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  1. #1

    Default Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington

    Really looking for some direction and help, PLEASE!

    Let's start at the beginning... My ex and I have 2 children together, a 14 year old and 11 year old (ages now). I have been paying for a cell phone for the 14 year old to have for about the last 6 or 7 years. This started because the ex was controlling the conversation I was having with them when I had to call her phone to speak with them. I mean should would tell me not to say certain things to them about their day, ways I say it, a ton. And none of this involved her, I mean to say I would ask if they had anything important in their day going on and she was upset because she didn't want them to feel like everything in their day wasn't important and would get on the phone and stop the conversation.

    Fast forward, she took the phone away a few weeks ago. The phone was a replacement phone she bought off craigslist, I had been paying the monthly plan in my name and so I let it go since she officially owned the phone itself. Ok, whatever. She then told me that she was going to get the 14 year old a cell phone that she can only use while with my ex. Ok, still no big deal, kind of because what 14 year old wants to have 2 cell phones and tell her friends that they have to call one number some days and another number other days? So I offered to just take the phone number that has been associated with the 14 year old and use that for her phone since all of her friends already have it, as long as she can take that phone with her everywhere, but the ex said no and that the only way the 14 year old can have a cell phone while with me is if I pay for a phone that she has on my time and that phone would not be allowed when not with me.

    I understand that whether the kids have and use the phone 1 day a year or every day of the year I would be paying the same monthly price. But the ex is just trying to control everything and punishing our child to gain control over me. An actual thing she said to me was, "this isn't about her, this is about you" in regards to the cell phone.

    Is there anything I can do, any ideas, ANYTHING? I don't know if there is any legal advice that can be given, or even just any advice about how to handle this. I have 14 days to return the new cell phone, I just have no idea what to do.

    Current parenting plan says nothing about cell phone usage. I have the children every other weekend during the school year with a midweek visit the week they are not with me and have them every other week during the summer.

    Thanks for any advice!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,197

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    Quote Quoting spokanedriver
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington

    Really looking for some direction and help, PLEASE!

    Let's start at the beginning... My ex and I have 2 children together, a 14 year old and 11 year old (ages now). I have been paying for a cell phone for the 14 year old to have for about the last 6 or 7 years. This started because the ex was controlling the conversation I was having with them when I had to call her phone to speak with them. I mean should would tell me not to say certain things to them about their day, ways I say it, a ton. And none of this involved her, I mean to say I would ask if they had anything important in their day going on and she was upset because she didn't want them to feel like everything in their day wasn't important and would get on the phone and stop the conversation.

    Fast forward, she took the phone away a few weeks ago. The phone was a replacement phone she bought off craigslist, I had been paying the monthly plan in my name and so I let it go since she officially owned the phone itself. Ok, whatever. She then told me that she was going to get the 14 year old a cell phone that she can only use while with my ex. Ok, still no big deal, kind of because what 14 year old wants to have 2 cell phones and tell her friends that they have to call one number some days and another number other days? So I offered to just take the phone number that has been associated with the 14 year old and use that for her phone since all of her friends already have it, as long as she can take that phone with her everywhere, but the ex said no and that the only way the 14 year old can have a cell phone while with me is if I pay for a phone that she has on my time and that phone would not be allowed when not with me.

    I understand that whether the kids have and use the phone 1 day a year or every day of the year I would be paying the same monthly price. But the ex is just trying to control everything and punishing our child to gain control over me. An actual thing she said to me was, "this isn't about her, this is about you" in regards to the cell phone.

    Is there anything I can do, any ideas, ANYTHING? I don't know if there is any legal advice that can be given, or even just any advice about how to handle this. I have 14 days to return the new cell phone, I just have no idea what to do.

    Current parenting plan says nothing about cell phone usage. I have the children every other weekend during the school year with a midweek visit the week they are not with me and have them every other week during the summer.

    Thanks for any advice!
    Mom is obviously upset about something you have done, since she says its not about the 14 year old, its about you. So, what specifically have you done that has mom upset enough that she believes that the child has to have only a phone that she can control on her time? Identifying that is your first step in resolving the problem.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    Of course. She is upset that I had asked for assistance in paying for the cell bill. And because I asked again, she decided to just disallow it all together. But because she is dating someone new who offered to pay the entire bill for her she would just rather take control completely and find ways to spite me. I say this because she said that it wasn't our child's fault, it was because of me. When I asked the ex if there was any situation we could workout where our 14 year old has a cell phone when she's with me, without me having to buy a complete different cell phone, the ex said no.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    17,924

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    Sorry, there is no cure for having a lunatic ex.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    17,924

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Mom is obviously upset about something you have done, since she says its not about the 14 year old, its about you.
    I think now we know.

    https://www.expertlaw.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=245829

    Dad has a new wife who wants to be bff to the daughter.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    Yes, my new wife (5 years married now) has a close relationship with my daughter. They get along well, my wife was teaching at a middle school in the district my daughter goes to so they had a lot to talk about.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    Does the mother's time extend to all time except for when she is with me? For example, she is saying our child cannot have the phone even at friends houses if it's her weekend and can say that because it's her weekend

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    3,992

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    If it is her time she gets to set the rules.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    265

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    What is in the custody agreement about telephone contact? If there is nothing, have something added that there be a REASONABLE amount of contact during the other parent's custody periods.Specify both parent initiated and child initiated. At the ages of the children, parent assistance is not needed for the child to be on the telephone. Ask that the custodial parent is to respect the child's privacy on conversations with the other parent.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Mother Limiting Phone Contact

    When she's at school and friend's places, is that considered mother's time?

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