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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    246

    Default Re: Step-Parent Rights

    OP, what would your daughter do regarding her new spouse? Would she exclude him/her from participation in the same activities from which she expects the child's father's new spouse to be excluded. What is expected of one new partner should apply to the other's new partner. She should be careful of her demands because they may come back to haunt her.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,289

    Default Re: Step-Parent Rights

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I am not talking about Parent B demanding that the stepparent have nothing to do with the child without Parent B's permission. I am talking about the stepparent having enough respect and courtesy to NOT do certain things without making sure that both parents are on board with it. In the first scenario Parent B is being overly controlling. In the second scenario the stepparent is directly causing better co-parenting by voluntarily showing respect and courtesy.

    I will give a prime example from my own life. When my daughter was 12 my ex's girlfriend (who worked in a hair salon) colored my daughter's hair after I had expressly told my daughter that she couldn't dye her hair. I felt that she was too young to start that cycle. When I expressed my displeasure to my ex, his girlfriend seriously apologized to me and stated she would never have done it if she knew I had said no. Her apology set a tone between her and I of mutual respect. It would have been better if she had checked with me first, but the apology made up for it.
    That's completely different than what is going on - but if your ex gave permission than that's technically all that's needed depending on your situation. If that was my daughter - well my ex has no legal or physical custody. I have sole custody and he has no parenting plan - it's my discretion. So if he allowed some "gf" to color my daughter's hair I would be pissed and he would have been wrong as he has no right to make that decision. That's my situation though, not everyone's.

    When I was with him before we were married, his daughter was 9 at the time. She asked me if I'd make her a Facebook. I said I don't know we need to ask your dad. He said he didn't care. I didn't think it was the best idea but I did it. Her mom sent me a message and read me the riot act. I told her I was sorry but he said I could make her one. But I said I'll delete the account and I deactivated it. Here's the hypocrisy of his other ex though - when their son was 9 a few years ago she let him make a Facebook. Their daughter asked her why he was allowed one when she couldn't get one at 9. Her mom said "You had one." She said no you got mad when (my name here) did it and it got deactivated. She has one since 12 but she never uses it - she's on Instagram more (Facebook is for old people now I guess). I did overstep a little but her dad gave me permission to make it for her.

    With the HIPAA authorization, it just means that the hospital or doctor office can release information to those people who are on it. For example, with my daughter at hear daycares, I have signed forms that allows them to have access to her medical information since she has had to get medical plans at the daycares. I have also authorized when she was in Early Intervention to have access to her records. That didn't give them the ability to take her to appointments or to the hospital. It just let the doctor's office or hospital know these people have permission to her medical history. That's it.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    246

    Default Re: Step-Parent Rights

    Granny was the OP. My question for her is whether she ever took the grandchild to the doctor or was in the room with her daughter and child during a visit - including in the ER. A stepparent has more reason to be involved with the health care of a child than a grandparent.

    I certainly hope granny is not on the HIPPA or any other medical information or care form if her daughter does not want stepmother on the same.

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