Quote Quoting BossMommy88
View Post
Some of the responses to mothers on this forum are outrageous and downright delusional. So I should force my children into a relationship with a meth addict who has a high probability of relapsing again because this isn’t the first time. Not every woman knows what they’re getting into with these deadbeat men it’s not like they meet you and say “Hi I have a hidden drug and mental health problems. Let’s make babies.” Some men are VERY manipulative and VERY good and pretending to be someone they aren’t for YEARS. My children are happy, healthy they have an amazing father figure in their lives. What’s the point of forcing this stranger on them? Gradually introducing him back into their lives through supervised visitation is the clear best option here. As far as “deserving” child support I stand by that 100%. I make over 70k per year and still live poor so that these kids can have the world. It’s time me and my children get to live comfortably as we deserve.

Can’t really poison a relationship that doesn’t yet exist... And the biggest problem is who knows if he is here to stay he’s been in and out of prison all his life high chance in a few years he’ll be back.

And I really don’t like the attitude of “Well, you chose him.” Well, I didn’t know all this about him at that time. If I have the opportunity NOW to keep my children safe from a reckless suicidal meth head then I’m going to do everything in my power to protect them from that. Doesn’t matter if he’s their “father” or not. If he swears he’s “reformed” then he needs to prove it.

That’s how these kids on the news end up dead. No one will step up and cut a parent out whenever they’ve shown they’re not mentally stable.
Let's make this easy:

1) You chose to have kids with him. You did that. You. Not me, not anyone here or anywhere else. You. You have have found an "amazing father figure" later but that's moot.

2) As the father he has rights AND obligations. They are not connected, however. Parenthood is not pay to play.

3) If the father has been in and out of prison all his life then you should've had all of the warning you needed. See point 1.

4) He's not a stranger, he's the father. He has the right to be the father and you don't really have a say in that. See point 1. Again.

5) Child support may indeed improve your standard of living by way of improving the children's but it's not for you. It's for them.

6) Supervised visitation may be the beginning but it's not the end if he keeps it together and you need to make peace with that. If you try to create distance between the children and their father you are the one that may well pay the price.

7) Cut the dramatics and histrionics in your last sentence. This is just nonsense.

8) You may not like the attitude of "you chose him." but, well, you did (point 1...again and again and again). You are stuck with him and you need to come up with a way to make peace with it. You will be compelled to comply with a parenting plan/custody plan and child support order. It will eventually become more time than you like if he stays clean and continues on the straight and narrow.

The single mom sacred cow doesn't impress me. Mom's are just as capable of damaging their children, if not more so and in more insidious ways. So, you don't like what I have to say, well, no one ever said life is fair.