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  1. #1
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    Jun 2019
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    Default What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: NC. My neice dad whom was my brother was murdered in 2016. Before that the baby mama had no issue with us being in my neice life. For almost 3 years since his murder all of a sudden she has tefused my mother visitation to her and her reason is bcause she mad my mom wouldnt allow her (my neice) in the funeral. My neice was 5 at the time. I swear to God she says thats her reason for refusing us visitation to her even though we are the only link my neice has to her father. We have been in contact with my neice bt uts hard bcause of the baby mama.
    The situation haz hit its breaking point as of recently. A family memeber from her family has been in contact with us for the past month making us aware of whats going on. My mom got ti see my neice Saturday thanks to the family memeber. When my mom saw her Saturday she was covered all on her legs and arms and back covered in bedbug and flea bite. I talked to the family memeber after that and they told me that the house is infested with bedbugs and fleas. That the mother leaves her with the grand mother all the time there is no steady money coming in the house cause the sorry ass baby MAMA dont work or wanna work. She was living off her dads ss until recently cause he passed.the grandmother is in mourning so she not in the mind set to take care of my neice.
    My neice is 8 yeara old and she cant read or write her name. She failed kindergarten and im not sure she passed her grade this year. We are concerned who she has my neice around. The mother is in a relationship with a family member on her mom side. Niot to mention she was investigated twice for neglect. They were investigating her for neglect in 2016 bcause of drugs in the home. Her family memebers were the ones who set that in motion.
    Like i said its at its breaking point. I wanna know wts our best course of action to seek custody or atleast equal rights to her? Bcause my neice has suffered already at such a young age. Weve given the mother a chancw to b senasable but now its hit its point. Shpuld we call cps or should we go to a lwayer and go feom there? My neixe deserves way better.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    271

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    Call CPS.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    2,287

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    Quote Quoting Fmdudley
    View Post
    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: NC. My neice dad whom was my brother was murdered in 2016. Before that the baby mama had no issue with us being in my neice life. For almost 3 years since his murder all of a sudden she has tefused my mother visitation to her and her reason is bcause she mad my mom wouldnt allow her (my neice) in the funeral. My neice was 5 at the time. I swear to God she says thats her reason for refusing us visitation to her even though we are the only link my neice has to her father. We have been in contact with my neice bt uts hard bcause of the baby mama.
    The situation haz hit its breaking point as of recently. A family memeber from her family has been in contact with us for the past month making us aware of whats going on. My mom got ti see my neice Saturday thanks to the family memeber. When my mom saw her Saturday she was covered all on her legs and arms and back covered in bedbug and flea bite. I talked to the family memeber after that and they told me that the house is infested with bedbugs and fleas. That the mother leaves her with the grand mother all the time there is no steady money coming in the house cause the sorry ass baby MAMA dont work or wanna work. She was living off her dads ss until recently cause he passed.the grandmother is in mourning so she not in the mind set to take care of my neice.
    My neice is 8 yeara old and she cant read or write her name. She failed kindergarten and im not sure she passed her grade this year. We are concerned who she has my neice around. The mother is in a relationship with a family member on her mom side. Niot to mention she was investigated twice for neglect. They were investigating her for neglect in 2016 bcause of drugs in the home. Her family memebers were the ones who set that in motion.
    Like i said its at its breaking point. I wanna know wts our best course of action to seek custody or atleast equal rights to her? Bcause my neice has suffered already at such a young age. Weve given the mother a chancw to b senasable but now its hit its point. Shpuld we call cps or should we go to a lwayer and go feom there? My neixe deserves way better.
    If you ever think a child is being abused, you call the authorities and they will investigate.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    3,038

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    If CPS removes the child. They will decide where the child lives and who can see the child. Be prepared for the child to go into a foster home. You will have to be patient. CPS may or may not decide the child would be better off with you.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    1,138

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    Quote: "....there is no steady money coming in the house cause the sorry ass baby MAMA dont work or wanna work. She was living off her dads ss until recently cause he passed.the grandmother is in mourning so she not in the mind set to take care of my neice."

    Okay something that you have to consider is that you don't really know what sort of steady income is coming into the house. And if the mother has a child and the child's father is dead, isn't the child receiving SS Death Benefits from the father? Are you speaking of the s. a. babymama when you say "she was living off her dad's ss"? If you mean your niece, why isn't she still receiving the benefits? Why would that have stopped "until recently"? If this family group is receiving public assistance of some kind, they are already on the radar of several government agencies, there will be work requirements for adults who are able but can't and won't work. And a little girl receiving social security death benefits from a deceased parent is quite a cash cow for the family. They will not relinquish the child easily.

    Without some sort of documentation of new problems, since the past reports and apparent investigations were not enough to remove the child from the home, without a new
    record of the child's abuse and/or neglect, some investigation and documentation, you won't be able to just "get a lawyer" and sue for custody successfully. What you have is a lot of vague, general concerns based on your perceptions from mostly second hand stories. This family member from her family who is filling your heads with these stories is probably mad at her family member, trying to get her in trouble, and if there are no documented reported problems, your concern about who the child is being exposed to, how the child is doing in school, etc. are just that, concerns. They aren't likely to be enough to get you guys custody. Though you can certainly discuss this with an attorney.

  6. #6
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    Oct 2006
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    15,411

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    Quote Quoting comment/ator
    View Post
    Quote: "....there is no steady money coming in the house cause the sorry ass baby MAMA dont work or wanna work. She was living off her dads ss until recently cause he passed.the grandmother is in mourning so she not in the mind set to take care of my neice."

    Okay something that you have to consider is that you don't really know what sort of steady income is coming into the house. And if the mother has a child and the child's father is dead, isn't the child receiving SS Death Benefits from the father? Are you speaking of the s. a. babymama when you say "she was living off her dad's ss"? If you mean your niece, why isn't she still receiving the benefits? Why would that have stopped "until recently"? If this family group is receiving public assistance of some kind, they are already on the radar of several government agencies, there will be work requirements for adults who are able but can't and won't work. And a little girl receiving social security death benefits from a deceased parent is quite a cash cow for the family. They will not relinquish the child easily.

    Without some sort of documentation of new problems, since the past reports and apparent investigations were not enough to remove the child from the home, without a new
    record of the child's abuse and/or neglect, some investigation and documentation, you won't be able to just "get a lawyer" and sue for custody successfully. What you have is a lot of vague, general concerns based on your perceptions from mostly second hand stories. This family member from her family who is filling your heads with these stories is probably mad at her family member, trying to get her in trouble, and if there are no documented reported problems, your concern about who the child is being exposed to, how the child is doing in school, etc. are just that, concerns. They aren't likely to be enough to get you guys custody. Though you can certainly discuss this with an attorney.
    I think that she was talking about her niece's grandpa being the one who was receiving SS benefits.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    1,138

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    If he passed away, the ss would most likely now be going to his wife, so same income coming in? But the point is, from a distance, this family doesn't really know anything about what the income situation is of this family. They're listening to this "concerned family member" who is getting them all jacked up, though I don't see any dramatic change in circumstances, just a lot of general allegations.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    3,038

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    The child's father would have to have earned enough credits. If not the child would not be eligible for benefits.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    Quote Quoting Mercy&Grace
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    The child's father would have to have earned enough credits. If not the child would not be eligible for benefits.
    Again, I am nearly positive that the child's grandfather was the one receiving SS benefits, not the child. Yes, the child's grandmother might be receiving benefits as well if she is of the correct age to do so, but its possible that she is much younger than that.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    1,138

    Default Re: What Constituts Neglect in North Carolina

    But the point is that from here, this is about fourth hand guessing at information that says what? That the "sorry ass baby mama" won't work? That the child is living in poverty? From the outside, with very little concrete proof of abuse except the word of another relative, these relatives are being inflamed in a very general sense. Even though, as they admit, the situation has been reviewed by CPS before and no action was taken. And though North Carolina makes very little provision for grandparents rights they seem to think that enough is enough and that they can simply march in and demand the child due to the situation they believe she's living in. That's just not the way things work.

    They need to get this situation reviewed in a consultation with a family law attorney. They need to figure out if they can become foster parents if CPS is involved. Who, exactly is planning to keep this child if they remove it from this home and obtain custody? The grandmother? The uncle? What sort of situation would the child (who doesn't know them, has spent very little time with them, who has not been in a relationship with them, but has been in an a close relationship with their mother and her family members) be in if they successfully remove the child from the mother and take full custody?

    I would almost suggest that if they genuinely want to be involved in this child's life, they try to work with this baby's mother constructively, get to know the child. The mother obviously saw them as some kind of threat, decided to remove this family from her life when she could. Perhaps it was to protect the income this child might bring with her, but as of now, the mother's rights have not been removed. She is the parent. She is making the decisions. If there was help, assistance, genuine interest instead of combative hostility, the two parties (mother's and father's family) perhaps could both have a relationship with the child and they could help make things better for the child without going to war.

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