I am seeking advice on getting a divorce. I was with my ex for 9 years before he asked me to marry him. We were 19 when we met and in school and I told him I didn't want or need to get married (I am not religious and I was in no rush to tie the knot) but finally, after he graduated from architecture school, after all those years together he asked my parents for their permission to marry me. I moved across the country from Florida to San Francisco to support him in his dream of becoming an architect. I worked full time while he was in architecture school to support him and I put my dreams on hold of graduating from college. I did get to complete my degree at an online school with his help as my cosigner because my family was not able to help financially.
We were engaged for 1 year. We moved from San Francisco to Portland, OR for a job opportunity for him. We were happily married for 4 months before I discovered he was cheating on me. He confronted me about it and told me he had been on tinder for some time and that he realized he wanted to be polyamorous with both women and men. He told me all about his secret fetishes that he had been keeping from me for a decade. I was devastated because he was my best friend and my partner. He knew everything about me but it turns out I knew nothing about him. We had just adopted a dog and moved to a new city. We were talking about buying a car, buying a home, paying off our debts, and starting a family. We decided to try to work it out but then 3 months later, just before my 30th birthday, I discovered he was doing it again behind my back. I left him.
I slept on a friend's couch for a month. I barely ate- I had no money for food. All of my debt went to collections. I defaulted on my student loans. I got fired from my job at a veterinary hospital because I cried all the time- I was so depressed. He didn't help me at all and I struggled for one year. I was so close to living on the streets, I was barely making enough money to pay rent. I knew no one in Portland and I was completely alone. No family, one friend. I contacted the public law offices here in Portland because I had no money to get a lawyer. I left my name and phone number every Wednesday for 6 months and the woman on the phone at the law office said they would take my case based on the level of urgency. No one would take my case.
Finally I am getting my life back together and I am working for Marriott in downtown Portland. I have very little, I am on my own, but I am willing to pay the very little money I have to a lawyer in hopes that I may get some financial spousal support from my ex and finally break free from this marriage. We are still married, but legally separated since September 2016. I begged him for a divorce when I left because he makes $70,000 a year as an architect but he didn't move forward. I called a lawyer's office and they said they charge $250 per hour for a consult. That is half my paycheck and I can't pay that kind of money.
I need to end this marriage and get financial help from him so I can start to rebuild my credit and pay off my debts and start my future!