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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    231

    Default Custody and Bed Buddies

    It may not be a consideration in court, but in my area there have been several instances of a child being killed by the bed buddy of the custodial parent. I believe the statistics are that a child is more likely to be injured by a non-parent adult in the home than by a parent. Any parent (CP or NCP) should be concerned about who is living in their child's home. With the current trend to llive together without the long term commitment of marriage, the no paramour clause in custody documents should be considered to determine if it is in the best interest of the child.

    This situation is particularly troubling since one CP is looking to reduce the co-parent's time, and it is the bed buddy posting the question.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    1,173

    Default Re: My Girlfriend is Having Custody Issues with Her Daughter

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
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    Have you considered that dad may file for full custody after you and her mother begin to live together without the benefit of marriage? That is as much as or more of an issue that most of what you have alleged.
    LOL! It's not the 1940s anymore. No judge in California would give a rat's ass about this, unless there's tangible evidence that the OP presents a risk of harm to the child's safety, health or well-being.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    2,281

    Default Re: My Girlfriend is Having Custody Issues with Her Daughter

    Quote Quoting readytoleave
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    None of what you said is going to be a big enough deal for custody to change. And a judge will likely start reprimanding Mom for continuing to try to take away dad's custody over little things.

    You and Mom need to accept that she chose to have a child with this man. A man who maybe isn't the best dad in the world, but is far from the worst. He could be NOT paying any child support at all like qwaspolk69's ex. Or not have even gone to the surgery like my daughter's father. He could chose to not exercise any of his parenting time at all and completely abandon the child. Why try to take away custody from someone who is utilizing their time with THEIR child?

    From the brief post you made, it seems more like mom is trying to get more money for her new and improved family and punish dad for doing things differently than she does.
    Thank you ^^^^ this. My ex wasn't even around when I was married to him. Constantly lying to me, taking off with my car, spending my money while I sat alone with our daughter in the hospital during multiple admissions. She had a transplant almost a year ago - he was trying to scam me out of $100 saying he got a job and needed gas money. No he was mething out again - and the next night he went to jail for burglary.

    I would be concerned if my ex had any parenting time and didn't take my daughter to doctor appointments and in this kid's case too. But leaving her alone at 8 - not a huge deal. "Only" paying $650 - man I wonder how much this guy makes and contributes to his household with the mom and the daughter...

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
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    It may not be a consideration in court, but in my area there have been several instances of a child being killed by the bed buddy of the custodial parent. I believe the statistics are that a child is more likely to be injured by a non-parent adult in the home than by a parent. Any parent (CP or NCP) should be concerned about who is living in their child's home. With the current trend to llive together without the long term commitment of marriage, the no paramour clause in custody documents should be considered to determine if it is in the best interest of the child.

    This situation is particularly troubling since one CP is looking to reduce the co-parent's time, and it is the bed buddy posting the question.
    I think the stats usually show that child abuse happens more by a parent or family member than a stranger or acquaintance actually...in fact: "About four out of five abusers are the victims’ parents. A parent of the child victim was the perpetrator in 78.1% of substantiated cases of child maltreatment." So yeah it seems to me that it's more often parents who are abusing their kids and not spouses or partners.

    Yes there have been cases of significant others causing harm to or killing their partner's child. People should be concerned about who they bring around their children. One of my ex SIL got engaged to her husband a month after she met him and has four girls...and no one likes him and he gives of a creeper vibe. They've been married four years now. I hope he hasn't done anything to her kids but I wouldn't be surprised if something comes out. We don't get along because I told his POS ass off. I can't stand people who bring in a new partner around their kids who they barely know. I don't think this is really the case here and the bottomline is that courts don't really care about parents having a boyfriend or girlfriend who lives with them unless that person has a history of certain behaviors probably.

    Lots of people's partners post questions on here.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    467

    Default Re: My Girlfriend is Having Custody Issues with Her Daughter

    Quote Quoting OKisNotOK
    View Post
    It may not be a consideration in court, but in my area there have been several instances of a child being killed by the bed buddy of the custodial parent. I believe the statistics are that a child is more likely to be injured by a non-parent adult in the home than by a parent. Any parent (CP or NCP) should be concerned about who is living in their child's home. With the current trend to llive together without the long term commitment of marriage, the no paramour clause in custody documents should be considered to determine if it is in the best interest of the child.

    This situation is particularly troubling since one CP is looking to reduce the co-parent's time, and it is the bed buddy posting the question.
    The fact that you refer to two adults who live together as "bed buddies" sounds ridiculous. Many (dare I say most?) people cohabitate before getting married. My grandparents were together for 43 years and never got married. I guess they were "bed buddies". Lol. If mom was moving a new guy in every month or something, I could see the issue being raised. If she's in one long-term relationship and decides to move in with her partner, it's not some scandal.

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