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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    12

    Default Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    My question involves a person located in the state of California

    I have a (presumed) half-sister from my Father's previous marriage, before his marriage to my Mother. My father has long since passed.

    Recently I moved in with my 85-year-old mother who is suffering from Alzheimer's and requires full-time care. While cleaning I found a Will and Trust. The sister had secretly arranged to bring an attorney to my Mother's home and had it drafted with my Mother's participation. My mother claims to have no recollection of it. The Trust names my sister as the POA, executor, and all other positions of authority. Furthermore, the will named my sister as a benefactor. My Mother very clearly and emphatically stated that she intended to leave her estate between myself and my two brothers evenly. She was extremely upset.

    I informed both of my brothers of the trust, neither of them was aware of its existence and both expressed disbelief at my sister's actions. We had an attorney come and draft a new Will and Trust, removing my sister entirely as my Mother wished. Shortly after that time, the sister mysteriously stopped visiting. Frankly, I hoped to never hear from her again.

    This isn't the first time this sister has violated my family's boundaries. A few years earlier, before I moved in, she attempted to coerce my Mother into housing and presumably caring for my sister's disabled mentally handicapped niece, who is a total stranger. At the time my Mother was already needing to be cared for and had no capacity to care for a disabled and mentally handicapped stranger.

    About a year ago the sister contacted me requesting that I give my Mother's car to my sister's anonymous friends, for free. My sister is married and owns a million-dollar home, while my Mother survives on a $1000 a month pension.

    All of these events are recorded as the correspondence was mainly via email. Recently, the sister has begun attempting to contact me and my Mother again. My Mother and I have no desire to see or correspond with my sister ever again. I believe I need to file a report with social services and/or the police detailing all these facts, and if possible obtain a restraining order.

    Can anyone suggest where to start? Should I go directly to social services? Should I file a police report first?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,984

    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    Quote Quoting JackDean
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    My question involves a person located in the state of California

    I have a (presumed) half-sister from my Father's previous marriage, before his marriage to my Mother. My father has long since passed.

    Recently I moved in with my 85-year-old mother who is suffering from Alzheimer's and requires full-time care. While cleaning I found a Will and Trust. The sister had secretly arranged to bring an attorney to my Mother's home and had it drafted with my Mother's participation. My mother claims to have no recollection of it. The Trust names my sister as the POA, executor, and all other positions of authority. Furthermore, the will named my sister as a benefactor. My Mother very clearly and emphatically stated that she intended to leave her estate between myself and my two brothers evenly. She was extremely upset.

    I informed both of my brothers of the trust, neither of them was aware of its existence and both expressed disbelief at my sister's actions. We had an attorney come and draft a new Will and Trust, removing my sister entirely as my Mother wished. Shortly after that time, the sister mysteriously stopped visiting. Frankly, I hoped to never hear from her again.

    This isn't the first time this sister has violated my family's boundaries. A few years earlier, before I moved in, she attempted to coerce my Mother into housing and presumably caring for my sister's disabled mentally handicapped niece, who is a total stranger. At the time my Mother was already needing to be cared for and had no capacity to care for a disabled and mentally handicapped stranger.

    About a year ago the sister contacted me requesting that I give my Mother's car to my sister's anonymous friends, for free. My sister is married and owns a million-dollar home, while my Mother survives on a $1000 a month pension.

    All of these events are recorded as the correspondence was mainly via email. Recently, the sister has begun attempting to contact me and my Mother again. My Mother and I have no desire to see or correspond with my sister ever again. I believe I need to file a report with social services and/or the police detailing all these facts, and if possible obtain a restraining order.

    Can anyone suggest where to start? Should I go directly to social services? Should I file a police report first?
    You are living with your mother, correct? I see no reason why you need to get social services or the police involved. You are there to protect your mother from your sister.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    6,701

    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    Quote Quoting JackDean
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    I informed both of my brothers of the trust, neither of them was aware of its existence and both expressed disbelief at my sister's actions. We had an attorney come and draft a new Will and Trust, removing my sister entirely as my Mother wished. Shortly after that time, the sister mysteriously stopped visiting. Frankly, I hoped to never hear from her again.
    How would your sister come to have knowledge of the new will and trust?

    I see no need to report this to anyone. You corrected your sister's efforts and are now on top of the matter.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
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    2,065

    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    Quote Quoting JackDean
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    Can anyone suggest where to start? Should I go directly to social services? Should I file a police report first?
    I'm not sure I understand your goal. Your half-sister is a legal stranger to your mother. What is it you're seeking to accomplish?

  5. #5
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    Nov 2013
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    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    I think OP wants to now punish the sister in some way. Seems pretty obvious.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    12

    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    Thanks for all replies. As I stated I was hoping and expecting that she would disappear after her attempt to obtain control of my Mother's estate was discovered. If it was some revenge motive, I would have pursued it at the time when she was basically caught red handed. We have a large extended family and I didn't want to create unnecessary drama. Unfortunately with these types of people it seems that unless they feel the threat of exposure they tend to persist in their behaviour. Both my Mother and I are surprised that she has the nerve to show up as if nothing happened.

    Since I am my Mother's legal guardian I am considering just sending the sister a email detailing that under the circumstances I don't want her contacting or visiting my Mother or myself. What worries me is that she is extremely cunning and may try to turn any statement against me. For this reason I think it is prudent to have a official record of the events.

  7. #7
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    Oct 2016
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    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    Then you should not do it by email. A letter sent certified with a return receipt would be more in order.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
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    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    Quote Quoting JackDean
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    Since I am my Mother's legal guardian I am considering just sending the sister a email detailing that under the circumstances I don't want her contacting or visiting my Mother or myself. What worries me is that she is extremely cunning and may try to turn any statement against me. For this reason I think it is prudent to have a official record of the events.
    You sending your sister a letter is no more of an official record that is enforceable than I sending her the letter. However, if you are her legally appointed guardian and you send that letter and she still comes by, you may have the grounds for a restraining order.

    I would keep the letter succinct to the topic. You are your mother's legal guardian and she (the sister) is not to visit or you will pursue a restraining order. Don't get into the history of what transpired. She knows what transpired.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    15,984

    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    Quote Quoting JackDean
    View Post
    Thanks for all replies. As I stated I was hoping and expecting that she would disappear after her attempt to obtain control of my Mother's estate was discovered. If it was some revenge motive, I would have pursued it at the time when she was basically caught red handed. We have a large extended family and I didn't want to create unnecessary drama. Unfortunately with these types of people it seems that unless they feel the threat of exposure they tend to persist in their behaviour. Both my Mother and I are surprised that she has the nerve to show up as if nothing happened.

    Since I am my Mother's legal guardian I am considering just sending the sister a email detailing that under the circumstances I don't want her contacting or visiting my Mother or myself. What worries me is that she is extremely cunning and may try to turn any statement against me. For this reason I think it is prudent to have a official record of the events.
    Turn it against you how? If you are your mother's legal guardian you have the right to determine with whom she has contact. If you tell her to stay away there is nothing that she can turn against you.

    However, I agree with the other response that an email is insufficient to communicate such.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    12

    Default Re: Half Sister Attempting to Exploit My Mother

    How would your sister come to have knowledge of the new will and trust?
    This is a very good question which I have been pondering. Probably ill advised but we used the same attorney who drafted the original will and trust to draft the revised one. It was a bit odd in that it took 4 months for him to complete after we had completed the consultation. The attorney claimed to have heart trouble to explain the delay, I had to call him dozens of times to follow through. I have a suspicion that he was my sister's attorney and that she found out through him. I don't have evidence that she found out other than that she abruptly stopped visiting for over a year which was extremely out of the ordinary. She had been visiting on a weekly basis uninvited. I never mentioned it.


    Turn it against you how? If you are your mother's legal guardian you have the right to determine with whom she has contact.
    I suppose I am hyper vigilant here. Let me put it this way, she is wealthy and quite shrewd but to my knowledge has never had a career. Many years ago she asked me about suing distant relatives because she felt entitled to an estate she wasn't a benefactor to.


    You sending your sister a letter is no more of an official record that is enforceable than I sending her the letter. However, if you are her legally appointed guardian and you send that letter and she still comes by, you may have the grounds for a restraining order.

    I would keep the letter succinct to the topic. You are your mother's legal guardian and she (the sister) is not to visit or you will pursue a restraining order. Don't get into the history of what transpired. She knows what transpired.
    This is excellent advice I will take it.

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