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  1. #1

    Default Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: EL MONTE, CAL
    I live in El Monte, CA, the same town as my ex,we have 50/50 custody of our daughter, 11. I had to take employment
    for a company 2 hours away. I have been struggling financially for a couple years, must take this job to turn things around financially. My
    ex husband is causing a lot of stress over these. He was given a two month notice that this might happen, also that he could see our daughter
    any time he wanted and that I was asking nothing from him in terms of support. I haven't had the time or money to go to Court to seek
    modification, but he is telling I can't take my daughter, that he will keep that from happening, that our daughter will stay with him in this
    town, period. What can I do if I don't have a modification yet, I have to move for my new job this week? I am her Mother and she is
    pre-teen, she needs me, I want to just take her. Thanks.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Does your divorce order say anything about moving? Moving 2 hours away is not like moving across the country.

    What modification do you think is necessary? And how will your Ex keep that from happening?

    Take your daughter and if your Ex goes to court you answer it.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    You say you have 50/50 custody. How was visitation handled prior to you leaving? Is it spelled out in the custody order? If so, you may find yourself in violation there.

    How exactly are you planning to handle visitation now that you are 2 hours away? You made the distance so you will be responsible for transportation. Since he's not going to have anywhere near 50/50 during the school year, you can expect a court to give him generous holiday/summer vacation time.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting freemaya2020
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: EL MONTE, CAL
    I live in El Monte, CA, the same town as my ex,we have 50/50 custody of our daughter, 11. I had to take employment
    for a company 2 hours away. I have been struggling financially for a couple years, must take this job to turn things around financially. My
    ex husband is causing a lot of stress over these. He was given a two month notice that this might happen, also that he could see our daughter
    any time he wanted and that I was asking nothing from him in terms of support. I haven't had the time or money to go to Court to seek
    modification, but he is telling I can't take my daughter, that he will keep that from happening, that our daughter will stay with him in this
    town, period. What can I do if I don't have a modification yet, I have to move for my new job this week? I am her Mother and she is
    pre-teen, she needs me, I want to just take her. Thanks.
    The previous advice, unfortunately, doesn't really work for you because you have a 50/50 timeshare. Therefore, dad does have every right to insist that the child remain in the current area, and has a better than decent shot at winning primary custody in court if a modification is filed. Your odds of getting to relocate the child are not strong. They aren't impossible, but they aren't strong. You should have asked for advise before interviewing out of town.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    The previous advice, unfortunately, doesn't really work for you because you have a 50/50 timeshare. Therefore, dad does have every right to insist that the child remain in the current area, and has a better than decent shot at winning primary custody in court if a modification is filed. Your odds of getting to relocate the child are not strong. They aren't impossible, but they aren't strong. You should have asked for advise before interviewing out of town.
    I invite you to read this CA case:https://scholar.google.com/scholar_c...=en&as_sdt=4,5

    When the parents have joint physical custody, modification of the co-parenting arrangements is not a change of custody requiring change of circumstances. Instead, the trial court has wide discretion to choose a parenting plan that is in the best interest of the child. (In re Marriage of Birnbaum (1989) 211 Cal.App.3d 1508, 260 Cal.Rptr. 210.) The joint custody moving parent does not have the presumptive right to change the child's residence, and bears no burden of proving the move is essential or imperative. (Burgess, supra, 13 Cal.4th at pp. 38-39, fn. 10, 51 Cal.Rptr.2d 444, 913 P.2d 473.) Nor does the opposing nonmoving parent bear the burden of showing substantial changed circumstances require a change in custody or that the move will be detrimental to the child.

    The value in preserving an established custodial arrangement and maintaining stability in a child's life is obvious. But when the status quo is no longer viable and parents have joint custody, a court must review de novo the best interest of the child. It can fashion a new time share arrangement for the parents. This is what the trial court did.

    Here, the court was faced with a somewhat unique set of facts. Foreman requested permission to change Taylor's residence to Colorado and she sought a modification of the existing custody order from joint to her sole custody. Niko opposed the modification, and sought an order maintaining the status quo. He did not seek sole custody. We cannot conceive of a plan, and Niko proposes none, that would maintain the status quo with Foreman living in Colorado and Niko living in California. To maintain the status quo, the court would have been required to prohibit Foreman from moving and the court has no such authority. (In re Marriage of Fingert (1990) 221 Cal.App.3d 1575,1581-1582, 271 Cal.Rptr. 389.)
    The facts of the case although not exact, the reason to move is for financial stability and OP is not (assuming) moving out of state but 2 hours away.

    So I disagree with your odds of OP getting a modification and being allowed to change her daughter's residence.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting budwad
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    I invite you to read this CA case:https://scholar.google.com/scholar_c...=en&as_sdt=4,5



    The facts of the case although not exact, the reason to move is for financial stability and OP is not (assuming) moving out of state but 2 hours away.

    So I disagree with your odds of OP getting a modification and being allowed to change her daughter's residence.
    You missed something important in that case. In that case, Niko made the mistake of only asking to maintain the status quo. Since the judge only had jurisdiction to decide where the child should live, not the mother, the judge was totally unable to grant Niko's petition.

    Had Niko counter petitioned for primary custody of the child in the event that mom moved, the judge could have (and almost guaranteed would have) granted custody to Niko.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    I disagree with your assessment and I will leave it at that.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting budwad
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    I disagree with your assessment and I will leave it at that.
    Bud, a judge cannot order something that is not before them. The judge cannot give custody to a parent who hasn't asked for custody.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting freemaya2020
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    He was given a two month notice that this might happen...
    Was this "notice" the court-required notice to relocate with your child?

    Do a Google search on "California Family Code Section 3024" and start reading, then take what llworking has posted to heart. If you just up and move without filing the proper notice with the courts and getting permission based on the child's best interest, I do agree that there's an excellent chance for Dad getting primary physical custody, with you having visitation and paying child support.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting freemaya2020
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: EL MONTE, CAL
    I live in El Monte, CA, the same town as my ex,we have 50/50 custody of our daughter, 11. I had to take employment
    for a company 2 hours away. I have been struggling financially for a couple years, must take this job to turn things around financially. My
    ex husband is causing a lot of stress over these. He was given a two month notice that this might happen, also that he could see our daughter
    any time he wanted and that I was asking nothing from him in terms of support. I haven't had the time or money to go to Court to seek
    modification, but he is telling I can't take my daughter, that he will keep that from happening, that our daughter will stay with him in this
    town, period. What can I do if I don't have a modification yet, I have to move for my new job this week? I am her Mother and she is
    pre-teen, she needs me, I want to just take her. Thanks.
    She also needs her father and the continuity of her current school and community. Remaining where she is comfortable and where she has a 50/50 parent is significant.

    You need to follow the proper procedure for her to move with you. Being ordered by the court to return her to your current community will be traumatic. Don't do this to her. Go to court.

    You should be willing to live with the same deal you offered him - for DD to live with dad and you see her whenever you want. You could also continue to live in the same community as your ex and commute to work.

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