That is likely because of concerns about community property in California. I do not practice in CA (or any community property state) and can’t really tell you exactly how to navigate that issue. You are probably going to want to get her consent for this if for no other reason than to help ensure that there isn’t a big battle between her and your kids after you die. It sounds like you are not willing to approach her to get a pre nup or consent, which makes me think you believe she would not be on board with what you want to do. If you try to hide it from her that has the potential to blow up on you (or your kids) later.

