My question involves a marriage in the state of: Connecticut
This is my first time here.
We have been married 26.5 years with four kids. Two are just entering adulthood and the other two are 8 and 12.
My husband is a high conflict person with a suspected personality disorder (he will not seek therapy, and doesnít think he has a problem). He is verbally and emotionally abusive. Physically too, but not to person, but with stress (pandemic now), heís broken things in fits of anger. He threatens divorce near constantly and belittles me endlessly. I am working on boundaries and not responding to his outbursts.
So, despite all his threats, I may end up beating him to the punch.
He has been the primary breadwinner for the length of marriage. I worked outside the home at first, but when children came, started working PT from home. More recently I was working FT, but I left that job last fall and havenít found a new job.
Even when working FT, he was making 5-6x more than me, but sometimes 10-12x more.
The stress of the pandemic hit him hard and he has been anxiety ridden since. He chooses not to work at all right now. He could some, but doesnít.
We have no savings. I have a small inheritance that has been paying bills while he isnít working. I donít want to deplete this.
My credit sucks (so does his) but I am trying to fix mine. I was trying to fix his, too, but with his refusal to work, I canít focus on him. He likes to take vacations and do things and spend money. I would rather have some financial security, but he made most of the money, so he won.
I am emotionally battered, but I own my responsibility in it and I should have stood up for myself a long time ago.
I am happy to share more details, so please let me know if thereís anything that would be helpful.
My questions ó
Can I expect any alimony? How much (%age, but happy to share income if that helps)? How long?
Child support? Does that impact alimony?
How much would a medium conflict divorce cost? Just a ballpark.
As I mentioned, he is verbally abusive. I have dozens of abusive text messages. Do they have value in divorce?