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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
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    She also needs her father and the continuity of her current school and community. Remaining where she is comfortable and where she has a 50/50 parent is significant.

    You need to follow the proper procedure for her to move with you. Being ordered by the court to return her to your current community will be traumatic. Don't do this to her. Go to court.

    You should be willing to live with the same deal you offered him - for DD to live with dad and you see her whenever you want. You could also continue to live in the same community as your ex and commute to work.
    Its a two hour commute. The child is young enough that she probably can't be left alone for hours in the morning and hours in the evening on mom's time anyway.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
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    47.606 N 122.332 W in body, still at 90 S in my mind.
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Alas, it's easy for us to say that the OP should stay where she is but sometimes that's just not possible or practical. At the same time we all have to live with consequences of our actions.
    "Where do those stairs go?"
    "They go up!"

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6,668

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Bud, a judge cannot order something that is not before them. The judge cannot give custody to a parent who hasn't asked for custody.
    What you are missed is that the court reviews the case De Novo meaning they examine what is in the best interest of the child from the beginning. In the case cited, it doesn't matter that the father wanted the status quo.

    Now if you think that a court reviewing a relocation application (De Novo) 2 hours away is going to award physical custody to the father of an 11 year old girl instead of the mother, well I don't think so.

    And physical custody doesn't change the actually custody of 50/50.

  4. #14
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting budwad
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    What you are missed is that the court reviews the case De Novo meaning they examine what is in the best interest of the child from the beginning. In the case cited, it doesn't matter that the father wanted the status quo.
    Yes, it does matter because it was impossible for the judge to order status quo.

    Now if you think that a court reviewing a relocation application (De Novo) 2 hours away is going to award physical custody to the father of an 11 year old girl instead of the mother, well I don't think so.
    Wow...not only seriously sexist but massively behind the times.

    And physical custody doesn't change the actually custody of 50/50.
    Bud, 50/50 refers to a timeshare. Joint legal and physical custody refers to parents jointly having custody rights and decision making regarding their children and that during their time, their children are physically in their custody. Parents can have joint legal and physical custody without having a 50/50 timeshare.

  5. #15

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Thank you for taking time to respond! I appreciate it. I received some conflicting answers, weighing them, may just go to court. Thanks again!!

    I want to thank all of you for taking time to offer your input. It all has been very helpful. I'm going to see a family law attorney locally and try to deal with this through
    mediation, which seems to be the first step. Again, great input from all, thanks again!!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    1,985

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    I'm not sure what "50/50 custody" means since that's a term found nowhere in the California Family Code. Does your divorce judgment actually use that term? Or is it just a term you're using to summarize what your divorce judgment says? Also, what, if anything, does the divorce judgment say about either parent relocating?

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    258

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Actually, a typical 11 YO (6th grade) is certainly capable of being alone at home for 3 to 4 hours at a time. A child that age should be capable of fixing simple meals and snacks, starting homework, caring for pets, simple housework... The biggest issue is transportation to and from school, appointments and activities. I know children that age capable of supervising younger (elementary age) siblings as well.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
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    Actually, a typical 11 YO (6th grade) is certainly capable of being alone at home for 3 to 4 hours at a time. A child that age should be capable of fixing simple meals and snacks, starting homework, caring for pets, simple housework... The biggest issue is transportation to and from school, appointments and activities. I know children that age capable of supervising younger (elementary age) siblings as well.
    I disagree...and in my state there was a rather famous case of a neighbor calling CPS because an 11 year old was left home alone after school every day. CPS showed up on a Friday, took the child and didn't notify the parents until MONDAY that they had taken the child. The parents and the police where frantically searching for the child the entire weekend. The parents were required to provide a babysitter for the child until he turned 12. The judge however did apparently rip CPS a new one for the whole fiasco.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    258

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    I base my opinion on both military housing guidelines and experience as parent of 4 and grandparent of 3. Grated all of these children were all above average intelligence and acceptance of responsibility. Very few places offer after school care for miffle schoolers (6th - 8th grade; almost 11-15).

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,216

    Default Re: Can My Ex Stop Me from Moving Away with Our Child, to Work with a New Employer

    That's ridiculous. At eleven I was babysitting my siblings and at 13 I was babysitting for the neighbors.

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