I am getting divorced in Oregon. I am trying to think through what elements we want in our support agreement, both alimony and child support.

We are both in our 50's. We've been married 10 years, with two kids 8 and 10.

I have greater earning potential than she does by about 3x (i.e, if she could make $50k/yr, i can make $150k/yr).

I would like her to have a similar life style to mine, largely for the kids. How to we put this into writing? What might come up that we should consider?

For example, if she marries or co-habits, how do we adjust support? It seems to blanket to say support ends if she marries. Her new partner may make considerably less than her and the fact of her cohabiting may change her standard of living minimally. And what do we do if we make a change becuase she cohabits and that relationship ends? Does my support go back up?

What if she is making half of what i make? Or, albeit unlikely, what if she makes the same as i do? Do we write down a formula for support that we regularly use to adjust support? Is this a known process?

Also, my income is uncertain at this time. If we were married, we would share the burden of that. If we are not married, and i have a fixed amount to give her, why should i bear the burden of that? It seems that in standard agreements the burden is all on the payer: is she makes more or less, i still pay the same.

Are there known answers to all this? I feel like i am reinventing the wheel, when this has to have been considered thousands of times.