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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    3

    Default Is Divorce the Only Solution

    Married in FL, 14 yrs, been together for 27 yrs. Own house & bank accounts jointly. I do have a few bank accounts in just my name, no joint credit card but am an authorized user on his (never used it though). No debts except current expenses, all paid in full monthly. Husband retired with pension, I still work but plan on retiring in 5 yrs.
    Husband sufferes from mental illness & lately worsen. He felt the need to get rid of all of our money, I even found some crumbled cash in the trash one night. In a few days time, he charged thousands on his card to places like GoFundMe. Tonight, he insists we go get a loan so he can give more away.
    I have already moved as much cash as I can into my account but was uable to lower his credit card limit as I am not the primary card holder. I refused to get the loan, of course, but fear he will do something (LOC, equity loan, mortgage, a person loan?) while I am at work. Can he do that without my consent & signature?
    Is a divorce the only solution to cut financial ties from my husband in FL? I still want to take care of him but I need to protect myself from potential financial disaster.
    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    7,092

    Default Re: Is Divorce the Only Solution

    Quote Quoting ChichiL
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    Is a divorce the only solution to cut financial ties from my husband in FL? I still want to take care of him but I need to protect myself from potential financial disaster.
    Thank you.
    Your husband is certainly not acting rationally. One option may be to seek to have him declared mentally incompetent and seek guardianship over him. Whether he is competent or not is something you'd need to ask a psychiatrist as a starting point for a medical evaluation.

    You are not in a community property state, so that helps you a bit because you are not personally liable for most debts that he incurs on his own (the exception being certain bills for necessities). But a divorce would make that even a clearer split of finances.

    I suggest you see a family law attorney to go through your situation and get advice as to the options you may have. Whatever you decide to do is likely going to take some time to accomplish so don't wait too long to get started.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    6,092

    Default Re: Is Divorce the Only Solution

    Quote Quoting ChichiL
    View Post
    but fear he will do something (LOC, equity loan, mortgage, a person loan?) while I am at work. Can he do that without my consent & signature?
    How is your property held? Is your name on the title? If it is, then the equity loan and mortgage cannot be taken out with your signature. A LOC may be possible if he has a business with assets or he puts up some other collateral such as a bank account or a retirement account in his name but he would not be able to get a LOC using the property as collateral. The same would apply with getting a personal loan. What could he use as collateral to back the loan?

    What is his credit score?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Is Divorce the Only Solution

    Yes, name is on the title. I stopped by a few banks today & they all told me that he can start the application process but will need my present & consent at the closing. So I feel a little better. There is no side business or other collateral of value that I can think of. He has no bank account on his own, only joint. That account now only carry the minimum required balance and I kept it open for SSD auto deposit. He has a pension though, pay out monthly til death. He has great credit score as I am the one who handles all finances. Everything paid on time. The only thing I can think of now is him getting new credit cards without my knowledge.

    I made an appt for next week although I really don't want a divorce. I just want to protect our assets. You wrote ' because you are not personally liable for most debts that he incurs on his own' but can't the creditors come after the house as he owns half? If so, to me, in a way, I am paying for his debt.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    2,991

    Default Re: Is Divorce the Only Solution

    You might want to share your concerns with his doctors. Have you looked into becoming his Representative Payee for his SSDI ? A letter from his doctor stating he cannot manage his finances should be enough. I do not know about his pension.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Is Divorce the Only Solution

    SSDI is not that much & if he wants to give/donate that away every month then I am okay with that. My main concern was losing the house & what we have already saved.

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