Advice - Disability - Orientation - Mocking

[melts05]

I am hetrosexual male with a disabling condition and live alone. I have difficulty speaking and I am intensely sensitive to taunts, I do not have a family and never been married. Few years ago my boss mocked me as gay as I was single. I left the job and started a new one in which I told everyone I was married and had children as people in workplace they like to talk about their family life, how they spend their weekend with kids etc. This new workplace, in HR forms I stated accurately that I am single and no kids. This new job I faced a new kind of discrimination. I made the mistake and complaint to HR of discrimination. Immediately after my situation worsened and I was later terminated. I have a great attorney who is helping me, he told me to tell my story accurately and admit anything wrong I might have done. So I up front disclosed on my own that I have not been married and have no kids. My employers attorney are now claiming (as I told them) as 'after acquired evidence' that I had lied during my employment and sought benefits (which I did not) that this would be a cause for termination. I know the 100% truth, which I disclosed up front in plain language. What I did, is this a lie? How do I articulate myself?

[flyingron]

You should be talking to your attorney about this.

[Shadowbunny]

I am hetrosexual male with a disabling condition and live alone. I have difficulty speaking and I am intensely sensitive to taunts, I do not have a family and never been married. Few years ago my boss mocked me as gay as I was single. I left the job and started a new one in which I told everyone I was married and had children as people in workplace they like to talk about their family life, how they spend their weekend with kids etc. This new workplace, in HR forms I stated accurately that I am single and no kids. This new job I faced a new kind of discrimination. I made the mistake and complaint to HR of discrimination. Immediately after my situation worsened and I was later terminated. I have a great attorney who is helping me, he told me to tell my story accurately and admit anything wrong I might have done. So I up front disclosed on my own that I have not been married and have no kids. My employers attorney are now claiming (as I told them) as 'after acquired evidence' that I had lied during my employment and sought benefits (which I did not) that this would be a cause for termination. I know the 100% truth, which I disclosed up front in plain language. What I did, is this a lie? How do I articulate myself?

What US State are you in?

[hr for me]

what was the "New kind of discrimination" at the new workplace that you complained about?

Who and when did you tell "everyone" that you were married with kids? Did you get/take any specific benefits (i.e. leave early to pick up "kids" at school or attend "school events" for example)?

Why did they originally tell you that they terminated your employment? That wasn't the cause at the time if they didn't know about it. Problem is now they have something to negotiate with against you on this case. You've lied before (and admitted it) and how can you prove you aren't lying now (yes, it's a tough question, but character can matter...)

In the end though, you should probably only be speaking about this with your attorney that you have....

[melts05]

Could you please tell me how does the timing (of when I told) impact any of this?? But to answer your question, I told this at the beginning of this specific job on which I was discriminated because of my disability.

I certainly did not take any specific benefit for a family/child. I appreciate examples you quote as it makes it easy to understand. I used this story on social occasions so I dont get bullied, but just to err on side of caution, would taking 'personal time off' that I am entitled already for no reasons, but if somewhere I had put reason as 'sick child', would that count against me??

My employer said job was eliminated due to business reasons, budget cut.

I live in Nebraska.

I respect my Attorney, she has asked me to state everything as it is, and I have done exactly that, and I feel at peace. However I am asking this for my understanding, and appreciate inputs from this forum, since you perhaps are a person like me, and I might relate to your inputs.

what was the "New kind of discrimination" at the new workplace that you complained about?

Who and when did you tell "everyone" that you were married with kids? Did you get/take any specific benefits (i.e. leave early to pick up "kids" at school or attend "school events" for example)?

Why did they originally tell you that they terminated your employment? That wasn't the cause at the time if they didn't know about it. Problem is now they have something to negotiate with against you on this case. You've lied before (and admitted it) and how can you prove you aren't lying now (yes, it's a tough question, but character can matter...)

In the end though, you should probably only be speaking about this with your attorney that you have....

[hr for me]

"would taking 'personal time off' that I am entitled already for no reasons, but if somewhere I had put reason as 'sick child', would that count against me??"

Yes, that would be fraudulent and a good reason to term since you had lied, but if they didn't find out about this until AFTER your termination, it's not the reason you were terminated. And really isn't part of the discussions, but again could show character issues in any kind of a trial/settlement. It basically could hurt your discrimination case a bit. But it might be information that could get thrown out.

as to the reason, were other employees also eliminated for business reasons/budget cuts around the same time?

Was your disability hidden such that they wouldn't have seen it in the interview process? Did you ask for reasonable accommodations? You say you made a complaint of discrimination, so I am curious as to exactly what you mean by that.

In the end you have to prove you were terminated specifically because of your disabilities and not for a pretextual reason....