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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
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    11

    Default University Restricts Access by a Protected Person, Restraining Order Against Student

    My question involves civil rights in the State of: Kentucky
    I'm posting here because the Title IX division is overseen by the Civil Rights Division of the Justice Department. I'm not positive if this is the correct place.

    I am a graduate of a public university. My ex husband has a DVPO against him by me. He enrolled in this university, and I was supposed to be returning there for my Master's. I contacted the school to find out if they had procedures in place for this type of situation. They directed me to their Title IX office who asked for copies of the orders. I sent them over and then was sent a letter outlining lists of rules for me to follow about staying away from him, not speaking to him, not posting anything online about him, even if his name is excluded or I would be found in violation of the schools sexual misconduct policy. I don't go near him or speak to him as is, but I do blog about my experience as a DV survivor and speak with other women.

    According to the letter I was sent, this is a violation and considered sexual misconduct. I'm confused by this because nowhere in the DVPO does it say I am not allowed to speak publicly about my abuse or that I am under any obligation to be silent. I feel like the university is trying to enforce something that isn't any part of the order. As the victim in this situation, this feels unfair and like they are disallowing me to speak freely about a horrific situation that I lived through.

    I can understand if they don't want me to speak about it on campus, as that would be pointing out that one of their students was an abuser and may put them in a negative light, but to say on my own time, in my own home, I can't blog about my life seems stifling. I am 100% open to any feedback. I just need to know if they are allowed to threaten to put me in violation of a sexual misconduct policy for sharing my life story. Thank you for your time.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    7,646

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    Have you spoken to anyone at the university about this? It almost sounds like there was a mix-up and things intended for him somehow got sent to you.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,619

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    Do they understand that the DVPO is to protect YOU from HIM and not the other way around? I would not give that University any more of my business. I would go to school somewhere else.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
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    11

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    Yes. I emailed back and verified that they realized that I was the victim and not the abuser. They said yes, they were aware and this is their procedure. I have requested a meeting with someone else at the university to discuss this further because my first instinct was that they mixed us up and they have stated that they did not.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,728

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    Don’t confuse the dvpo from a court with the schools policies. While I don’t understand the situation the school is imposing on you, the schools policy can impose rules not in the dvpo. It can even impose rules for you.

    You need to contact the appropriate office and address your questions with them.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
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    11

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    The most confusing part is that if I say my ex husband put my head through a wall, then I am in violation of the sexual misconduct policy? There is nothing sexual about that at all. Even more annoying, the link to the university's actual policy gives you a "page not found" message, so I can't even read the policy.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    15,619

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    Quote Quoting AudreyTwo
    View Post
    The most confusing part is that if I say my ex husband put my head through a wall, then I am in violation of the sexual misconduct policy? There is nothing sexual about that at all. Even more annoying, the link to the university's actual policy gives you a "page not found" message, so I can't even read the policy.
    Ask them to provide you a hard copy of the policy since you cannot access it online.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,373

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    Quote Quoting AudreyTwo
    View Post
    The most confusing part is that if I say my ex husband put my head through a wall, then I am in violation of the sexual misconduct policy? There is nothing sexual about that at all. Even more annoying, the link to the university's actual policy gives you a "page not found" message, so I can't even read the policy.
    Which university is this? I was able to easily locate the Administrative Regulations for the University of Kentucky which do lend themselves to a number of those items you mentioned they said you should not engage in. I did not look to hard for Kentucky State's regs, but I imagine they are also online.

    A number of those policies you mention, such as speaking about him,. making accusations, etc., are things that could get you in trouble at many universities (if not most) - particularly if you utilize university resources to engage in such conduct. You have to understand that your ex has the same protections on campus as any other student - regardless of your status as a victim and as a protected party in a restraining order. I'm not going to defend the way the info was related to you as it seems poorly transmitted, but, I'm going to guess that they have had a bad experience with a victim before who had engaged in a campaign of slander or harassment against the other party so they are attempting to be pro-active.

    I would suggest you speak with your campus's Title IX Coordinator about the matter and seek some clarification. I would point out that it is not your intent to proclaim his name all over social media, but, instead, to write about your experiences as a victim on your PERSONAL (non-campus related) blog while not using campus resources (even wifi). It might still be a violation if you drag his name through the mud, so for the duration of your time at the university you may want to avoid using his name. Keep in mind that the actions of the university are not the same as those in a court of law and they can take actions that might seem unusual or even draconian. Colleges and universities are in an unenviable position sometimes as they have to respect and protect the rights and privacy of all parties - even the bad guy's.
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    1,137

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    It is very possible the same rules apply to both parties--- that is something I would ask them too along with what others have stated. Basically it sounds like they don't want you to bring that specific personal issue onto their playground where they own the land and the equipment and the rangers....

    I am sorry you have to deal with this, but if it were me, I'd choose to get my Master's elsewhere....not because of school policy but just because he is there too...and it sounds like he might have been there first?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    11

    Default Re: Title Ix University Issue

    Is there a way to privately send you the university name? For obvious reasons, I don't want to share too much publicly, especially since I already made a statement about him beating me.

    I went there first as far as graduating from there already and the plan was always to return, with some academic incentives from the program I am in. I was on a full scholarship through them my junior and senior year and he knew I would be back there. I dropped my classes because of this and am not sure what I will do at this point. The order reads that even if I don't mention his name in any off campus postings, I would be in violation if it could be traced that I was speaking about him. I would only be on the physical campus one day per week per semester, and I have never used the university's resources for any of my personal things. I got an email about meeting with the interim director, so I'm going to take them up on that offer. As of now, I will put my degree on hold. It makes me angry that I could have to give up what I have worked for at this university in this program and where I have a chance to get financial help. Hopefully this meeting will shed some light on things and make a decision easier.

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