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what if anything can we do
There's no "we" here. This is your son's business.

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disrupting the child's life
"Disrupting"? You're a real piece of work.

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the child has no idea who her mother is.
It's about time she did.

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The child has lived with me and my husband for the last 7 years with the exception of the brief visitation between the age of 1 and 2
Which gives you absolutely no rights to anything that has to do with your son's relationship with mother and child.

And you know what, Granny, in a few years there is a distinct possibility that the Mom will get physical custody, your son will have visitation and pay child support.