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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    21

    Default How to Return Home or See Your Child After a Domestic Violence Accusation

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: New Jersey

    Hello - I am in a very bad situation and I'm not sure what to do.

    Two days ago, I had an altercation with my wife, who is 7 weeks pregnant with our second child, that ended up with the police coming to our home. Long story short, I had to take away her phone because she was extremely angry at me and was about to do something serious (cancel our child's first birthday party, which in my culture is a very big deal...like a wedding reception), so I took the phone. She tried to take it back. During the struggle for the phone, she pulled my hand and my forearm hit her belly. She immediately claimed that I "punched her" and called the police.

    Ultimately I was not arrested but asked to leave the house for both of us to cool off. I have not returned home.

    My wife is still at home with my child and her parents. I would like to go back home and see my child, and sleep in my own bed. However, I am concerned that, at some point, she may again call the police if either we argue or just to bolster her case against me should we divorce by making something up. She says I can come home. I have asked her if I could take my child out to visit me where i'm staying but she says that she will not let our daughter out of her sight because I am a "threat". We discussed her moving to her house (we have two homes, one titled to me, one to her. We live in mine), but she says our daughter has to go with her and I could only see her in her house.

    Is there a way for me to actually cohabitate with her with some sort of protection against further police action? Is there a way to get her out of my home and get the right to have my daughter outside of her presence?

    Please advise.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    14,763

    Default Re: How Do I Safely Get Back to My Home And/or See My Child

    Only by filing for divorce or legal separation. Or, go home and never do anything like trying to take her phone away from her again. Never try to physically restrain her from doing anything, period.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: How Do I Safely Get Back to My Home And/or See My Child

    My concern is that even if I do not touch her or even get physically anywhere near her, that she will claim that I did. If I argue with her again, she will claim that my verbal abuse has stressed her and causing pregnancy issues like bleeding or spotting.

    I didn't think legal separation existed in NJ?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    670

    Default Re: How Do I Safely Get Back to My Home And/or See My Child

    Quote Quoting kpark1996
    View Post
    Is there a way for me to actually cohabitate with her with some sort of protection against further police action?
    Not really sure I understand the question. Are you asking if there's a way to completely and absolutely prevent her from calling the police? I hope you understand that would be absurd. If that's not what you're asking, you'll have to clarify.

    Quote Quoting kpark1996
    View Post
    Is there a way to get her out of my home and get the right to have my daughter outside of her presence?
    Taking the second part of this question first, the law has nothing to say about the living arrangements of married persons and their children. Unless one of you seeks and obtains a restraining order or files for divorce, there are no legal restrictions on either of you taking your child anywhere at any time (save for the fact that passports are required for international travel).

    As for the first part of this questions, the only way for either of you to compel the other to leave your marital home is to seek and obtain a restraining order or file for divorce and obtain an order for exclusive possession of the marital residence.

    Since you seem to be heading for divorce, I suggest you consult with a local divorce attorney.

    Quote Quoting kpark1996
    View Post
    I didn't think legal separation existed in NJ?
    As phrased this isn't a question, but it appears New Jersey does not allow parties to seek a legal separation as an alternative to divorce.

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