Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    8

    Question Divorce

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: NY.

    Situation...married 14 years with 2 kids. I have been unfaithful and want to leave the marriage for my current girlfriend. I make substantially more than my wife. Currently i earn about 85K a year and she brings home 4500 a year. I am going to get hammered by child support but also likely alimony from what i read. I am seriously wondering how it will even be possible to live bringing home such a small amount after taxes which the courts conveniently leave out of the calculations as if that money miraculously appears in my pocket instead of going to the government. In addition we own a house valued at about 160K and still owe 90K on it. Retirement funds are about 70K.

    How badly will i get screwed as the non custodial parent and how much will i be looking at paying with alimomy and child support each month?

    The system is broken when the average cost to raise a child is 10K a year and I'm paying double that and in addition paying alimony. The system should be focused on supporting a child not providing a source of income for the other person and basically allowing them to do nothing and get a bigger share of the income than the person working. Its why i will never marry again and why i always tell young people never to marry...the system is so broken why would you want to screw yourself for life?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    17,132

    Default Re: Divorce

    When your girlfriend figures out how much of your money is going to your ex wife, with nothing left for her, you won't have a girlfriend anymore.

    Here's a NY child support calculator.

    https://www1.nyc.gov/site/hra/help/c...alculator.page

    With $85000 gross income, you'll pay $19125 in child support. In NY that can go until the children are age 21.

    As for alimony, if your wife's income of $4500 per year wasn't a typo, you're going to get nailed for that and deservedly so.

    My prediction: She'll get the house, you'll pay the mortgage payments, you'll pay alimony and child support, probably have to buy health insurance for the children, maybe for their mother, too. She'll get the good car, you'll make the payments, you'll drive a beater.

    When all is said and done, you might have enough money to live in a one room efficiency apartment.

    There's nothing wrong with the "system." You'll be getting what's coming to you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,227

    Default Re: Divorce

    He doesn't make much money
    Only five thousand per
    Some judge who thinks he's funny
    Says, "You'll pay six to her"
    He says, "Now, Judge, suppose I fail?"
    The judge says, "Son, step right on into the jail"
    You'd better keep her; I think it's cheaper
    Than makin' whoopee

    Sorry, just couldn't help myself.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Divorce

    Quote Quoting adjusterjack
    View Post
    When your girlfriend figures out how much of your money is going to your ex wife, with nothing left for her, you won't have a girlfriend anymore.

    Here's a NY child support calculator.

    https://www1.nyc.gov/site/hra/help/c...alculator.page

    With $85000 gross income, you'll pay $19125 in child support. In NY that can go until the children are age 21.

    As for alimony, if your wife's income of $4500 per year wasn't a typo, you're going to get nailed for that and deservedly so.

    My prediction: She'll get the house, you'll pay the mortgage payments, you'll pay alimony and child support, probably have to buy health insurance for the children, maybe for their mother, too. She'll get the good car, you'll make the payments, you'll drive a beater.

    When all is said and done, you might have enough money to live in a one room efficiency apartment.

    There's nothing wrong with the "system." You'll be getting what's coming to you.
    There is plenty wrong with the system which is why fewer and fewer men are getting married these days. No reason to. Not when they see generations of men being raped by the system that thinks its still 1950 and all women can do is be stay at home Moms and need to be supported by their husbands.

    So in your example a person who doesnt work and stays at home other than substitute teaching gets the equivalent of 75% of the income for doing what exactly? She has the ability to work and there is no reason she can't.

    Why would she get the house and car while im making payments on them? Whats alimony going towards, her hair and nails getting done? I mean if she wants the house and car she can pay it from that.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Divorce

    Quote Quoting matter2003
    View Post
    There is plenty wrong with the system which is why fewer and fewer men are getting married these days. No reason to. Not when they see generations of men being raped by the system that thinks its still 1950 and all women can do is be stay at home Moms and need to be supported by their husbands.

    So in your example a person who doesnt work and stays at home other than substitute teaching gets the equivalent of 75% of the income for doing what exactly? She has the ability to work and there is no reason she can't.

    Why would she get the house and car while im making payments on them? Whats alimony going towards, her hair and nails getting done? I mean if she wants the house and car she can pay it from that.
    You're right. Make sure the Judge knows your feelings/opinion on the matter.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    17,132

    Default Re: Divorce

    Quote Quoting matter2003
    View Post
    There is plenty wrong with the system
    Well, I can see that there is no arguing with you.

    Please come back after your divorce and report on how well you made out.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,137

    Default Re: Divorce

    Quote Quoting matter2003
    View Post
    There is plenty wrong with the system which is why fewer and fewer men are getting married these days. No reason to. Not when they see generations of men being raped by the system....
    Please watch how you phrase things. This is not RAPE. Until you are a victim of a vicious sexual assault, neither you nor "generations of men" have been RAPED.

    That said, you made the decisions to marry this lady, bear children with her, buy a home with her, and to be the primary breadwinner. The court might look at what she could make and take it into account. That said, you are the one that bears the responsibility for setting up this specific set of facts, but now you want to be with the girlfriend, so it is all the court and your wife's fault? Dude, put it back in your pants! And realize that yes, you are responsible and will get taken to the cleaners, deservedly!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    641

    Default Re: Divorce

    It's funny how pendulums work. For years, centuries even, men "owned" their wives and children (look up "chattel", son). When hubs wandered, wifey was expected to put up with it. And if hubs decided to divorce? He took the kids and left wifey to destitution. Now? Hubs wants to play? He should expect to pay. Horrors.

    OP - you had no problem with your wife staying home and raising your children while you nailed your secretary. You want out? Expect to pay for the pleasure. I'd also expect your g/f to hightail it away from you.

    BTW - NY, I believe, still allows orders for college expenses. I suggest you find a very good lawyer.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    285

    Default Re: Divorce

    OP has not indicated that his wife is aware of the affair.

    If OP is smart he will ditch the girlfriend, keep his mouth shut, never stray again, get some counseling to help strengthen his relationship with his wife, and concentrate on being the best husband and dad he can be.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,728

    Default Re: Divorce

    Quote Quoting hr for me
    View Post
    Please watch how you phrase things. This is not RAPE. Until you are a victim of a vicious sexual assault, neither you nor "generations of men" have been RAPED.

    That said, you made the decisions to marry this lady, bear children with her, buy a home with her, and to be the primary breadwinner. The court might look at what she could make and take it into account. That said, you are the one that bears the responsibility for setting up this specific set of facts, but now you want to be with the girlfriend, so it is all the court and your wife's fault? Dude, put it back in your pants! And realize that yes, you are responsible and will get taken to the cleaners, deservedly!
    actually if you read the definitions of rape, you will see the use by the op is wholly proper

    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rape

    it does not necessarily refer to a sexual issue.


    an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation:the rape of the countryside.



    Its either that or your definition brings a whole new meaning to rapeseed.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Divorce: How to Make a Civil Divorce Conditional Upon Your Receiving an Islamic Divorce
    By lawfacts in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-08-2017, 09:03 PM
  2. Divorce: What Are Your Rights in a Divorce Case if You Can't Afford a Divorce Lawyer
    By seekinghelp16 in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-04-2016, 03:04 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources