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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    california
    Posts
    4

    Default Protecting An Unborn Child From A Harassing Biological Father

    I live in Southern California and i need help asap. I am almost 7 months pregnant with my ex bf's baby. I lived with him for 5 months and moved out due to him being a pothead, having parties till 6AM, minors drinking in the home, neglect for his 4 year old son, not working, he put me 10k in credit card debt promising to pay me back, i supposted him and his son for the entire 5 months. He only contributed 600 dollars the entire time. I bailed him out of jail for his 2nd DUI and also got his car out of tow under a promise to pay me back. Anyways, my main concern nis my unborn son. I saw what kind of a father he was to his other son while i lived with him. I did everything i could to shield his son from his obvious neglect. He would not brush his sons teeth for days on end, he let him urinate his bed and not wash his childs bedding until the smell of urine was so bad it would linger into the ENTIRE house, (or unless i said something or did it myself) , his son would poop his underpants and he would NOT clean off his bottom AND he would throw the poop filled pants and underpants on the floor in his childs room and leave them there for weeks. He would feed him mac and cheese for breakfast or chips or whatever the child wanted unless i spoke up on his behalf. He would sleep for hours and allow his toddler to be unsupervised for hours wandering all over the home getting into whatever he could find. I did warn the childs mother via e mail about this when i moved out, to warn her of what goes on in that home. She is no better. They are both alcoholics and not only do i fear for that child still...(parties still go on with that child in the home) i Fear for the courts to allow ANY sort of unsupervised visitation with this man. He is 27 years old but has the mental capacity of a teenager. I see how he is with that boy, why would he be any different with my son? I am going today to file for sole physical and legal custody of my unborn son. I want to be proactive in this situation. He thinks i have a history of domestic violence which i do not. There is one police report regarding me and my ex where he and i bother were listed as suspect AND victim. And i will have a written notarized statement from that man regarding my character. I have asked that he be honest in his statement. Furthermore, i am am collecting data from his myspace account showing that he is contributing to the deliquency of minors by allowing them to drink inhis home, i am printing out harrassing statements about me (where he lists my full name) calling me a controlling whore and a ****en evil botch etc. . I have e mailed his current 20 year old girlfriend to warn her about the type of person he is. (I am the 5th or 6th pregnancy that he has inflicted) The boy and my unborn son are the only living children. All other women got abortions. They didnt want to deal with what i am going through. I think he honestly wants to just get s many women pregnant as he can. He threatens to take my son away from me or make me move back up to northern cali, which i know he cannot legaly do. He is stressing me out to no end! I just want to make sure my son is SAFE. What else can i do to prevent him from unsupervised visits with my son in the future? I want to be proactive and take charge of this situation. And obviously, i am scared to death. please...what else can i do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    the voices told me to type "Cali"
    Posts
    76

    Default Re: 6 mos pregnant in CA, harassing bio father, im scared

    Quote Quoting shellieg
    View Post
    I live in Southern California and i need help asap. I am almost 7 months pregnant with my ex bf's baby. I lived with him for 5 months and moved out due to him being a pothead, having parties till 6AM, minors drinking in the home, neglect for his 4 year old son, not working, he put me 10k in credit card debt promising to pay me back, i supposted him and his son for the entire 5 months. He only contributed 600 dollars the entire time. I bailed him out of jail for his 2nd DUI and also got his car out of tow under a promise to pay me back. Anyways, my main concern nis my unborn son. I saw what kind of a father he was to his other son while i lived with him. I did everything i could to shield his son from his obvious neglect. He would not brush his sons teeth for days on end, he let him urinate his bed and not wash his childs bedding until the smell of urine was so bad it would linger into the ENTIRE house, (or unless i said something or did it myself) , his son would poop his underpants and he would NOT clean off his bottom AND he would throw the poop filled pants and underpants on the floor in his childs room and leave them there for weeks. He would feed him mac and cheese for breakfast or chips or whatever the child wanted unless i spoke up on his behalf. He would sleep for hours and allow his toddler to be unsupervised for hours wandering all over the home getting into whatever he could find. I did warn the childs mother via e mail about this when i moved out, to warn her of what goes on in that home. She is no better. They are both alcoholics and not only do i fear for that child still...(parties still go on with that child in the home) i Fear for the courts to allow ANY sort of unsupervised visitation with this man. He is 27 years old but has the mental capacity of a teenager. I see how he is with that boy, why would he be any different with my son? I am going today to file for sole physical and legal custody of my unborn son. I want to be proactive in this situation. He thinks i have a history of domestic violence which i do not. There is one police report regarding me and my ex where he and i bother were listed as suspect AND victim. And i will have a written notarized statement from that man regarding my character. I have asked that he be honest in his statement. Furthermore, i am am collecting data from his myspace account showing that he is contributing to the deliquency of minors by allowing them to drink inhis home, i am printing out harrassing statements about me (where he lists my full name) calling me a controlling whore and a ****en evil botch etc. . I have e mailed his current 20 year old girlfriend to warn her about the type of person he is. (I am the 5th or 6th pregnancy that he has inflicted) The boy and my unborn son are the only living children. All other women got abortions. They didnt want to deal with what i am going through. I think he honestly wants to just get s many women pregnant as he can. He threatens to take my son away from me or make me move back up to northern cali, which i know he cannot legaly do. He is stressing me out to no end! I just want to make sure my son is SAFE. What else can i do to prevent him from unsupervised visits with my son in the future? I want to be proactive and take charge of this situation. And obviously, i am scared to death. please...what else can i do?
    So, how is it that you knew what a HORRIBLE person and parent he was/is and yet you still are having his child?

    Anyway, you can not get custody of an unborn child. Go here http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/ca...body=&hits=All and educate yourself. (start around Div. 8 and pay attention to Div. 12)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    the voices told me to type "Cali"
    Posts
    76

    Default Re: neglect in CA, new unborn child involved need help!

    Quote Quoting shellieg
    View Post
    I live in Southern California and i need help asap. I am almost 7 months pregnant with my ex bf's baby. I lived with him for 5 months and moved out due to him being a pothead, having parties till 6AM, minors drinking in the home, neglect for his 4 year old son, not working, he put me 10k in credit card debt promising to pay me back, i supposted him and his son for the entire 5 months. He only contributed 600 dollars the entire time. I bailed him out of jail for his 2nd DUI and also got his car out of tow under a promise to pay me back. Anyways, my main concern nis my unborn son. I saw what kind of a father he was to his other son while i lived with him. I did everything i could to shield his son from his obvious neglect. He would not brush his sons teeth for days on end, he let him urinate his bed and not wash his childs bedding until the smell of urine was so bad it would linger into the ENTIRE house, (or unless i said something or did it myself) , his son would poop his underpants and he would NOT clean off his bottom AND he would throw the poop filled pants and underpants on the floor in his childs room and leave them there for weeks. He would feed him mac and cheese for breakfast or chips or whatever the child wanted unless i spoke up on his behalf. He would sleep for hours and allow his toddler to be unsupervised for hours wandering all over the home getting into whatever he could find. I did warn the childs mother via e mail about this when i moved out, to warn her of what goes on in that home. She is no better. They are both alcoholics and not only do i fear for that child still...(parties still go on with that child in the home) i Fear for the courts to allow ANY sort of unsupervised visitation with this man. He is 27 years old but has the mental capacity of a teenager. I see how he is with that boy, why would he be any different with my son? I am going today to file for sole physical and legal custody of my unborn son. I want to be proactive in this situation. He thinks i have a history of domestic violence which i do not. There is one police report regarding me and my ex where he and i bother were listed as suspect AND victim. And i will have a written notarized statement from that man regarding my character. I have asked that he be honest in his statement. Furthermore, i am am collecting data from his myspace account showing that he is contributing to the deliquency of minors by allowing them to drink inhis home, i am printing out harrassing statements about me (where he lists my full name) calling me a controlling whore and a ****en evil botch etc. . I have e mailed his current 20 year old girlfriend to warn her about the type of person he is. (I am the 5th or 6th pregnancy that he has inflicted) The boy and my unborn son are the only living children. All other women got abortions. They didnt want to deal with what i am going through. I think he honestly wants to just get s many women pregnant as he can. He threatens to take my son away from me or make me move back up to northern cali, which i know he cannot legaly do. He is stressing me out to no end! I just want to make sure my son is SAFE. What else can i do to prevent him from unsupervised visits with my son in the future? I want to be proactive and take charge of this situation. And obviously, i am scared to death. please...what else can i do?
    I answered this post in your other thread but forgot to mention if you are aware of a situation in witch a child is being neglected or abused call CPS ASAP!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    california
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: 6 mos pregnant in CA, harassing bio father, im scared

    I dont believe in abortion. This child is a part of me as well. I SHOULD have done a lot of things, call CPS, leave him, etc. But he was a sweet talker and a liar and manipulater and i fell for his crap. I cant live on what i SHOULD have done. If that was the case, i obviously wouldnt be in this situation. I need to see what i can do NOW. And i need any assistance and guidance that i can.
    I know you cant get custody of an UNBORN child, i meant for when he is born. I am trying to be proactive because i NEED to protect my child now that he is almost here.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    354

    Default Re: Protecting An Unborn Child From A Harassing Biological Father

    Perhaps you should start with eme's advice and report his neglect of his other child to CPS. If that child is removed from the home, as it sounds he should be...and FAST....that "history" of child neglect will also help your case, after your child is born, in seeking a court order for either no visitation or only supervised visitation with your child.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    california
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Protecting An Unborn Child From A Harassing Biological Father

    What if for some reason CPS shows up on a day when he actually did the laundry or went to the grocery store? I also have a letter from that childs mother stating that she has had to give him food and money just so she would feel comfortable dropping the child off to him. And she has ignored the fact taht i explained all of this neglect to her. She just needs a person to watch him i guess, its easier for her...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,126

    Default Re: Protecting An Unborn Child From A Harassing Biological Father

    Quote Quoting shellieg
    View Post
    What if for some reason CPS shows up on a day when he actually did the laundry or went to the grocery store? I also have a letter from that childs mother stating that she has had to give him food and money just so she would feel comfortable dropping the child off to him. And she has ignored the fact taht i explained all of this neglect to her. She just needs a person to watch him i guess, its easier for her...
    Then, that's the chance you'll have to take if he is really doing the things you say.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    california
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Protecting An Unborn Child From A Harassing Biological Father

    And i will take that chance. I HAVE to do it. I will do it tomorrow....

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: 6 mos pregnant in CA, harassing bio father, im scared

    Quote Quoting eme
    View Post
    So, how is it that you knew what a HORRIBLE person and parent he was/is and yet you still are having his child?

    Anyway, you can not get custody of an unborn child. Go here http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/ca...body=&hits=All and educate yourself. (start around Div. 8 and pay attention to Div. 12)
    hello I live in nj had a similar situation yet i lost my baby isabella rain i was 3 months along the father who was my fiance at the time offered me 50,000 to abort i made arrangements to leave and be a single mother, on may 12 he attempted murder -he suffocated me restrained me until iwas on the brink of unconciousness. he kicked me in the stomache draagged me acroos the floor it was the scariest experince , I felt I going. I was paralized with fear to reach out for help for he knows some heavy hitters and always said he would have me disapper if i ever reached out for help with previous abuse. we go for perm. restaining order the 7th of june and he then will be proscutated on 5 crimmanal charges all 3rd degree yet i will go rt over persons heads to see justice, he needs to be put away! what do you feel he will get jail time i am praying. also in nj there is no fetal law i am trying to change this any persons willing to sign petetion please help a=me and all the other woman out there. you can e-mail me if interested. to lose a unborn child there are no words to expresss the lost. thankyou for hearing me and i send prayers to you.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: 6 mos pregnant in CA, harassing bio father, im scared

    Quote Quoting skylair 11
    View Post
    hello I live in nj had a similar situation yet i lost my baby isabella rain i was 3 months along the father who was my fiance at the time offered me 50,000 to abort i made arrangements to leave and be a single mother, on may 12 he attempted murder -he suffocated me restrained me until iwas on the brink of unconciousness. he kicked me in the stomache draagged me acroos the floor it was the scariest experince , I felt I going. I was paralized with fear to reach out for help for he knows some heavy hitters and always said he would have me disapper if i ever reached out for help with previous abuse. we go for perm. restaining order the 7th of june and he then will be proscutated on 5 crimmanal charges all 3rd degree yet i will go rt over persons heads to see justice, he needs to be put away! what do you feel he will get jail time i am praying. also in nj there is no fetal law i am trying to change this any persons willing to sign petetion please help a=me and all the other woman out there. you can e-mail me if interested. to lose a unborn child there are no words to expresss the lost. thankyou for hearing me and i send prayers to you.

    I am sorry for what you went through, however the thread you responded to was well over a month old, the op probably isn't around anymore, and board etiquette usually says if you want to ask your own questions or share your own info, you should start your own thread

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