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  1. #1

    Default Can Stepparent Adoption Be Denied Over an Admission of Smoking Marijuana

    My question involves adoption law for the State of: NEW YORK

    Long story short... My father hates me and hates my husband. He is an abusive, controlling narcissist. He has tried everything including stalking and making threats to run him off. When I had enough of my father, I put my daughter in a daycare. (my parents provided childcare while we worked). My father was so angry about me putting my child in a daycare that he called his close friend.. who happened to be the social worker at my children's school. She thinks the world of my father and believed everything he said. She also works part time at Child Protective Services. He told her that he thought my husband used corporal punishment on my kids. that report was unfounded. He then called and told her that there was domestic violence in the home. That report was unfounded..

    During all this, he became even more hostile. My oldest son went to live with his father to get away from it all, leading my father to start driving all the way down there to "check on him." My ex husband lives 45 minutes away. My father made time to go there every weekend but never could come to my house and check on my kids. I live around the corner from him. then, My youngest son started acting out in school. He then called and reported that my husband was smoking marijuana in front of my kids. He does smoke marijuana. My children never even knew he did, until my father told them that he did.

    My father systematically mind f*cked my middle son to believe that he will die if he comes to my house, so he refuses. If he comes over, he has panic attacks and throws up. He runs away and fights with other kids. Anyway, my husband told the cps worker outright that he does smoke weed and that he would fail a drug test if he took one. She made the report indicated. I appealed the finding and requested that the decision overturned. I just got a letter today stating that the request denied. It also states: "this means that we find the allegations to be relevant to you having certain kinds of jobs working with or around children or to you being a foster or adoptive parent."

    Does this mean that my husband will not be able to adopt my daughter?? Her father (different than my 3 boys) is non existent. My husband is the only father she knows... He wanted to adopt her the day she was born..
    How can I fight this??

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    3,306

    Default Re: Can My Husband Be Denied a Step Parent Adoption

    Can you provide any evidence that the act you say your father did were actually done by your father? If so get thee to a lawyer.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Can My Husband Be Denied a Step Parent Adoption

    Quote Quoting PayrolGuy
    View Post
    Can you provide any evidence that the act you say your father did were actually done by your father? If so get thee to a lawyer.
    My father tried to take me to court for custody of my 11 year old, he first went to the police department and filed an incident report stating his version of everything that was going on and that he spoke to the social worker several times... (I don't want to put her name) I have to dig up the incident report to see exactly what he said.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Can My Husband Be Denied a Step Parent Adoption

    You and/or your husband were found to have engaged in some form of, presumably, child neglect that did not warrant further action. All we know about the allegations that were determined to be founded is that your husband stated that he smokes marijuana on a regular basis. I would venture that there was more to the finding.

    Might that finding affect an attempt at stepparent adoption? Without more facts, I could only guess. If the child's father is willing to consent to adoption, or is deceased or otherwise long out of the picture, then I suggest discussing the matter in some detail with a lawyer in your state who is familiar with adoption cases.

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