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  1. #1

    Default Modification of Custody Order in Mo

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri

    My children's father and I split up 3 1/2 years ago and we currently have joint custody with me being the primary/residential parent, he has them every Wednesday and every other weekend. We have 4 children (boy 15, boy 11, girl 8 and boy 6) Since we split he has lived with several different family members with the most recent being his cousins house for the past year. When my kids are with him my 6 year old son and 8 year old daughter sleeps in bed with him and the 15 & 11 year old boys on an air mattress on the floor next to him. He is an alcoholic and my children mention how he is always drinking around them and my 6 yr old mentions he will always have to go inside to get him two beers. He is a narcissist and I am dealing with mind warping, brain washing and parent alienation. I know this is hard to prove in a court setting (the alienation and mind warping) but it is getting worse, he talks horribly about me and my husband in front of the kids and speaks to them about adult matters. My oldest stated he does not even want to go back to his dads after this past weekend and told me he is concerned that his 11 year old brother is depressed.

    I am seeking help and am getting ready to take him to court with my lawyer suggesting counseling for my kids. I know this is going to be hard to prove but is the living environment even ok?
    im getting conflicting information which brought me here...I've been speaking with the same lawyer who helped with the original custody agreement and meet with him on the 30th. He has advised that the fact that their father resides in a basement of his cousins house and that our 2 younger children sleep in his bed and the other two children of puberty age sleep on an air mattress on the floor next to the others is not a proper living environment for the kids. I get that bring a beer is not illegal but like I said he is an alcoholic and drives with them while he has been drinking and that is all he does when my kids are with him. I'm getting told by 2 different lawyers that the living conditions are ok then the other one says absolutely not.
    Thank You!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
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    Default Re: Modification of Custody Order in Mo

    Given that you have an attorney, I'm a little unsure why you're seeking opinions from anonymous strangers on the internet. Nevertheless...

    Quote Quoting akb0925
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    is the living environment even ok?
    As described, "the living environment" consists of a 6 and 8 year old sleeping in a bed of unknown size with the father and the teen and pre-teen kids sharing an air mattress. By itself, that situation creates no legal issue. Nor is there anything inherently problematic about a child of any age bringing beer cans or bottles to a parent.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Modification of Custody Order in Mo

    My bad.... im getting conflicting information which brought me here...I've been speaking with the same lawyer who helped with the original custody agreement and meet with him on the 30th. He has advised that the fact that their father resides in a basement of his cousins house and that our 2 younger children sleep in his bed and the other two children of puberty age sleep on an air mattress on the floor next to the others is not a proper living environment for the kids. I get that bring a beer is not illegal but like I said he is an alcoholic and drives with them while he has been drinking and that is all he does when my kids are with him. I'm getting told by 2 different lawyers that the living conditions are ok then the other one says absolutely not. This is why I am here to answer your question

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    246

    Default Re: Modification of Custody Order in Mo

    Be careful throwing around psychiatric diagnoses for him especially if they have not been made by a medical professional. Your other claims of alienation, ... are also troubling.

    You should not have needed your attorney tell you to get your children into counseling; you should have taken the initiative long ago. If you suspect that one of the children is depressed, you should be in the doctor's office and not on the internet.

    If you are so concerned about the sleeping arrangements, why have you not given the children airbeds to carry with them on their overnights? Where do you expect him to live? After all, he is paying CS for 4 children and who knows what other debts resulting from your split. You have your husband to help pay for a place for you all to live.

    While he may be acting inappropriately (you only have reports from your children). you are also neglecting their welfare so please get out your health insurance provider list and start looking for counselors in your area. Your attorney may have a list of ones respected by the court if you intend to pursue a custody modification on the basis you described.

  5. #5
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Modification of Custody Order in Mo

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
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    Be careful throwing around psychiatric diagnoses for him especially if they have not been made by a medical professional. Your other claims of alienation, ... are also troubling.

    You should not have needed your attorney tell you to get your children into counseling; you should have taken the initiative long ago. If you suspect that one of the children is depressed, you should be in the doctor's office and not on the internet.

    If you are so concerned about the sleeping arrangements, why have you not given the children airbeds to carry with them on their overnights? Where do you expect him to live? After all, he is paying CS for 4 children and who knows what other debts resulting from your split. You have your husband to help pay for a place for you all to live.

    While he may be acting inappropriately (you only have reports from your children). you are also neglecting their welfare so please get out your health insurance provider list and start looking for counselors in your area. Your attorney may have a list of ones respected by the court if you intend to pursue a custody modification on the basis you described.
    If they have joint legal custody then dad has to agree to counseling for the kids. Do you expect that dad will agree in this scenario.

    Do you have knowledge that the room where dad and the kids sleep has room for two air mattresses?

  6. #6
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    Jul 2018
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    Default Re: Modification of Custody Order in Mo

    Quote Quoting akb0925
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    im getting conflicting information
    Sometimes lawyers disagree -- especially when the issue is whether something is or isn't "ok" or "proper." If you don't like what's happening, you can ask the court to enter an appropriate modification of the existing custody/visitation order.

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