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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default Don't Know Who The Father Is

    I reside in NY. 13 years ago when I was in college I had a one-night stand with a man, who the next morning told me he was married and could never see me again. I never knew his last name. Therefore, no father's name on the birth certificate. I am married now with three other children. We all have the same last name except for my 12 year old daughter. She cries at times because she is different and the kids make fun of her name (my maiden name). It is embarrassing that people don't connect us as mother/daughter because our names our different on forms, newspaper articles, etc. What is the process for a name change in this case? What does it cost? How long can I expect the process to take?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Don't Know Who The Father Is

    Are you now married? Have you considered step-parent adoption?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Don't Know Who The Father Is

    Yes, I'm married but adoption is very expensive - $600+ just for the in-home evaluation. A name change would accomplish what we want without the price tag.

    I just want to know what the judge is going to expect me to do, and is he going to belittle me because of my indiscretion 13 years ago as a college student?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Don't Know Who The Father Is

    You would ask the court to waive the requirement of precertification, due to its being a step-parent adoption.
    Quote Quoting § 115(1)(b) - General provisions relating to private-placement adoptions.
    1.(b) A person or persons seeking to commence a private-placement adoption shall, prior to the submission of a petition for such adoption and prior to any transfer of physical custody of an adoptive child, be certified as a qualified adoptive parent or parents by a court of competent jurisdiction pursuant to section one hundred fifteen-d of this title. The provisions of such section may be waived upon the court's own motion or upon the application of any party for good cause shown.
    I doubt that the judge will belittle you - your situation is far from unique. But one way or another you're going to have to go before the court, explain why the father cannot be identified or served, and get permission for "substituted service", likely by such means as publication and public postings.

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