I couldn’t do it. I felt it was unfair to me and my family, my unborn son, and so unfair to the little girl, who one day could show up at my door asking why I didn’t have room for her in my life, even if I did find out later. I said i want to meet her and we fell in love so instantly. We bonded so instantly, friends and family, and even her mom describes it like a movie, that the blood bond was so strong that we just knew instantly how much we would mean to eachother, and I know right away I wasn’t going to let myself fail in this thing.. Her mom was really supportive of us bonding, we also briefly re-romanced. (Save judgements pls, I was legally seperated, mutually agreed to peruse other relationships. BM was filing for divorce, and an actual relationship between WAS an option, for about a year). Her husband did happen to find out about it, this the last he has ever spoken to me, replied to text or calls about my daughter, and basically try to roadblock any attempt I make at visiting. I sent money all the time, Ive spent thousands in flights and hotels and rental cars, brought her to California twice, went to disneyland. Paid her school stuff, her cheer...But shes hardly got to bond with my son. And my wife and i have since Reconnected and strengthened our married (obviously this caused lots of tension) and I’ve been wanting to move forward and have my daughter out to CA more often, for longer times, and begin these discussions with her mom and they never go well. Then I fly out one weekend for her cheer competition, every time we have to go seperate ways she is just inconsolable...crying, won’t let go, it’s so hard. This time in front of her mom and step-dad. They literally had to pull her off me and walk away, I think it got to them. They stopped letting me call almost every day, or atleast us making videos to eachother which we did almost every other day if not every day. And they deleted me from the messenger app I had put on her iPad. They won’t let me and my family have her for the week we planned months ago for summer, and I’m heartbroken. I told them I don’t have a choice and will have to get court ordered visitation, I’m not just going to not try and see my daughter. their response was that I must have got the wrong impression, this isn’t what they wanted for their family, and they still want me to relinquish my rights, then tried to bargain saying they’d make sure i get visitations, like I’m stupid. I told them I was never going to, I am not going to, and I never will relinquish my rights to my daughter and her rights to me. They have since blocked ALL communication, with them and with my daughter, i don’t know if she is sick, i don’t know if she is okay, i don’t know what things they are telling her. Now she’s sending me and my mom messages that she told me 5 years ago, when her ex-husband found out she wasn’t his, that she had a friend message me and I called her crazy and blocked them all, so i “technically abandoned her for 5 years” None of this ever happened! She also sent a text saying “*** knows the truth, i explained things to her perfectly,and that’s all that matters”...but the moment I found out 2 years ago I’ve done nothing but my absolute best to be a good dad for my girl, and I’m really scared she’s going to try and go into this visitation/custody battle with this narrative. When I found out 2 years ago the advice from AB attorney was to see if mom will allow me to establish a relationship BEFORE seeking visitation orders, as their process of reunification would be slow, and also there was the chance that they’d decide step-dad would be better served to stay father. Since she has let me have her overnights unsupervised for well over 60-70 times in 2 years, as well in California twice, I think there’s evidence that they have no distrust in my ability as her parent. I have no criminal record, I’m currently on disability for a back injury but I am still technically working full time and Even on disability my income is decent. I’ve hired an attorney but i want to make sure I’m asking the right questions and making the right moves. What can I do? What’s worst case scenario? Best case? What would a realistic visitation order look like in this situation? I feel like I’m stuck praying that what I’ve done the last 2 years is enough. Because, well it is court, and there are many blown calls in our family law system. I just don’t want to lose my daughter.