If I were you, I'd think long and hard about filing in NY since a court in NY can handle all of the outstanding issues re property division, custody, visitation, support, etc. The only thing a CA court can do is terminate the marriage and enter a child support order (and, as noted in one of the prior responses, NY still has archaic and discriminatory laws that require divorced parents to provide support for their kids well into adulthood (where parents who are married have no duty to support adult children)).
You are incorrect about NY having jurisdiction for custody. Only CA has jurisdiction for custody because that is the state of the child's residency.
I have no interest in any property or alimony. And I also have a custody order in place as CA has emergency jurisdiction due to the restraining order. All I want to do is dissolve the marriage and be done with it.
Then find a lawyer who better understands the residency requirements and do what you want to do.
It blows my mind that my lawyer who I've paid all this money to is being so unhelpful with something that shouldn't be an issue. Guess I'll have to go to the self help office and get advice next. I can't afford a new lawyer after retaining this one.