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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    27

    Default What Options Are Available to You if Ex Refuses to Leave You Alone

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: NY
    What are your options if your ex refuses to leave you alone after the divorce? There are no physical threats but he refuses to let me be. If I don't answer his questions he tries to go through my son. It never ends. He is very vengeful. I don't think there is enough for a restraining order as there are no real threats. Perhaps an order to refrain from contact. Does anyone have any experience with this. And please don't say just not to answer his calls, txts, emails...etc. I am unable to lead my own life due to his constant contact.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: What Options Are Available to You if Ex Refuses to Leave You Alone

    What kind of questions?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    1,142

    Default Re: What Options Are Available to You if Ex Refuses to Leave You Alone

    How old is your son? What happens if you do not respond to calls and texts, let him in when he comes to your house? How does he "tries to go through my son?" No REAL threats, hm? Are you sure?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    27

    Default Re: What Options Are Available to You if Ex Refuses to Leave You Alone

    I don't let him in the home! He comes in the driveway with in his car. He has entered backyard at times. My son is 14yo. I try to explain to my son why I am not taking the calls and won't let him be the go-between. It is hard for my son, he knows what is right but is put in a difficult position as his father threatens to turn off his phone if he doesn't get me on the phone. The threats to me are mostly of financial nature. If you don't do this - I will not pay, etc. We have a decree and alimony and child is going through CSE (of course that is not working as it should yet).
    In our decree it specifies contact to only be via text or emails. If I don't respond it escalates and he tries to have my son be the messenger. "Have your mother call me it is an emergency." The last emergency was that the CSE was calling the credit bureaus because he was late on child support.
    He is narcissistic type of person - wants what he wants when he wants it.
    It has to end!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: What Options Are Available to You if Ex Refuses to Leave You Alone

    What kinds of things is he asking you to do? I understand that he says he will not pay if you do not do them - he will not pay if you do not do what?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: What Options Are Available to You if Ex Refuses to Leave You Alone

    Quote Quoting bjornen
    View Post
    I don't let him in the home! He comes in the driveway with in his car. He has entered backyard at times. My son is 14yo. I try to explain to my son why I am not taking the calls and won't let him be the go-between. It is hard for my son, he knows what is right but is put in a difficult position as his father threatens to turn off his phone if he doesn't get me on the phone. The threats to me are mostly of financial nature. If you don't do this - I will not pay, etc. We have a decree and alimony and child is going through CSE (of course that is not working as it should yet).
    In our decree it specifies contact to only be via text or emails. If I don't respond it escalates and he tries to have my son be the messenger. "Have your mother call me it is an emergency." The last emergency was that the CSE was calling the credit bureaus because he was late on child support.
    He is narcissistic type of person - wants what he wants when he wants it.
    It has to end!
    If the decree specifies that communication is to be between text and email only, then every time he sends a message for you to call him, respond via email or text. He may escalate for a short time, but eventually it will sink in that you are not going to communicate with him any way but email or text.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    27

    Default Re: What Options Are Available to You if Ex Refuses to Leave You Alone

    @cbg
    Withdraw the garnishment order, get him hard copy of medical receipts for his taxes (he is required to pay pro rata on medical expenses for my son/ stip indicates that I have to show proof of payment which I do by emailing a pic of receipts with description of bill. He wants me to print them and mail, I am not his secretary), let his son have sleepovers (none specified in agreement, I have however let him do a few sleepovers/ over all the years he has not utilized midweek dinners as per stip more than a couple times this year after I let him keep son overnight. He won't leave work in time to be home for the court ordered time (6:30p-8p). It really is all minor things -but it is constant! It is always something new he wants. All to get at me, and I can't take it anymore. It has to stop!

    @llworking
    I have been a pushover to try keep the peace for a long time, but am paying the price for it now! I will put my foot down, and become a stickler to keep with stip. Unfortunately that also means my son will get heat from his father. It really never ends...

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