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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
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    111

    Default Should You File for Custody or Wait for the Other Parent to File

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY

    A week ago I fled the state with my 3 children from an abusive marriage. I'm trying to figure out if it's best for me to try to file for custody or wait and see if my kids father files custody while I try to establish residency? I did speak to a lawyer who said I could do either but because I left I will have a tough battle in court. But I spoke to a family court advocate before leaving and she said that due to the order of protection there is (part B order) and the fact that he's been arrested and had a founded child abuse case I would have a good fight to get permission to relocate. So it's slightly conflicting information and I'm not sure which I should do. My kids father told me he wants to settle out of court but wants full custody, I offered him 50/50 in each state with no child support payments. He insists he doesn't want to go to court but obviously I can't give the kids up after getting them out of the abuse. So do I file? Do I wait? He doesn't have a strong history of being proactive with his other kids and custody. I don't want to move back into the state but I also don't want to give up my children. Do I call another lawyer for advice? I just want to figure out my best course of action.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,506

    Default Re: Should I File or Wait It Out

    Quote Quoting Wickedsm85
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY

    A week ago I fled the state with my 3 children from an abusive marriage. I'm trying to figure out if it's best for me to try to file for custody or wait and see if my kids father files custody while I try to establish residency? I did speak to a lawyer who said I could do either but because I left I will have a tough battle in court. But I spoke to a family court advocate before leaving and she said that due to the order of protection there is (part B order) and the fact that he's been arrested and had a founded child abuse case I would have a good fight to get permission to relocate. So it's slightly conflicting information and I'm not sure which I should do. My kids father told me he wants to settle out of court but wants full custody, I offered him 50/50 in each state with no child support payments. He insists he doesn't want to go to court but obviously I can't give the kids up after getting them out of the abuse. So do I file? Do I wait? He doesn't have a strong history of being proactive with his other kids and custody. I don't want to move back into the state but I also don't want to give up my children. Do I call another lawyer for advice? I just want to figure out my best course of action.
    He wants full custody but he doesn't want to go to court? You have offered 50/50 with no child support but you are going to be living in different states? Obviously that won't work either.

    He has been arrested for abuse and there is an order of protection yet you are willing to offer 50/50?

    The first thing you have to do is figure out what you actually want, and what works logically. The family court advocate's advice was probably more spot on than the attorney's was. I suspect that the attorney wasn't aware that he had been arrested for abuse.

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