Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    3

    Default Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    I have been with my bf for 2 years. His lease was up and he wanted to get a larger place so that we could all move in together. I sold my house house and put everything in storage. my BF is divorced and has 3 kids. He could not qualify for the lease without my income. We found a place, applied and were approved. I paid the deposits and thought everything was fine and was gearing up to move in. The day after the lease was signed he informed me he just realized his divorce decree states he cannot have anyone of the opposite sex that is not related by blood or marriage stay the night when the kids are there. He has primary custody of the kids so it means I can only stay at the house 10 days a month at most.

    Im not sure if he was aware of this beforehand or if he just realized it later. I look at this as a problem he has with his ex and its not grounds to keep me from moving in but he seems to think his divorce overrides my tenant rights. I have not been staying at the house and have been staying with friends. I know this isn't a reason we can break the lease.

    My real question is should I just put my foot down, move in and and force him out or let him deal with the consequences in court with his Ex? I can afford the house on my own as I make 5 times his income. I just find it hard to believe his divorce decree has anything to do with my tenant rights as he says.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    237

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    I have never heard of such a clause in a divorce decree. Why would anyone agree to such a clause?

    I suspect your BF is being less than honest with you. I would insist on seeing the divorce papers.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,663

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    Quote Quoting irishqirl
    View Post
    I have been with my bf for 2 years. His lease was up and he wanted to get a larger place so that we could all move in together. I sold my house house and put everything in storage. my BF is divorced and has 3 kids. He could not qualify for the lease without my income. We found a place, applied and were approved. I paid the deposits and thought everything was fine and was gearing up to move in. The day after the lease was signed he informed me he just realized his divorce decree states he cannot have anyone of the opposite sex that is not related by blood or marriage stay the night when the kids are there. He has primary custody of the kids so it means I can only stay at the house 10 days a month at most.

    Im not sure if he was aware of this beforehand or if he just realized it later. I look at this as a problem he has with his ex and its not grounds to keep me from moving in but he seems to think his divorce overrides my tenant rights. I have not been staying at the house and have been staying with friends. I know this isn't a reason we can break the lease.

    My real question is should I just put my foot down, move in and and force him out or let him deal with the consequences in court with his Ex? I can afford the house on my own as I make 5 times his income. I just find it hard to believe his divorce decree has anything to do with my tenant rights as he says.
    You should put your foot down and move it. He needs to deal with the consequences. You legally have every right to live in the home and he has no right to keep you out of it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,145

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    yes, this can be a clause in divorce decrees. He obviously agreed to it at the time. Now he has to deal with the consequences (and unfortunately he brought you into the situation). To be truly honest, it sounds like he played you to get into the lease. Please tell me that he is at least the one paying the monthly rental payment!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    17,212

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    Quote Quoting irishqirl
    View Post
    I just find it hard to believe his divorce decree has anything to do with my tenant rights as he says.
    It's possible that he scammed you into helping him qualify for the lease and now he doesn't need you anymore.

    That you make 5 times more money than he does says a lot about his boyfriend qualifications in the first place, but that's on you.

    His divorce decree is public record. If you want to read it go to the courthouse where he got his divorce and read it.

    And I fully agree with this:

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    You should put your foot down and move it. He needs to deal with the consequences. You legally have every right to live in the home and he has no right to keep you out of it.
    Though I think llworking meant "move in" and not "move it" as in move your foot. Unless he meant move your foot right up to your boyfriend's butt, which is not exactly a bad idea either.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,663

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    [/quote]Though I think llworking meant "move in" and not "move it" as in move your foot. Unless he meant move your foot right up to your boyfriend's butt, which is not exactly a bad idea either.[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I meant "move in" although I like the other analogy as well.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    Quote Quoting adjusterjack
    View Post
    It's possible that he scammed you into helping him qualify for the lease and now he doesn't need you anymore.

    That you make 5 times more money than he does says a lot about his boyfriend qualifications in the first place, but that's on you.

    His divorce decree is public record. If you want to read it go to the courthouse where he got his divorce and read it.

    And I fully agree with this:



    Though I think llworking meant "move in" and not "move it" as in move your foot. Unless he meant move your foot right up to your boyfriend's butt, which is not exactly a bad idea either.
    Thanks for the reply. A little history, I didn't disclose my income to him outside of my salary, I didn't go into my investment income or other inherited income as it shouldn't apply to the next marriage so he wasn't really aware of the 5 times income. I only visited when his kids were with their mother previously and this was supposed to be the point we were all together as one before getting married, I didn't even meet the kids until about 5 months ago. I do have a child but he is now 18 its irrelevant to my divorce. The BF was originally really pushing for me to buy another house but I stated I wouldn't do that until marriage so the lease was a compromise. We also couldn't agree on the amount of house to purchase, I wanted cheaper, he wanted something around 800k because his kids needed something nice after going through a divorce (according to him). He doesn't want to feel rushed into marriage however which should be a red flag I guess. There are many other red flags that scream narcissist/BPD. I have not seen a copy of the divorce. I tried to look up/download/purchase a copy of the divorce but the state of SC seems to only release these to the people listed in the divorce, the lawyers and spouses of the people listed in the divorce according to their website. Ive been loaded up with a guilt trip about how he could lose his kids if I show up and he cant afford the ex taking him back to court.

    I think I'm going to push the issue and see where it falls. Im sure he will play the guilt and victim card but Im already paying for this place (he also pays part of the rent), writing all this down and rereading it, the whole thing screams manipulation.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    295

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    Quote Quoting irishqirl
    View Post
    Thanks for the reply. A little history, I didn't disclose my income to him outside of my salary, I didn't go into my investment income or other inherited income as it shouldn't apply to the next marriage so he wasn't really aware of the 5 times income. I only visited when his kids were with their mother previously and this was supposed to be the point we were all together as one before getting married, I didn't even meet the kids until about 5 months ago. I do have a child but he is now 18 its irrelevant to my divorce. The BF was originally really pushing for me to buy another house but I stated I wouldn't do that until marriage so the lease was a compromise. We also couldn't agree on the amount of house to purchase, I wanted cheaper, he wanted something around 800k because his kids needed something nice after going through a divorce (according to him). He doesn't want to feel rushed into marriage however which should be a red flag I guess. There are many other red flags that scream narcissist/BPD. I have not seen a copy of the divorce. I tried to look up/download/purchase a copy of the divorce but the state of SC seems to only release these to the people listed in the divorce, the lawyers and spouses of the people listed in the divorce according to their website. Ive been loaded up with a guilt trip about how he could lose his kids if I show up and he cant afford the ex taking him back to court.

    I think I'm going to push the issue and see where it falls. Im sure he will play the guilt and victim card but Im already paying for this place (he also pays part of the rent), writing all this down and rereading it, the whole thing screams manipulation.
    See the part in bold? He knew about the "no paramour" clause or you would have been spending nights at his place while he had his kids. I think you need to re-evaluate this relationship before you end up with bigger legal issues than this lease.

    You did not sign his divorce decree. If your bf's ex fusses about you two living together, he can move out.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6,453

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    Quote Quoting irishqirl
    View Post
    I have been with my bf for 2 years. His lease was up and he wanted to get a larger place so that we could all move in together. I sold my house house and put everything in storage. my BF is divorced and has 3 kids. He could not qualify for the lease without my income. We found a place, applied and were approved. I paid the deposits and thought everything was fine and was gearing up to move in. The day after the lease was signed he informed me he just realized his divorce decree states he cannot have anyone of the opposite sex that is not related by blood or marriage stay the night when the kids are there. He has primary custody of the kids so it means I can only stay at the house 10 days a month at most.

    Im not sure if he was aware of this beforehand or if he just realized it later. I look at this as a problem he has with his ex and its not grounds to keep me from moving in but he seems to think his divorce overrides my tenant rights. I have not been staying at the house and have been staying with friends. I know this isn't a reason we can break the lease.

    My real question is should I just put my foot down, move in and and force him out or let him deal with the consequences in court with his Ex? I can afford the house on my own as I make 5 times his income. I just find it hard to believe his divorce decree has anything to do with my tenant rights as he says.
    There are a few facts that you did not tell us that could have a significant impact on what might happen if the two of you move in together.

    First, you did not tell us your state so we can't cite specific state statutes or case law. Second, you did not tell us the year of the final decree or the age of the children.

    I have to guess that the children are in there teens at least based on the wording you posted (in bold above). I have searched through the case law for all 50 states that might refer to a morality clause in a final decree or a morality issue involving cohabitation.

    his divorce decree states he cannot have anyone of the opposite sex that is not related by blood or marriage stay the night when the kids are there
    But it would be OK for him to cohabitate with someone of the same sex? Think about that. Where does the moral imperative lie? What was the purpose of the clause in the first place?

    The courts have been ruling on the side that sexual preference is not a determining factor in child custody cases. The point being that a morality clause in a decree can easily be overcome.

    You can't do anything to change the custody order. It is your BF that has to take action. I would suggest that if he is unwilling to see an attorney and file a motion for changed circumstances to modify the order, that he is being disingenuous and you need to evaluate your relationship with him.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    19,246

    Default Re: Lease with Boyfriend but His Divorce Has a Morality Clause

    It's not the divorce but the custody order. My brother had a similar clause put in his case because his wife was sleeping around before the divorce. It sort of bit him because years later when he was engaged to his new wife, she had to "disappear" when his daughter was over for visits. The fiancee came to our house for a few weekends prior to the actual marriage.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Custody and Visitation Issues: What Acts Will Violate a Morality Clause
    By trcopelandjr in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 06-09-2014, 07:23 PM
  2. Establishing an Order: Negotiating the Terms of a Morality Clause
    By readytoleave in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-28-2014, 11:30 AM
  3. Establishing an Order: How to Word a Morality Clause
    By shortie in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 07-24-2013, 08:43 AM
  4. Florida Morality Clause
    By kelli79 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-20-2010, 09:21 AM
  5. Morality Clause Violation
    By mandamoo32 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-21-2009, 06:57 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources