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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2018

    Thumbs down How to Keep Yourself Safe After Breaking Up With an Abusive Ex-

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: California
    Recently my boyfriend and I have broken up after two years of dating as difficult as this process is I have the stiff reminders and scars he is left behind, in more ways than just a broken heart. So about six months ago I went to his house after he invited me there and I showed up he was in a bad mood and I kicked a plastic dust pan that broke this sent him over the edge and he hit me several times I have the photos from this of the blackeye my knees were badly bruised from being knocked down marks on my neck etc. I did not press charges at this time in fear of him and Also his very psychotic mother which lives in the home upstairs. We continue to date pretty much how most domestic violence situations happen where he intimidated me into believing that the police would never do anything to him.

    He has been to jail for one year for a domestic disturbance and also currently has a pending investigation against him for pushing a girl out of his car in which he got arrested and went to jail for. That case is in a strong case and likely is to be dropped but my question is because it might help her case is well can I still pressed charges against him even though it is something that happened six months ago. My other question is the other day I saw an old phone of mine in the center consul of his car asking how he got it he just had no idea . Weird! I have had a series of items go missing in which I have a list of all of which are worth some bit of money i.e. my old iPad, old go pro mostly electronics.

    These are items I know he has stolen from me and whether I’m able to get them back or not I would at least possibly like to have his home search for these items. Or something! He would steal things and sell them on Craigslist and even had some of his ex-gf’s family heirlooms that he asked me to sell for him...I didn’t and actually tried to get into contact with her with no luck...she was very bitter towards me and didn’t return my calls even though I was trying to help. He is known to have sticky fingers like this amongst people that know him.

    I think fully I’m dodging a huge bullet but I finally ending this relationship . I wish I could have done it sooner but it was only able to be ended when he wanted to end it not after my countless times trying. What can I do to keep myself safe, get my belongings back, and do my part and not letting him do this to another woman? There were so many red flags that I didn’t actually ignore, but felt like I was forced to ignore by this manipulator.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005

    Default Re: Breakup.i Never Want Another Person to Have to Go Through This-Help

    Yes, you can still report the prior assault to the police. The problem is that your motives could be very suspect and everyone will be asking why you waited 6 months to report it. I would encourage you to do so, but, don't get your hopes up that it will be prosecuted after so many months as even the photos don't prove WHO did it to you, or even when.

    You can also apply for a restraining order based upon the previous DV.
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ...

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