You should take your divorce judgment to a lawyer for a discussion of the spousal support provisions, and to discuss the facts of your case to see if they form a plausible basis for modification. Your ability to modify spousal support may be limited by the terms of your judgment.

If the spousal support order was predicated upon your ex's being unemployed, she now earns a substantial income, and your order is modifiable based on changed circumstances, then you can use that fact as a basis to seek modification.

You suggest that the court has already heard and ruled against you on the issue of rent. If the court has not yet issued a ruling, but has before it a document stating that your ex- is renting space from her boyfriend, you can talk to your lawyer about possible ways to prove that she's not paying rent. But at the same time, if you're concerned that she may be booted out at any moment, she'll be back to paying rent the moment that happens.

It's not your business, whether she shops for designer labels or shops at thrift stores. It's not surprising that your ex- has car payments. It's not your business if she occasionally bounces a check.

If your parents are helping you pay for the apartment where you live, you can be grateful for their support. It is not clear why that would be relevant to your ex.

Issues relating to child custody and payment for support of the children while they are in your care are not relevant to spousal support. If the custody order has been modified to reflect the new longer distance and associated travel, your costs are issues that you should have addressed at that time. If the order has not been modified, discuss the issue with your lawyer when you discuss possible modification of spousal support. Division of the cost of summer camp is also something that will be reflected in the child support order, not spousal support. You can also discuss with the lawyer your ex's alleged statements to your child about your supposedly "stealing" her money.