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  1. #1
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    Apr 2018
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    Default Custody and Visitation in Different States

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arizona.

    I'm posting for my older brother, who has never used a computer before. All opinions, advise, etc are welcome.

    He's lived with his much younger girlfriend in AZ for several years. Around two years ago, they broke up and then she announced she was pregnant. The child was born, and since then she refuses to let him take the child anywhere, he can only see her when she says ok, and only at her house. Now she's talking about moving back to her home state, CA.

    He filed for custody and child support in AZ, and she's threatening him with an expensive fight. Is it possible the court will let her move the girl away? How will visitation work with a young child and parents in different states?

    If it helps, they make about the same amount, and he's offered several times to split all expenses 50/50, as he wants 50/50 custody.

    Thanks,

  2. #2
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    Jul 2018
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    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    Quote Quoting paddywakk
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    How will visitation work with a young child and parents in different states?
    Until the child is a few years older, he will probably have to go to where the mother lives. Once the child is in school age, the non-custodial parent could be allowed extended visitation during school breaks. A lot obviously depends on where in AZ your brother lives and where in CA the mother intends to move. If, for example, if he's in Kingman, AZ and she's in Needles, CA, then he'll probably be able to maintain a standard every other weekend schedule. On the other hand, if he's in Tucson, AZ and she's in Crescent City, CA, the visitation would only be practical during school breaks, and regular communication would be by phone or skype.
    Quote Quoting paddywakk
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    If it helps, they make about the same amount, and he's offered several times to split all expenses 50/50, as he wants 50/50 custody.
    Unless the parents live in extreme proximity to each other, anything remotely resembling "50/50 custody" isn't practical -- especially for school age children.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
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    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    Thank you for you help.

    I should say that I work in a economically depressed area, and we have many older students who have never used a computer, so I'm not surprised - some seem afraid of doing so.

    You are right, they don't live together anymore and haven't since @January 2018. He tried to sign the birth certificate at the hospital, but I'm not sure what happened - he's under the impression the mother told the staff he wasn't the father. But that's one of the things he filed for.

    She comes from money, and is threatening to get a lawyer and drag everything out forever. She wants him to pay for all medical, 100% of child care, her rent, her utilities, miscellaneous items the baby needs, and child support on top of that.

    There's @1200 miles between the two cities - he's in Youngtown (near Scottsdale) and she wants to move to Palo Alto (near San Francisco)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    Once paternity is established through court ordered DNA testing. He will be ordered to pay child support. He will have a legal obligation to support the child. He will have no legal obligation to support the mother.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    Quote Quoting paddywakk
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    He tried to sign the birth certificate at the hospital, but I'm not sure what happened - he's under the impression the mother told the staff he wasn't the father. But that's one of the things he filed for.
    He needs to insist on a proper DNA test. While he may know that he had sex with the mother around the estimated time of conception, he cannot know whether the mother had other sexual partners around the same time.


    Quote Quoting paddywakk
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    She wants him to pay for all medical, 100% of child care, her rent, her utilities, miscellaneous items the baby needs, and child support on top of that.
    Medical expenses and sometimes daycare are usually ordered on top of child support, but everything else mentioned is what child support covers. He needs to get himself an attorney to ensure that his interests are adequately protected.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    Quote Quoting pg1067
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    He needs to insist on a proper DNA test. While he may know that he had sex with the mother around the estimated time of conception, he cannot know whether the mother had other sexual partners around the same time.




    Medical expenses and sometimes daycare are usually ordered on top of child support, but everything else mentioned is what child support covers. He needs to get himself an attorney to ensure that his interests are adequately protected.
    I would only suggest that he follow the bolded advice if he is prepared to lose a child to whom he is bonded.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    I would only suggest that he follow the bolded advice if he is prepared to lose a child to whom he is bonded.
    If he does not insist on a DNA test. There is no way of knowing if the child is his. A judge will order a DNA test before deciding child support and visitation.

    Child support is for the child not the mother. Each parent has the responsibility to financial support their child. If the mother uses child support to pay the rent. That does not mean the father is supporting the mother. Unfortunately, some non custodial believe differently.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    I'm not a lawyer, just a parent in a 50/50 state. So please don't take this as legal advice.

    Anyway, I know a couple people who still have 50/50 even though they live in separate states. In one situation, Mom moved 1000 miles away and they do 50/50 with their 18 month old child. The child spends 3 months in each state. It doesn't seem to be going well for either parent or the child, but the judge ordered this schedule.

    In another situation, one parent lives in a different country and one lives in my state. They alternate years - so the child lives here one year and there the next year. The child switches between both schools and goes an entire year without seeing each parent.

    I don't think either of these situations are ideal, but I still wanted to share them.

    However, the most common situation I see with parents in different states is that one parent gets the school year and one gets the summer and holiday breaks. The parent who gets summers/holidays can still call during the week and chat with the child. The 18 month old's parents have done this since he was about a year old so he could hear their voices and remember his other parent.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
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    16

    Default Re: Custody and Visitation in Different States

    Many thanks to all who replied! I believe he needs an attorney, and will pass on all your feedback

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