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  1. #1

    Question Divorce

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Connecticut
    My ex spouse was not working at time of our divorce and is now earning more money than I earn. My question is involving a few issues,
    1. Modifying current alimony and child support
    2. She currently cohabitates in a million dollar home she could not afford without his income. She lived with our kids & I, at time if divorce in a 2800 per month rental then moved to homes that have varied from 2400-3200. per month. They produced a false rental agreement AFTER I asked for modification.
    3. I received some discovery which shows a continued lack of budgeting and overspending. She pays large overdraft fees due to erratic soendthrift buying and now buying items for new home. She demands money 2x month to pay her creditors. (She often asks for money earlier than due.)
    4. She threw out all of our furniture before she moved into the new home with this unrelated male. What happens if he throws her out?
    5. She also is paying off a brand new car she can’t afford, through her mom that she pays over 400 per month for.
    6. She has taken several vacations with our kids skiiing and going to florida, that also put her into overdrafts. She claims her mom paid but this was a lie as proven by her checking statements. Boyfriend must also pay some expenses on these combined vacations.
    7. She spends at high end designer name stores instead of more economical stores and then asks for more money.
    8. She moved further away and now I have to pay for trains for my visitation with our kids.
    9. She tells our children about our financial discussions and now my eldest son has said why are you stealing our money?
    10. I pay $55/70 weekly to feed my kids during my visitation time (which is also erratic as sometimes I get them, other times I dont). I have to do this as I have to travel to them and eat in local restaurants with our kids. I really can’t afford this.
    11. My parents were helping pay for costs of camp but cannot afford that anymore and shouldn’t be expected to pay.
    12. In order to keep her and kids in an apartment, I have about 90% of my income to her, my parents helped by renting me an apartment but should not be expected to continue as her living circumstances have changed dramatically.
    13. She and bf are holding themselves out to the affluent community they now live in, as a “married couple” (-they are not married-), and is that something to use in modification of support and visitation?
    14. Lastly they have a tenant on their property paying rent in a separated studio that is part of the single family home. What can I do about proving my ex is not actually paying rent and this income most likely offsets his mortgage? He said he could afford the home without her. He bought so they could move in together with our children.
    Thanks for all advice.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    13,867

    Default Re: Divorce

    Quote Quoting GoingBroke18
    View Post
    14. Lastly they have a tenant on their property paying rent in a separated studio that is part of the single family home. What can I do about proving my ex is not actually paying rent and this income most likely offsets his mortgage? He said he could afford the home without her. He bought so they could move in together with our children.
    The bolded is absolutely none of your business. Whether or not he can afford the home by himself is none of your business. CT doesn't recognize common law marriage so the fact that they may let some people think that they are married is irrelevant.

    What does your divorce decree say about alimony and co-habitation?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    97,262

    Default Re: Divorce

    You should take your divorce judgment to a lawyer for a discussion of the spousal support provisions, and to discuss the facts of your case to see if they form a plausible basis for modification. Your ability to modify spousal support may be limited by the terms of your judgment.

    If the spousal support order was predicated upon your ex's being unemployed, she now earns a substantial income, and your order is modifiable based on changed circumstances, then you can use that fact as a basis to seek modification.

    You suggest that the court has already heard and ruled against you on the issue of rent. If the court has not yet issued a ruling, but has before it a document stating that your ex- is renting space from her boyfriend, you can talk to your lawyer about possible ways to prove that she's not paying rent. But at the same time, if you're concerned that she may be booted out at any moment, she'll be back to paying rent the moment that happens.

    It's not your business, whether she shops for designer labels or shops at thrift stores. It's not surprising that your ex- has car payments. It's not your business if she occasionally bounces a check.

    If your parents are helping you pay for the apartment where you live, you can be grateful for their support. It is not clear why that would be relevant to your ex.

    Issues relating to child custody and payment for support of the children while they are in your care are not relevant to spousal support. If the custody order has been modified to reflect the new longer distance and associated travel, your costs are issues that you should have addressed at that time. If the order has not been modified, discuss the issue with your lawyer when you discuss possible modification of spousal support. Division of the cost of summer camp is also something that will be reflected in the child support order, not spousal support. You can also discuss with the lawyer your ex's alleged statements to your child about your supposedly "stealing" her money.

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