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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
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    San Antonio, TX
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    9

    Default Threatened by a Girlfriend's Father

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of Texas

    (I'll just call her Emily) ( we're both 17 btw about to turn 18 in a little over a month)
    so I'll start at the beginning of it all. I met this girl the start of senior year of high school, and we basically became more than friends and everything was going great. I told my parents about her, and so I thought she would've done the same, so I asked her if she did, but she didn't. She told me that her parents are pretty strict, which I understood at the time. More weeks came and in that time span, I would drop the question here, and there if she told her parents yet, which the answer was no. Next day came and she finally went up to me and told me that she told her parents about me. I was anxiously wondering what happened because she wasn't so happy about it. At the time homecoming was approaching in the next few weeks so I told Emily that she can also ask if we can go to homecoming together. she looks at me and says that she got her phone taken away because we kept the relationship a secret. I was kinda upset at that whole thing, but again I understood the situation, but she also told me that we could go to homecoming so I was obviously pretty happy about that.

    Fast-forward about a week before homecoming she still has no phone. (its already been 3 weeks) I would always ask her when she would get her phone back because I thought it wasn't that big of a deal. She told me just to wait it out because last time she got her phone taken away she didn't get it back for 5 months! which I thought was absurd, and then homecoming swings around and, it was my lucky day because I finally get to meet the parents (so I thought) My mother drives me to my girlfriend's house to meet the parents and to take her to homecoming. I get out of the vehicle and I just see Emily and her mother waiting for my arrival. I get out of my mom's car and so does my mom, and I meet the mother. She doesn't have a smile at all. She basically just said to my mother and me that Emily is on a "tight leash" and that shes only getting her phone back for this night and that's it. (just because we kept the relationship a "secret") I was kinda surprised because, she threw her daughter under the bus, and didn't really talk to me so much, just gave me a handshake and that's it. She told me that the father is at work and that he'll be back when we get back from homecoming, so I can meet him after.

    We got dropped off on campus because that's where homecoming was taken place. When we get inside the building Emily tells me that her father was inside the house, but he just didn't want to meet you yet. I understood like I always do. While at homecoming Emily gets a text and its from her mom saying that her father is "not feeling well" and that we have to leave early so that they can take me home. Her mother comes and picks us up from the school, and proceeds to take me home with little communication between the mother and I. We make it to my house and I get dropped off hoping that she keeps her phone for the night because its been killing me not talking to her. I wait for her text or any indication that she's home. She finally text me back saying "I think they forgot to take my phone so I'm gonna keep it low key till they go to their room," I said "okay" and waited till she texts me back. I get a text at around 11:30 pm saying that they're asleep, and she told me that her dad wasn't actually sick. That made me kinda upset because now I have the feeling that they don't really like me.

    I wake up the next morning getting ready for school. I text Emily as I would usually do in the morning, but I didn't get a text back. I go to school and wait for lunch to start so I can talk to her because we have the same lunch. I approach her and she tells me that she got her phone taken in the morning and got in trouble, by her dad. She told me the dad said that she was supposed to give the phone back when she got home. so now I'm pretty upset at the situation because it already been a month that she has no phone, and through all this time I would ask Emily if its okay if we can go on a date somewhere, or if I can meet her dad, but it always just ended up with them not wanting to hear what she has to say about me or this relationship, and even sometimes the dad would call me names for no reason. For example Emily told her dad that she was hungry and the dad goes "why don't you tell your pussy ass boyfriend to make you a sandwich" and when I heard that from Emily that he said that I just didn't know what to do anymore because obviously they don't like me for some reason and they always bring up "well Y'all should've never lied to us in the first place about having a relationship" which I think is completely outrageous because that already happened 3 months ago and that's their excuse every time I wanna do something with Emily or meet the father.

    So I really sit down with Emily and ask her questions about why her parents are so strict. She told me she doesn't know why. She tells me that she has a younger sister that goes to the same high school that we go to but she's a freshman. I asked Emily about her little sister and Emily told me that she is a bit of a trouble maker. I asked if that's why your parents are so strict (because it didn't make sense that Emily is getting treated so poorly because she does great in her classes and has all these academic awards and doesn't skip class). She said no they don't really care what my little sister does. I asked her how things were at home she was just silent and started to cry a little. I asked her if everything okay, and she shook her head no. She just tells me that she feels like she's getting picked on for no reason...I think its because she doesn't fit in the family meaning that, the parents are pretty bad they both smoke weed with each other and were not that bright when it came to academics in high school. so Emily's little sister just followed in their footsteps, but not Emily she tries to stray away from drugs and alcohol, and only focuses on school.

    2 more months go down of us just seeing each other at school, and I still haven't met the father yet, nor have I ever been on a date with Emily... I'm a patient person and I understand, but then came winter break and obviously I wouldn't see her for 2 weeks because we didn't have school. so I made an idiotic decision to go to Emily's house and surprise her because I knew that her parents work and it would only be Emily and her little sister, so i text my friend who can drive and ask if he can drive me over there so I can see her and watch a movie, do something before the break ended because I knew at this rate of the relationship I was never gonna do anything with her because of her parents, so he drives me over there and she knows that I'm coming and lets me enter the house, it's like 3:00 o clock and she says that her father doesn't come home till about 5:00 pm but I wasn't gonna risk anything cuz I already regretted going over there so we watch the movie and it's like 4:20 pm and my friend text me and says that we should leave because its gonna be 5 soon and I don't wanna get caught. so I tell Emily that he's outside and she lets me go.

    I walk to my friend's car and we start to drive off and I look back and I see a car speeding down the road...it's her dad he saw me leave the house. He enters the house and asks Emily who that was that left the house. She said no one, filled with rage he says "do you think I'm ****ing stupid" and strikes her and hits her in the eye leaving her with a black eye. He goes outside and goes back to his car and proceeds to chase us , so my friend starts to freak out cuz I told him that he's chasing us he begins to speed and drive erratic to lose him. I see him to my right and he tries to ram us from the side but my friend swerves to the side in dodges his attack. We lost him, but he went back home and yelled at Emily and told her that she's a "slut" and a "bitch" while throwing wire hangers at her back and hitting her. While that is happening the mom gets home because the father told her and said that I'm lucky I didn't get shot by the father, and that he was gonna ram the car and "beat the **** out of me" I obviously feel terrible about my actions and I regret it with my whole life, and I did try to text the mother, but she didn't care how I felt about this situation nor how much I love Emily...all Emily's mother told me was that if I keep texting her (which I wasn't texting a lot I just said how I felt and that I need to explain everything in person) that she'll report me to the police that I'm harassing her.

    I feel deeply terrible about my actions. I know I shouldn't have gone to her house. I obviously messed up bad and I have myself to blame. When we got back to school and I saw her black eye it just broke me to pieces. Emily told me that if her dad catches me anywhere around the house he will shoot me and the mom also texted me that if I can't keep my distance on campus then she's gonna take her out of high school. Emily also told me that shes been wanting to get out of that house hold because it is unsafe for her. I was just wondering what can I do to make this work. I know we are about to be 18 and if that changes anything. and for her dad threatening my life and intentionally trying to ram the car and abusing Emily as he did if I can do anything... we just really love each other and I just don't want to live in fear by her dad that I might get shot if I'm still with her. I'm really sorry about how long this is and that it probably has a lot of errors, but I just need answers... she comes from a very poor family and my family is more then happy to take care of her but we don't want any isusses with Emily's father

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    7,297

    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Quote Quoting Zcain45
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    I was just wondering what can I do to make this work. I know we are about to be 18 and if that changes anything. and for her dad threatening my life and intentionally trying to ram the car and abusing Emily as he did if I can do anything... we just really love each other and I just don't want to live in fear by her dad that I might get shot if I'm still with her. I'm really sorry about how long this is and that it probably has a lot of errors, but I just need answers... she comes from a very poor family and my family is more then happy to take care of her but we don't want any isusses with Emily's father
    I understand that some teens get obsessed with what they think is true love, and it seems that's what's happened with you. Your post suggests you haven't actually spent a lot of time with this girl because her parents won't let her. As her parents they can decide whom she sees until she's 18. You know they don't want you to see her so stay away from her until she's 18. You may report what you personally saw and heard the father do (threats against you, etc) to the police if you wish. Whether the father will get prosecuted is up to the District Attorney. If you have evidence that the girl is being abused you can contact the child protective services agency. But given that she turns 18 in just a month, I doubt they'll do much unless they deem her to be at immediate risk for serious harm. At 18 if she wants to leave her home and live with you and your parents, she's free to do that. Of course, that may tick off her parents and they might cut her off and decide they don't anything to do with her, so she needs to decide if she's willing to take that risk.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
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    9

    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Quote Quoting Taxing Matters
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    I understand that some teens get obsessed with what they think is true love, and it seems that's what's happened with you. Your post suggests you haven't actually spent a lot of time with this girl because her parents won't let her. As her parents they can decide whom she sees until she's 18. You know they don't want you to see her so stay away from her until she's 18. You may report what you personally saw and heard the father do (threats against you, etc) to the police if you wish. Whether the father will get prosecuted is up to the District Attorney. If you have evidence that the girl is being abused you can contact the child protective services agency. But given that she turns 18 in just a month, I doubt they'll do much unless they deem her to be at immediate risk for serious harm. At 18 if she wants to leave her home and live with you and your parents, she's free to do that. Of course, that may tick off her parents and they might cut her off and decide they don't anything to do with her, so she needs to decide if she's willing to take that risk.
    Thank you for replying. I understand I can’t do anything when we are 17 because we are still minors,and we are keeping it on the low but the dad told Emily that if she thinks when she turns 18 that she’s gonna live with me he’ll “shoot me” if I try to pick her up. Her mom said that age is just a number and being 18 dosen’t mean anything to her.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    7,606

    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Again, you can report the threats. If she is dead-set on running away with you when she turns 18, she should do the running and you should not go there. Avoid the conflict.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Quote Quoting free9man
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    Again, you can report the threats. If she is dead-set on running away with you when she turns 18, she should do the running and you should not go there. Avoid the conflict.
    I understand. I’m pretty sure her mom knows where I live, and I wouldn’t doubt they’ll come to my house first if she runs away

  6. #6
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    Jul 2010
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    7,606

    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Quote Quoting Zcain45
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    I understand. I’m pretty sure her mom knows where I live, and I wouldn’t doubt they’ll come to my house first if she runs away
    They can come to your house all day long. They can't come in unless someone lets them. If they show up, have an adult tell them to leave. If they don't, call the police for trespassers. If they try and force their way in, well you are in Texas.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2019
    Location
    San Antonio, TX
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    9

    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Quote Quoting free9man
    View Post
    They can come to your house all day long. They can't come in unless someone lets them. If they show up, have an adult tell them to leave. If they don't, call the police for trespassers. If they try and force their way in, well you are in Texas.
    would she be charged with anything if she just runs away without her parents knowing? I say that because I think that's the only way because I don't think they'll let her just pack her things and leave the house.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    New Jersey
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    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Quote Quoting Zcain45
    View Post
    would she be charged with anything if she just runs away without her parents knowing? I say that because I think that's the only way because I don't think they'll let her just pack her things and leave the house.
    You're talking about when she is 17, or when she turns 18?
    I'm not a lawyer, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.......

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
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    23,956

    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    When Emily is 18, she can walk out the door and never look back and no one can do a thing about it. As long as she is still 17, her parents can still report her as a runaway and have her brought back.

  10. #10
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    Jan 2019
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    San Antonio, TX
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    Default Re: What Are the Legal Actions I Can Do

    Quote Quoting Who'sThatGuy
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    You're talking about when she is 17, or when she turns 18?
    When she turns 18

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