Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6

    Exclamation Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

    My child's father didn't show up to our second custody hearing. When I initially filed for full custody after his disinterest in being a part of her life, he responded requesting a paternity test. The results came back that he was the father, however at the next court date for custody and visitation, he didn't show up. Judge granted me full legal and physical custody stating it was at my discretion if I chose to allow father to see daughter. She was only 2 months old when I first filed. By this time she was 5 months old. He has since never asked to see her or asked about her well being. I then filed for child support with our child support agency. I received a nasty message from father stating he wasn't going to pay me anything. He never turned in his paperwork from child support and has made it difficult for child support to obtain information. When I was able to track down who his employer was, Child Support then sent a packet to his employer requesting confirmation of employment and wages. It was only then that he decided he wanted to see our daughter. He's now filed a RFO for 50/50 custody and visitation. Though he hasn't served me yet, I was able to go down to the court house and request the documents he filed. Unfortunately he doesn't supply any information on why he wants to see her, if he misses her, or why he didn't show up to court. He simply says he wants 50/50 and that I have denied him access to her. (Even though he's never asked). Will judge still give him 50/50 even though he's never shown interest in her and didn't show up to court initially? I'm scared. He's a stranger to her. He has a criminal background with a domestic violence history as well as alcohol abuse.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    1,401

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    I'm not sure what "give him 50/50" might mean, but a failure to appear at a single hearing isn't a bar to any particular result.

    I suggest you consult with a local family law attorney.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Quote Quoting pg1067
    View Post
    I'm not sure what "give him 50/50" might mean, but a failure to appear at a single hearing isn't a bar to any particular result.

    I suggest you consult with a local family law attorney.
    Unfortunately I hired an Attorney the first time. He reviewed my response, gave advice, showed up to court but since father didnít show, he didnít really ďfightĒ my case. I was granted full legal and physical custody, as I wanted, and it was done. It was over in less than 5 minutes. I ended up still having to pay quite a few thousand dollars to him (he was an Attorney with a practice an hour away) so my funds are already exhausted from that. I canít afford to hire again. Iíve been doing as much research as possible to represent myself.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    237

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Quote Quoting Lotus_DC
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

    My child's father didn't show up to our second custody hearing. When I initially filed for full custody after his disinterest in being a part of her life, he responded requesting a paternity test. The results came back that he was the father, however at the next court date for custody and visitation, he didn't show up. Judge granted me full legal and physical custody stating it was at my discretion if I chose to allow father to see daughter. She was only 2 months old when I first filed. By this time she was 5 months old. He has since never asked to see her or asked about her well being. I then filed for child support with our child support agency. I received a nasty message from father stating he wasn't going to pay me anything. He never turned in his paperwork from child support and has made it difficult for child support to obtain information. When I was able to track down who his employer was, Child Support then sent a packet to his employer requesting confirmation of employment and wages. It was only then that he decided he wanted to see our daughter. He's now filed a RFO for 50/50 custody and visitation. Though he hasn't served me yet, I was able to go down to the court house and request the documents he filed. Unfortunately he doesn't supply any information on why he wants to see her, if he misses her, or why he didn't show up to court. He simply says he wants 50/50 and that I have denied him access to her. (Even though he's never asked). Will judge still give him 50/50 even though he's never shown interest in her and didn't show up to court initially? I'm scared. He's a stranger to her. He has a criminal background with a domestic violence history as well as alcohol abuse.
    He should have requested a paternity test.

    If ordered to pay child support, he will have to do so or suffer the consequences for failure to pay. It sounds like it will be in your child's best interest to use the services of your state's child support agency.

    He does not have to justify anything and certainly not what you seem to expect him to do to you.

    It is quite possible that you and he will have joint legal. Look at the typical age based visitation plans. As she gets older, he will likely get overnights and week long vacation times even if he does not receive 50/50 residential custody.

    You claim he has a history that might be detrimental to your shared child yet you chose to have a child with him. This shows as much about you as about him. If it was OK before, why is is not acceptable now?

    You need an attorney especially since you are concerned and seem to be unrealistic in your expectations. You need to know your rights and obligations for the next 17plus years.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
    View Post
    He should have requested a paternity test.

    If ordered to pay child support, he will have to do so or suffer the consequences for failure to pay. It sounds like it will be in your child's best interest to use the services of your state's child support agency.

    He does not have to justify anything and certainly not what you seem to expect him to do to you.

    It is quite possible that you and he will have joint legal. Look at the typical age based visitation plans. As she gets older, he will likely get overnights and week long vacation times even if he does not receive 50/50 residential custody.

    You claim he has a history that might be detrimental to your shared child yet you chose to have a child with him. This shows as much about you as about him. If it was OK before, why is is not acceptable now?

    You need an attorney especially since you are concerned and seem to be unrealistic in your expectations. You need to know your rights and obligations for the next 17plus years.
    Iím utilizing the child support agency services as best I can, but without cooperation from the other party, it takes a lot longer. I have filed my own RFO regarding child support as well.

    As far as ďjustificationĒ, itís not for me, itís for our daughter. If I thought he actually cared for her, If she truly mattered to him, if I truly believed he would benefit her life and be a good man for her, I would have no problem working with him in custody and visitation. My daughter from my previous marriage sees her dad one week off and one week on and we have an amazing co-parenting relationship for the past 13 years. Unfortunately he has shown nothing but disinterest. Even as far as cancelling visitation (before I initially filed, trying to to do it without the legal stuff) because he said he had ďother prioritiesĒ to attend to.

    Unfortunately we were only together for a year when I found out I became pregnant. We didnít spend every single minute together and were still learning about each other. It wasnít until I got pregnant and wouldnít have an abortion that he started to become violent with me. I ended the relationship as soon as it become physically violent and havenít been with him since. He wasnít around during the pregnancy either. I was able to find out through his two exís that he was physically violent with them as well, in front of children and there are police reports to prove that. I also found out that heís on formal probation for robbery and has suspended license and a dui. This is all since we havenít been together, which is well over a year now.

    As I said before, I hired an attorney and spent a few thousand just for my childís father not to show up to court. I literally threw that money away pretty much. I have exhausted my expenses. I have everything documented, diligently, all supporting documents and statements needed. I canít imagine that anyone could ever truly believe our child would be safe with someone like him. Iím afraid of what might happen to her or what sheíll be exposed to should he be granted 50/50 legal and physical. Sheíll be 11 months next month. My heart hurts for her.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,411

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Quote Quoting Lotus_DC
    View Post
    I’m utilizing the child support agency services as best I can, but without cooperation from the other party, it takes a lot longer. I have filed my own RFO regarding child support as well.

    As far as “justification”, it’s not for me, it’s for our daughter. If I thought he actually cared for her, If she truly mattered to him, if I truly believed he would benefit her life and be a good man for her, I would have no problem working with him in custody and visitation. My daughter from my previous marriage sees her dad one week off and one week on and we have an amazing co-parenting relationship for the past 13 years. Unfortunately he has shown nothing but disinterest. Even as far as cancelling visitation (before I initially filed, trying to to do it without the legal stuff) because he said he had “other priorities” to attend to.

    Unfortunately we were only together for a year when I found out I became pregnant. We didn’t spend every single minute together and were still learning about each other. It wasn’t until I got pregnant and wouldn’t have an abortion that he started to become violent with me. I ended the relationship as soon as it become physically violent and haven’t been with him since. He wasn’t around during the pregnancy either. I was able to find out through his two ex’s that he was physically violent with them as well, in front of children and there are police reports to prove that. I also found out that he’s on formal probation for robbery and has suspended license and a dui. This is all since we haven’t been together, which is well over a year now.

    As I said before, I hired an attorney and spent a few thousand just for my child’s father not to show up to court. I literally threw that money away pretty much. I have exhausted my expenses. I have everything documented, diligently, all supporting documents and statements needed. I can’t imagine that anyone could ever truly believe our child would be safe with someone like him. I’m afraid of what might happen to her or what she’ll be exposed to should he be granted 50/50 legal and physical. She’ll be 11 months next month. My heart hurts for her.
    The odds of him actually getting a 50/50 timeshare are pretty slim. He cannot demonstrate that he has a relationship with the child at all, let alone one that warrants a 50/50 timeshare.

    However the standard these days is joint legal custody (joint decision making) with a parenting timeshare of one kind or another for the other parent.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    The odds of him actually getting a 50/50 timeshare are pretty slim. He cannot demonstrate that he has a relationship with the child at all, let alone one that warrants a 50/50 timeshare.

    However the standard these days is joint legal custody (joint decision making) with a parenting timeshare of one kind or another for the other parent.
    In my draft response I have indicated the importance of a father playing an active role in their childís life. I DO understand this. My eldest daughter is a better child because her father and I are 100% in her life and get a long great. I know had we stayed together, unhappily, she would be a very different child today. As we would be different people also. If he truly wants a relationship with her and wants to be a good man to her and for her then I think it is fair to at least start slow. I requested that he get supervised visitation through a professional agency. Last time he saw her (she was 2 months old) and he argued with me while holding her, becoming aggressive. I donít want to put either of us through that again. I donít trust what he is capable of. If weíre able to do it through an agency, at his expense, then at least he can get time with her without my interruption, with a professional whoís trained to pay attention to behaviors, document everything and be able to make suggestions or recommendations to a judge. I honestly donít think he would go for this because he doesnít like to be told what to do, or how to do it, but at least Iím trying to work with him to give him an opportunity to develop a relationship with her.

    All of this is so confusing and so sensitive. I lose sleep over it quite often. Iíve been trying to find new outlets financially so I can rehire my lawyer, although he was beyond expensive. Either that or educate myself as much as possible.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,411

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Quote Quoting Lotus_DC
    View Post
    In my draft response I have indicated the importance of a father playing an active role in their child’s life. I DO understand this. My eldest daughter is a better child because her father and I are 100% in her life and get a long great. I know had we stayed together, unhappily, she would be a very different child today. As we would be different people also. If he truly wants a relationship with her and wants to be a good man to her and for her then I think it is fair to at least start slow. I requested that he get supervised visitation through a professional agency. Last time he saw her (she was 2 months old) and he argued with me while holding her, becoming aggressive. I don’t want to put either of us through that again. I don’t trust what he is capable of. If we’re able to do it through an agency, at his expense, then at least he can get time with her without my interruption, with a professional who’s trained to pay attention to behaviors, document everything and be able to make suggestions or recommendations to a judge. I honestly don’t think he would go for this because he doesn’t like to be told what to do, or how to do it, but at least I’m trying to work with him to give him an opportunity to develop a relationship with her.

    All of this is so confusing and so sensitive. I lose sleep over it quite often. I’ve been trying to find new outlets financially so I can rehire my lawyer, although he was beyond expensive. Either that or educate myself as much as possible.
    Just so you know, its a bit of a knee jerk reaction for some parents who know that they are going to get hit up for child support, to turn around and ask for a 50/50 timeshare arrangement because they think it will get them out of child support. Its the ones who REALLY do not want to pay that have that knee jerk reaction. Judges know that and can see that when its happening. Rarely are you going to see a judge actually give them a 50/50 timeshare when they have no relationship with the child and have not attempted to spend any quality time with the child.

    You need to remind the judge that he never even showed up for the last custody hearing.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Just so you know, its a bit of a knee jerk reaction for some parents who know that they are going to get hit up for child support, to turn around and ask for a 50/50 timeshare arrangement because they think it will get them out of child support. Its the ones who REALLY do not want to pay that have that knee jerk reaction. Judges know that and can see that when its happening. Rarely are you going to see a judge actually give them a 50/50 timeshare when they have no relationship with the child and have not attempted to spend any quality time with the child.

    You need to remind the judge that he never even showed up for the last custody hearing.
    I will definitely remind the judge of that as well as the only times he did contact me it was just to tell me he wasnít going to pay me child support. I have time stamped text messages (if thatís even relevant) of the dates in-between that Iíve heard from him and never once has he asked about our daughter or asked to see her. I have a little over a month to prepare. I feel like at all costs I should prepare for the worst so if it happens I wonít be so heart broken.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    833

    Default Re: Father Didn't Show for Initial Custody Hearing - Can He Still Get 50/50

    Don't be heart broken even if the "worst" does happen.

    On one hand he get's 50/50 and doesn't utilize it. Or, he gets 50/50 and does utilize it and your child develops a relationship with her father.
    Make sure you LOVE your child more than you HATE your ex.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Establishing an Order: What Happens at an Initial Hearing in a Custody Case
    By songg45 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-01-2015, 09:23 AM
  2. Arrest Warrants: Charges Dismissed Because Arresting Officer Didn't Show Up at First Hearing
    By flipped in forum Criminal Procedure
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-20-2011, 03:28 PM
  3. Father Didn't Show Up for Visitation
    By mzmumblez in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-03-2010, 11:42 AM
  4. Denial & Appeals: Appeal After Employer Didn't Show for First Hearing
    By iagrl in forum Employment and Labor
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-03-2009, 07:06 PM
  5. No Show For Custody Hearing
    By jypsy_rose_lee in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-11-2008, 11:53 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources