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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
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    Default "My" Child vs. "Our" Child

    Quote Quoting Adklein12
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    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

    My separated husband has expressed taking my 7 month old out of state to see family, problem is he's too young & my husband is unable to take care of him at home let alone on a plane or different state. No case has been opened or filled. What can I do to prevent him from taking my son? File a child support case? A divorce case? Fill out a form? Any direction helps.
    You state "my child" and "my son". Is the child not your husband's also?

  2. #2
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    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Preventing Out of State Vacation

    Quote Quoting PMMH
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    You state "my child" and "my son". Is the child not your husband's also?
    I know that others tend to harp on people for that, but if you listen to people speaking out in the world, even happily married people do not refer to their children as "our children" unless they are both present at the time and participating in the conversation. If they are the only parent participating in the conversation its always "my children".

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Preventing Out of State Vacation

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    I know that others tend to harp on people for that, but if you listen to people speaking out in the world, even happily married people do not refer to their children as "our children" unless they are both present at the time and participating in the conversation. If they are the only parent participating in the conversation its always "my children".
    If I said my husband took my kids it would suggest that they were not his. Even though he isn’t present, she is speaking of her husband, so calling the baby hers exclusively while he is mentioned in the sentence would mean the baby is not his. The advice is totally different based on whose baby it is.

  4. #4
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Preventing Out of State Vacation

    Quote Quoting PMMH
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    If I said my husband took my kids it would suggest that they were not his. Even though he isn’t present, she is speaking of her husband, so calling the baby hers exclusively while he is mentioned in the sentence would mean the baby is not his. The advice is totally different based on whose baby it is.
    Again, it is not normal for people to speak that way in the real world. Even happily married persons rarely use the word our in relationship to their children, in spoken conversation. In the context of this thread it was clear that she was speaking about their mutual child even though she did not use the word "our".

    I only say this because I think that we tend to go overboard on that particular subject, on this forum.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
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    495

    Default Re: Preventing Out of State Vacation

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    Again, it is not normal for people to speak that way in the real world. Even happily married persons rarely use the word our in relationship to their children, in spoken conversation. In the context of this thread it was clear that she was speaking about their mutual child even though she did not use the word "our".

    I only say this because I think that we tend to go overboard on that particular subject, on this forum.
    I only asked for clarification because we also see a lot of married people with children during their marriage that aren’t their spouse’s and who the child’s legal parent is most certainly matters in this case. From a language point of view, she was stating it was her kid and not his. Whether or not it’s his kid matters in this situation, so I asked for clarification.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    671

    Default Re: Preventing Out of State Vacation

    Quote Quoting PMMH
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    I only asked for clarification because we also see a lot of married people with children during their marriage that aren’t their spouse’s and who the child’s legal parent is most certainly matters in this case. From a language point of view, she was stating it was her kid and not his. Whether or not it’s his kid matters in this situation, so I asked for clarification.
    While I don't disagree, a lot of separated parents (again, moms in particular) seem to use "my" child. Maybe they feel it gives them an upper hand wrt custody? I dunno. But it would go to Dad being "unable" to care for "her" child.

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