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  1. #1

    Default Re: Advice in High Conflict Custody Battle; Dvro, Child Emotional Abuse, Etc

    Thank you!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    Default Re: Advice in High Conflict Custody Battle; Dvro, Child Emotional Abuse, Etc

    There is no legal question here. This is a vent. We're sorry you're having a bad time. You need to get some good counseling for yourself to help you deal with these issues, and make sure your children are in counseling as well. You sound as if you are totally beaten down, totally not moving on, totally rehashing, engaging, and deeply involved with this person who is still very much controlling your life. Continue to retain your attorney, follow your attorney's advice carefully. DO NOT have any unnecessary contact with your ex. Use such tools as Family Wizard to communicate with him. You cannot "predict" the way the custody evaluator will lean, but you can move yourself forward as creatively as possible, trying to be perceived as the more sane and reasonable and mature of the two parents. Worrying constantly and complaining about how awful things used to be and now it's so unfair that nobody believes you as much as you think they should are not productive. Get that counseling.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Advice in High Conflict Custody Battle; Dvro, Child Emotional Abuse, Etc

    Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear:

    I am and have been in counseling every week for the past 3 years. It is our previous marriage counselor so very well aware of both people involved.

    My oldest child is also in counseling, hence the part of the court-ordered therapist accusing my ex of emotional abuse.

    I'm not really sure how this can be considered 're-hashing' when it is currently going on. My ex is currently leaving our kids with his mother while he pursues fame and fortune duirng his veryt limited visitation. My question is: Would that be considered a factor for the cusotdy evaluator in making her recommenadation?

    I do not engage. I do not speak to him at all. I have a DVRO (Domestic Violence Restraining Order) on him, and the DA's office has a CPO (Criminal Protective Order) on him so it is ordered that we only ciommunicate via Our Family Wizard, and only as it relates to the kids. I have also had the court order that we do all exchanges at the police station.

    I do not have an attorney. I paid him $50k and I have no more money.

    Another question is: Does anyone know how long it usually take to get a recomendation after the evaluator has interviews collaterals? Can anyone share their story of their evaluation?

    Does anyone know if a past criminal history will affect her recommendation, even if he pled the charges down to a misdeamanor and it was a long time ago?

    Will the fact that he is currently facing charges of violating the restrainng order affect her recomendation? He is claiming 100% innocence and saying he is bascially being framed.

    I am worrying constanty because I have no idea when the custody evaluator will make her recomendation. I have no idea how much it will cost. Or when the money will be due. I am worrying becasue I have heard that evaluators lean the way of the parent with the most money. Has anyone found this to be the case? I am worried because he is seemingly able to sail through this 730 evaluation without a care in the world while I am being reported by him for bringing our son to school late, or signing our son up for soccer during his custodial time (sopccer is every weekend), or having a phantom substance abuse issue (that no one can corroborate). I am under scrutiny and he is seemingly not.

    When I asked for advice, I guess I should have clarified: Does anyone have any stories or experience with a cusotdy evaluation that was similar and/or had any similarities.

    Thanks for the feedback-super helpful!

    My 'vent' was really just trying to give back story. This is all of the info the cusotdy evaluator has about me and him. I was looking for advice or knowledge and/or opinions on how a custody evaluator would look at our case.

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