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  1. #1
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    Oct 2019
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    Default Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    My question involves juvenile law in the State of: CA

    My daughter is in high school. A boy in one of her classes seems to be emotionally disturbed and has behaviour issues including making inappropriate comments to other students. He is being bullied by some students and is also bullying students like my daughter and two other girls in the ciass. He repeatedly calls my daughter by a wrong name, (example, referring to her as "Jane" when her name is "Mary") & telling my daughter that he hopes she dies. This freaks me out. Today, he "fake apologized" to my daughter and asked if they could be friends. When she accepted the apology and said that they could be friends, he laughed loudly and said that he hopes that she and all her friends die... When she said he would also be one of those who dies, he told her, "except me, of course!"

    I have already contacted administrators at her high school and my daughter talked to the school counselor about this boy two days ago. The school's response is that they are aware of the kid's issues and are working with him but I take these comments as a threat, esp in light of all the school shootings in recent times and given his emotional disturbances.

    What are my options here? I understand that this boy needs help but my priority is my own child's safety and the safety of the other kids in the school. I don't think they are taking him seriously and he seems to also have suicidal tendencies. Please help. What are my daughter's rights and what can we do? This boy, my daughter and the kids he's been threatening are all 14 / 15 years old.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    Quote Quoting School
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    My question involves juvenile law in the State of: CA

    My daughter is in high school. A boy in one of her classes seems to be emotionally disturbed and has behaviour issues including making inappropriate comments to other students. He is being bullied by some students and is also bullying students like my daughter and two other girls in the ciass. He repeatedly calls my daughter by a wrong name, (example, referring to her as "Jane" when her name is "Mary") & telling my daughter that he hopes she dies. This freaks me out. Today, he "fake apologized" to my daughter and asked if they could be friends. When she accepted the apology and said that they could be friends, he laughed loudly and said that he hopes that she and all her friends die... When she said he would also be one of those who dies, he told her, "except me, of course!"

    I have already contacted administrators at her high school and my daughter talked to the school counselor about this boy two days ago. The school's response is that they are aware of the kid's issues and are working with him but I take these comments as a threat, esp in light of all the school shootings in recent times and given his emotional disturbances.

    What are my options here? I understand that this boy needs help but my priority is my own child's safety and the safety of the other kids in the school. I don't think they are taking him seriously and he seems to also have suicidal tendencies. Please help. What are my daughter's rights and what can we do? This boy, my daughter and the kids he's been threatening are all 14 / 15 years old.

    Thank you.
    You could make a police report about the threats, that might possibly cause the school to take things more seriously. You could also get a lawyer involved to talk to the school to make them understand how seriously you take the situation. You can also escalate things being the school administration to the superintendent's office.

    The school is in a tough position because he is also being bullied and because his rights matter as well. However the safety of the students should be the primary focus. Basically what you need to do is make as much "noise" as possible about the situation without going on a witch hunt.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    If it were one of my children. I would contact the police Now. This child needs professional help that is beyond what the school can offer. It is common for schools and others to underestimate the risks mentally ill students can pose to others.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    You could make a police report about the threats, that might possibly cause the school to take things more seriously. You could also get a lawyer involved to talk to the school to make them understand how seriously you take the situation. You can also escalate things being the school administration to the superintendent's office.

    The school is in a tough position because he is also being bullied and because his rights matter as well. However the safety of the students should be the primary focus. Basically what you need to do is make as much "noise" as possible about the situation without going on a witch hunt.
    Is there a police officer assigned to the school? Can you meet with him/her?

    Does all of this occur on school property? I definitely would involve the police if he contacts her outside of school.

    Can the school change her schedule so she is not in classes with him?

    Have you met with the parents of the other students he is bullying to discuss what they have or are doing? If they are not putting the school on notice as well, the school may not understand the seriousness of the problem.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    I have a question. There is no right or wrong answer; the question is not intended to make light of your concerns - not in the slightest. It's to gauge the situation and will affect my response.

    I am not there; you are. More to the point, your daughter is. Does she believe that she is in danger? That he intends harm to her? Or does she think that he's just throwing off stupid comments and making noise, but doesn't actually mean to do anything?

    Unfortunately, either is possible these days. I am definitely not saying you are wrong to be concerned - you're not. But before I comment further, I would like to know the answer to my question.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    Quote Quoting cbg
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    I have a question. There is no right or wrong answer; the question is not intended to make light of your concerns - not in the slightest. It's to gauge the situation and will affect my response.

    I am not there; you are. More to the point, your daughter is. Does she believe that she is in danger? That he intends harm to her? Or does she think that he's just throwing off stupid comments and making noise, but doesn't actually mean to do anything?

    Unfortunately, either is possible these days. I am definitely not saying you are wrong to be concerned - you're not. But before I comment further, I would like to know the answer to my question.


    cbg, please do.not take this the wrong way. But how often have we heard students and others say they did not believe a student was serious ? They thought the threats were just the student blowing off steam. It appears the daughter of the OP is a kind and forgiving teenager. If she does not believe she and/or others might be in danger. Can her judgment really be trusted.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    I completely understand that, Mercy, but I'd still like to get the assessment of someone with boots on the ground before making any additional comments. It's very easy to jump to conclusions. Is that okay with you?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    I'm wondering if this really constitutes a threat. "I wish you would die" is not the same as "I am going to kill you". One is a passive statement of a desired state and the other is indicative of pursuing action. Try this on for size: "I wish I could fly" and "I'm going to jump off this building because I can fly".

    I recognize that I perspective is not popular in this day and age but this just sounds like some kid being a wanker, not someone meaning to kill.
    "Where do those stairs go?"
    "They go up!"

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Protecting Student from Threatening Classmate

    Which is what I'm trying to get at.

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