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  1. #1
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    Jan 2019
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    Default My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    My question involves a person located in the state of: Montana
    She is the great grandmother of my grandchildren on the paternal side.

    Most of her family and relatives live in Panhandle of Idaho or in or near Spokane, Wa. Her son has Severe Parkinson's and is living with his daughter who also has an autistic child and a 2 year old so they could not take her. Her older daughter is not healthy either and living with her dad who is healthier than she is but he is 85 and her younger daughter left her in Montana and moved to Oregon somewhere. Leaving her mother in Montana so the State of Montana took custody of her and put her in assisted living without contacting any of the grandchildren or great grandchildren. She has a grandson in Washington and one in Nebraska. Both are concerned but cannot take her and she does need to be in assisted living as she does not eat and forgets her medication.

    She has two dogs. The great grandchildren 2 are 20 and 22 and some others a bit older and some younger would like to get her to Washington in Assisted living where she has family to visit and can take her out to dinner, shopping etc. Where she is she said they took her stored belongings and sold them and only give her $10 to spend a month.

    She wants to be moved to Washington Spokane area where she has 5 grandchildren, Her son and daughter both not well and in care themselves and 11 great grandchildren some in their 20's with children of their own. So she can visit with her family and they can visit with her she is over 350 miles away and they rarely can visit due to jobs, children etc but if she were in Spokane they could all visit and take her out at times.

    Montana does not want to let her go she said and so did an attorney it is likely because of the money she gets from Social Security. She just wants to be in assisted in Washington State near a lot of family not in Montana where no one comes to visit and she only gets occasional letters and phone calls. What can be done. Doesn't she and her family have some say and rights in this? thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    7,287

    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    Has she been determined by a court to be incompetent? If she legally incompetent who has guardianship over her?

    The basic rule here is that if she is mentally competent then she gets to decide where she lives (assuming she has the funds to pay for it and can get accepted into the facility she wants to go to, of course). The state cannot force her stay if she does not want to. And nothing in your post indicates why the state would be in any position to object to her moving (or even care why she wants to move).

  3. #3
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    Jul 2018
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    1,395

    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    She is the great grandmother of my grandchildren on the paternal side.
    I assume this woman is unrelated to you in any way.


    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    the State of Montana took custody of her
    So...there's a court order declaring her to be a ward of the state?


    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    Where she is she said they took her stored belongings and sold them and only give her $10 to spend a month.
    I'm not sure who "they" are, but why would anyone "give her [any money] to spend"?


    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    Montana does not want to let her go she said
    What does "Montana does not want" mean? While Montana's population is barely over a million people, it hardly has a collective mind and has over 21,000 state employees. So who exactly is it that "does not want" this?


    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    and so did an attorney
    What attorney? Whom does this attorney represent?


    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    it is likely because of the money she gets from Social Security.
    It is a virtual certainty that whatever "money she gets from Social Security" doesn't even come close to covering the cost of caring for this 80+ year old woman, so it's not like the State of Montana is receiving any sort of financial windfall as a result of this situation.


    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    Doesn't she and her family have some say and rights in this?
    Unless she is subject to some sort of court order, she -- and only she -- gets to decide where she lives. If there's a court order making her a ward of the state, then whoever wants to be responsible for her care will need to seek to have that order terminated or modified.

  4. #4
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    Jun 2014
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    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    What do you mean the State of Montana tans took custody of her and put her in assisted living ? Unless you are there or have talked directly to her attorney. You do not know her accurate medical status. Did a court find she is incompetent of making her own decisions ?

    Have a family members gone to Montana and talked with the administrator of the nursing home? They are not going to let her leave on her own without someone being with her. She will also need to prove she will be cared for in Montana or another state.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    15,400

    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    Quote Quoting pg1067
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    I'm not sure who "they" are, but why would anyone "give her [any money] to spend"?

    They are only allowing her 10.00 a month of her own money to spend. The rest is going towards paying for the assisted living. That is a particularly low amount, most times I have heard that its 20.00 to 50.00.


    Liberti, one thing that the children and grandchildren might want to consider doing in the interim, is to provide her some extra money to spend. Life can be much more comfortable if one can afford to buy the necessary toiletries, get ones hair done and various other small luxuries. Do encourage all of them to get her moved closer to them, but it the meantime provide her a little extra.


    And don't send her checks...they won't necessarily make it easy for her to cash them. Send gift cards or even risk sending a small amount of cash.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    Quote Quoting pg1067
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    I assume this woman is unrelated to you in any way.




    So...there's a court order declaring her to be a ward of the state?




    I'm not sure who "they" are, but why would anyone "give her [any money] to spend"?




    What does "Montana does not want" mean? While Montana's population is barely over a million people, it hardly has a collective mind and has over 21,000 state employees. So who exactly is it that "does not want" this?




    What attorney? Whom does this attorney represent?




    It is a virtual certainty that whatever "money she gets from Social Security" doesn't even come close to covering the cost of caring for this 80+ year old woman, so it's not like the State of Montana is receiving any sort of financial windfall as a result of this situation.




    Unless she is subject to some sort of court order, she -- and only she -- gets to decide where she lives. If there's a court order making her a ward of the state, then whoever wants to be responsible for her care will need to seek to have that order terminated or modified.
    Nursing home residents are given a little money to buy things the facility does not provide. This money is taken from checks that are direct deposited for their care.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2019
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    Pacific Northwest
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    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    Yes the state of Montana took custody of her because she was not eating or taking her medications and neighbors called the state when they learned her daughter left her there on her own and moved. The place she was placed sold her items and gives her according to her $10 a month spending money out of her social security There is a someone in the state a case worker that got a court order to put her in assisted living because She was not caring for her self. My son in law said he went to visit when he learned about it back in August and they refused him to see her. Later they let him and his children visit for an hour. He told them that he wanted her moved to Washington State where there is a lot of family to help and visit but according to the Assisted living staff head not sure who that excatly was they said she has to stay in Montana now. He asked why no one has contacted any family they said they didn't have people to contact but he said she gave you address's and finally was able to get a phone to call him.

    They said she has to stay where she is. She does not want to be there but wants to go to Washington state where she has a lot of family. We have been unable to talk to her Case worker probably due to Holidays so hope to get a hold of her soon to see if the family can arrange for her to come to an Assisted living place in Washington. From what we understand the Place she is at staff keeps telling her she cannot leave there and sold her sewing machine and things she loved to do so she is really depressed and bored. She is allowed to go with other people to shop in a nearby store. She is my grandchildren's great grandmother and son in laws grandma. She is a friend and has visited our home often before she went to Montana with her younger daughter.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    Based on what you have said. It sounds like she is in a nursing home. The family needs to pick one person to be responsible for her. That person needs to contact an attorney in Montana. They will have to show she has a specific place to live that meets her needs in the new state. If Montana allows her to move. The nursing hone in the new state will require her to give the family member legal and medical power of attorney.

    This is the first time I have heard of a nursing home resident being given only $10 a month. Usually the amount is $30-$45.

  9. #9
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    Jan 2015
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    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    It sounds like a big snafu, and some of your reporting of her comments sound like they may be coming from someone who has some amount of confusion and or dementia, and the $10 figure that keeps coming up may be coming from the same place ('they sold her sewing machine and things she loved to do so she is depressed" ) And it appears that this big caring family let her get in quite a bad state before neighbors moved to report her and get her affairs taken over by the authorities.

    If I were a caseworker, I wouldn't have too much trust all the dedicated hordes of relatives who are complaining now. It sounds as though this one person who so proudly claims she is my children's great grandmother has decided to go to bat for the whole family, which, quite frankly, do not sound like they're all that interested in moving her closer to them due to all their other family issues.

    This poster is letting herself be the mouthpiece without knowing exactly what she has in mind. As has been suggested, one family member would have to assume responsibility, would have to contact an attorney, would definitely have to demonstrate that they were willing and had adequate care for her, etc. And I suspect there's really no one who is willing to spend the time and money to do this. I suspect that she is not going to be able to live independently, and will not be significantly better satisfied in another state.

    It is terribly sad, but sometimes people get to the place where they do not have the capacity to care for themselves a while before they come to acceptance of this, and they'll spend hours begging to go back home, get to where they can sew or keep chickens again, or to move to so and so where my niece, grandchild, daughter, other son.....will take care of me. Even when it isn't realistic. I vividly remember going to see my aged great aunt in a care home, where she would always take me to the side and beg me to carry out messages that she was being abused and neglected...I was about ten years old at the time, and it was very confusing. Not to mention heartbreaking to her family, who really were doing their best to care for her.

    I strongly suggest you provide what contact and support you can for this woman without telling her you're coming to take her out of the state when it is absolutely not your place. Send her a little money, call her, send cards, etc. Only her willing and involved family members could go through the actual moving her to their state. You can't do it.

  10. #10
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    Jul 2018
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    Default Re: My Grandchildren's Great Grandmother in Montana No Family There Can She Be Moved

    Quote Quoting Liberti
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    Yes the state of Montana took custody of her
    If the state has formally taken custody, then whoever wants to take over and be responsible will need to contact the relevant state agency to make arrangements and may need to file with the court for a formal conservatorship (adult guardianship). I encourage that person to consult with a local attorney who handles elder law matters.

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