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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
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    2

    Default How to Change Divorce Venue to Another State with Children Involved

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Colorado

    I have a divorce case with my husband. We have three children together. The case has been getting dragged out by my husband for over a year now. He was previously abusive and has a prior criminal record, including domestic violence against me. He doesn’t really want the divorce, hence why he has been holding it off. Some days he supports the idea, other days he opposes it. With him being bi-polar, you never know what you’re going to get any given day.

    While the divorce is ongoing here in Colorado, I have been wanting to move to Tampa for the past year and a half. When I discussed it with my (hopefully soon to be) ex, he was supportive of all of us moving down to Tampa for better work opportunities, etc. It came up multiple times over the last year, and he kept saying he was ready to when me and the kids were. However, recently he has been telling me the only way he will let me and the kids move down there is if I drop the divorce case and give him another chance.

    I have not been with him since the inception of the divorce in January of 2018. Within the last few months, I have fallen head-over-heels in love with someone who lives in the Tampa area. The only thing keeping me from him is my ex refusing to let us move the kids down there to Florida.

    It is heartbreaking, because I can get a much better paying job in Tampa and the man of my dreams lives there. My love in Tampa has children with an ex as well, so him moving here isn’t a choice due to their parenting plan. My ex knows I have wanted to move to Tampa for years, and now, he is keeping me from doing it purely to spite me.

    What can I do? What is the best way to handle something like this? I know if I catch my ex in the right mood, he will be willing to move to Tampa. However, we are doing this by ourselves and cannot afford an attorney, so I have no idea what I would need to include in our agreement to even make the move legal and by the book?

    I have three kids and NO child support at all from him, so please don’t give me the cliché answer of “hire an attorney.” I struggle to find a way to feed my kids and keep a roof over our heads, so if your only answer is going to be “you need an attorney,” please just refrain from replying, as you will be wasting both your and my time. I already tried making a “Go Fund Me” page months ago and have tried other fundraising methods, but I am from another country and as such, my social circle here is small and so it is NOT an option.

    One of my friends suggested that I drop the divorce case here in Colorado (which my ex will definitely agree to do), move to Florida with the children, and then refile the divorce there so they have jurisdiction in Florida. I feel it is a bit underhanded, but with how manipulative my ex is being and how long he has dragged it out, I am desperate. I am also not sure how long I would need to actually live in Florida until I could file for the divorce again there? Also, until I was able to file in Florida, he could always refile the divorce in Colorado and force me to come back, right?

    I cry every night these days and am desperate for help. Whatever advice you can give would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,112

    Default Re: Change Venue to Another State with Children Involved

    Once he let you and the children move to Florida, he would not be able to force you and the children to return to CO. However, he could re-open the divorce in CO and force you to return for court dates.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,163

    Default Re: Change Venue to Another State with Children Involved

    Although you don’t want to hear it, the fact you have allowed this divorce issue drag on for so long really does show you do need an attorney. There is no real “holding it off” if you don’t want to be married. Your inactions have allowed him to continue the marriage.

    have you sought out legal assistance from any place? There are often legal aid providers in many areas, some of which do assist in divorce situations. Women’s support groups (especially those that deal with domestic violence) may be able to steer you to some legal assistance. While the law schools I,m aware of that offer legal counseling don’t tend to deal with divorces, if you have a law school in your area, at least contact them to be certain whether they will or won’t be able to aid you in any way.


    The fact you are continuing to concern yourself with your estranged husband and his situation as much as you are is concerning. Who cares if he moves to Tampa? From your description so far, and especially since it appears you are ready to move on from the current marriage, it sounds like a recipe for disaster. It’s like you want to bring your own worst enemy to be near you.


    Do you realize that if you move to florida, your divorce will remain in Colorado?

    You have a lot of complex issues with your pending divorce and wanting to relocate. You really need some level of legal counseling before you make any move. Look for some sort of legal aid. I fear you are only going to complicate your situation if you move forward without some direction from a legal counselor

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,817

    Default Re: Change Venue to Another State with Children Involved

    Quote Quoting June88
    View Post
    However, recently he has been telling me the only way he will let me and the kids move down there is if I drop the divorce case and give him another chance.
    Practically speaking, if you relocate to California to start a relationship with your new love interest, how would he see that as getting another chance? You need to be certain that he's not simply trying to manipulate you into dropping the divorce case.
    Quote Quoting June88
    I know if I catch my ex in the right mood, he will be willing to move to Tampa.
    That's not going to work out very well if he is expecting to move down there with you. If that's the expectation you create, and he ends up moving back to Colorado to litigate, his "permission" for your move won't mean much.
    Quote Quoting June88
    One of my friends suggested that I drop the divorce case here in Colorado (which my ex will definitely agree to do), move to Florida with the children, and then refile the divorce there so they have jurisdiction in Florida.
    If your spouse moves to Florida at the same time as you, once you have lived there long enough to establish jurisdiction you can file your divorce and custody case there. Otherwise, with the six month rule as defined by the UCCJEA, your ex- can seek to litigate custody issues in Colorado.

    Your ex- can't force you to come back to Colorado, but he could get a court order requiring that the children return (with or without you).
    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    Once he let you and the children move to Florida, he would not be able to force you and the children to return to CO.
    If mom can prove that she moved with permission (without any trickery), it's unlikely that the court would order that the children's domicile be returned to Colorado; but dad may deny giving permission for a move.

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